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Titanium

Moved On
Oct 19, 2012
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2: Post what made you decide to quit smoking.
My wife and I picked a day and called quits then. We both were using prescriptions to help. She had Chantix and I had to use welbutrin because of my high blood pressure. I also recieved a free ecig sometime earlier and used it to help me. Been hooked since.

Free E-Cig?
MY ASH
 

inganeer

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May 26, 2012
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4: Post a funny joke.
OMG!....I was in in the public restroom - I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: embarrassed, "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
 

Titanium

Moved On
Oct 19, 2012
1,321
387
4: Post a funny joke.
OMG!....I was in in the public restroom - I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: embarrassed, "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
Hehehehehe
 

Plumes.91

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Jan 30, 2012
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All of my jokes are sort-of adult I think? I'm just getting out of my teens :p But since I've seen other's jokes that were sort-of on the boarder of risk-ay, but were considered OK. I will try my best to make it even more calmed down than I remember it. I think this one will be okay haha. Heres how it goes:

The milk man came by to see his new favorite customer. She was in the bathtub (unfilled) The milkman asked "would you like me to fill the bathtub up with some milk ma'am? I could do that yknow.. I'm a milk man!" The woman looked at him and said "hmm.. yes?" The milk man then asked "OK! Would you like raw milk, or pasteurized?" The woman stared at him blankly for a few moments, then said "Uhhh? No thank you. Just fill it up to my belly button. I can splash it past my eyes!"
 

Titanium

Moved On
Oct 19, 2012
1,321
387
All of my jokes are sort-of adult I think? I'm just getting out of my teens :p But since I've seen other's jokes that were sort-of on the boarder of risk-ay, but were considered OK. I will try my best to make it even more calmed down than I remember it. I think this one will be okay haha. Heres how it goes:

The milk man came by to see his new favorite customer. She was in the bathtub (unfilled) The milkman asked "would you like me to fill the bathtub up with some milk ma'am? I could do that yknow.. I'm a milk man!" The woman looked at him and said "hmm.. yes?" The milk man then asked "OK! Would you like raw milk, or pasteurized?" The woman stared at him blankly for a few moments, then said "Uhhh? No thank you. Just fill it up to my belly button. I can splash it past my eyes!"
Hahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaha
 

zapped

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Nov 30, 2009
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Richmond, Va...Right in Altria's back yard.
Post#4
A man walks into a bar and see an Octopus playing a violin and starts laughing. The bartender yells at him and says "That Octopus is a virtuoso and can play any musical instrument known to man, treat him with respect" The man doesn't believe him so the bartender bets him 50 bucks he can play the piano. They roll out a baby grand in front of the octopus who looks at it for a second then starts touching it all over and starts playing Beethoven, Bach and finally Chopin. The man sadly shakes his head and hands the bartender 50 bucks.

Couple of weeks go by and the man is still angry about losing his money so he walks back into the bar with a saxophone and tells the bartender 'Ill bet you 100 bucks that damned octopus cant play that". The man walks over, puts the saxophone in the chair in front of the octopus and just like before he looks at it, starts touching it all over and starts playing the blues. The man shakes his head and angrily hands the bartender 100 bucks.


Fats forward to a month later and the man thinks he has a surefire plan and musical instrument the Octopus has probably never seen. He walks into the bar and tells the bartender "Ill give you 500 bucks if yer Octopus can play these bagpipes" Bartender says "You're on!" and sets the bagpipes down in front of the Octopus.

Octopus looks at the bagpipes and starts touching them all over.....this goes on for a very long time and no sound is coming out so the bartender nudges the Octopus and says "Are you gonna play those damned things or not?" The Octopus looks up at him with a confused look on his face and says "Play her? I'm going to have sex with her as soon as I can figure out how to get her pajamas off!"
 
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