It sounds *Crazy* to me.
I don't know one vape shop that doesn't encourage people to just hang around. Like seriously, they tend to get offended when I come in and i'm just like, I need that and head back out the door. One of the reasons I don't hang around is because I know i'd be tempted to purchase stuff the longer I was there. It's like a candy store only my mom and dad don't pay for it anymore, lol.
You spend more than enough to justify hanging out and even if you didn't -- I used to be in retail and sometimes would have people come and spend hours trying on stuff but not buying. There's no law against it.
It sounds like the issue is with the owner's wife and yes, I can imagine taking it personally because I would too. Not only do you make a high amount of purchases but you recommend them and probably bring them in more business.
I wouldn't be confrontational but I would say straight up that you don't see what the problem is since you're a loyal customer I'd also push for what they think an "acceptable" amount of hanging out is, and whether they're enforcing that on all guests of the store or just on you.. If she can't give you a straight answer, I'd very much threaten to take my business elsewhere, and as for Ryan, if the real issue is that he's spending time with you when he should be doing other things, that isn't your fault either. Ryan is a grown up with a job and he can make his own decisions, and they can be the bosses and take it up with him personally if there is indeed a problem. In any case, a guest does not need to be the reasoning for the problem. The problem would not be you, the problem would be Ryan not doing what they think he should be. And if his job is to mainly "man" the store, i'd imagine sometimes it gets slow. All retail has its low moments. I can count many nights where as a manager for a clothing store, we just sat around and talked or tried on outfits because there was nothing to do. Sometimes the bosses over me would get ...... and insist that one table wasn't folded perfectly but 9 times out of 10, they knew there was nothing to truly be done.
Personally, Kudos to you for being polite. Sounds like the owner's wife is the person with the real problem and I suspect the problem is more about Ryan than you.
PS; I realize this is like a month old and you've probably figured it out by now but I can't believe no one commented, so I thought I would comment.