Thank you Megan...in spite of what I've endured...I would not trade a minute of my life for something else...because it is all those things that make me who and what I am!
My egg-donor, the molestation that began when I was 5, the gang rape when I was 12, my step-mother passing at dinner, the auto accident that took the lives of what was left of my family at 22...even the deaths if Nanner and Elijah two years ago were "character-builders" (and you KNOW I'm a CHARACTER...NOW you know WHY!). In spite of, and maybe BECAUSE of all that, I've found a "happy spot" in the world. I have a totally amazing son, and an equally amazing and loving husband. I have a wonderfully "drama-free" life in the 'burbs, and I have no unfulfilled NEEDs or WANTs. I have just enough money to be able to afford my vape needs, I'm certainly FAT enough, so starvation is 50-60 pounds away, and my car is full of gas. For the first time in my life, I look forward to going to the mailbox...my DH pays the bills, so I don't dread finding whatever the postman leaves...
I feel that I'm doing more than just "surviving"...in spite of my physical ailments, I'm THRIVING. I DO TRY to stay humble...and not take my life for granted....I know it could be gone in a heartbeat...so I try to celebrate life every day.
Your maturity and level-headed approach to life is amazing! Sadly, I wasn't able to "accept" my egg-donor for who she WAS/IS...the PollyAnna within found it difficult to ACCEPT that a woman is capable of NOT loving her children. I tried to "fix" her (unsuccessfully) for years...the problem was she won't ADMIT she has a problem, that she is anything less than "perfect"...(as a matter of fact, she's VERY proud that at 75 she's still "working" as an "escort"! Well, goody for her, I say!). Eight years ago, she informed me that I should be "more grateful" to her, because "if abortion had been legal in the 1950s, you wouldn't be breathing!" I didn't quite follow the logic that I should be "grateful" because she did NOT break the law and murder me! If there were a list of "top 10 things NOT to say to your child, I think that would be up in at LEAST the top 5! I guess I was supposed to say "oh, thank you for not aborting me, but choosing instead to leave my sister and I to die of starvation and thirst in a hot little trailer!"
Now you see why I have always wanted to study "abnormal psychology"...these people are FASCINATING!!
I'm ready to start our book..."Survival Stories". Or "My Experience as a Cork in the Ocean of Life"!
My egg-donor, the molestation that began when I was 5, the gang rape when I was 12, my step-mother passing at dinner, the auto accident that took the lives of what was left of my family at 22...even the deaths if Nanner and Elijah two years ago were "character-builders" (and you KNOW I'm a CHARACTER...NOW you know WHY!). In spite of, and maybe BECAUSE of all that, I've found a "happy spot" in the world. I have a totally amazing son, and an equally amazing and loving husband. I have a wonderfully "drama-free" life in the 'burbs, and I have no unfulfilled NEEDs or WANTs. I have just enough money to be able to afford my vape needs, I'm certainly FAT enough, so starvation is 50-60 pounds away, and my car is full of gas. For the first time in my life, I look forward to going to the mailbox...my DH pays the bills, so I don't dread finding whatever the postman leaves...
I feel that I'm doing more than just "surviving"...in spite of my physical ailments, I'm THRIVING. I DO TRY to stay humble...and not take my life for granted....I know it could be gone in a heartbeat...so I try to celebrate life every day.
Your maturity and level-headed approach to life is amazing! Sadly, I wasn't able to "accept" my egg-donor for who she WAS/IS...the PollyAnna within found it difficult to ACCEPT that a woman is capable of NOT loving her children. I tried to "fix" her (unsuccessfully) for years...the problem was she won't ADMIT she has a problem, that she is anything less than "perfect"...(as a matter of fact, she's VERY proud that at 75 she's still "working" as an "escort"! Well, goody for her, I say!). Eight years ago, she informed me that I should be "more grateful" to her, because "if abortion had been legal in the 1950s, you wouldn't be breathing!" I didn't quite follow the logic that I should be "grateful" because she did NOT break the law and murder me! If there were a list of "top 10 things NOT to say to your child, I think that would be up in at LEAST the top 5! I guess I was supposed to say "oh, thank you for not aborting me, but choosing instead to leave my sister and I to die of starvation and thirst in a hot little trailer!"
Now you see why I have always wanted to study "abnormal psychology"...these people are FASCINATING!!
I'm ready to start our book..."Survival Stories". Or "My Experience as a Cork in the Ocean of Life"!
