G'day fellow Reonuts:
First chance to get on the computer since the Great Vape Bash and Food Tasting Extravaganza in Ardmore. For those of you who didn't get to attend and are wondering if it would have been worth the effort let me assure you that you would not have been disappointed. (Okay, I was there so it goes without saying that you would have had a better time if I hadn't made an appearance but even so you missed out on meeting a group of interesting, intelligent, creative and fun people... along with a foreigner and a SMURF, although no one has yet explained to me why this particular SMURF wasn't blue but I assume it had something to do with the flatland. Apparently their color is dependent on altitude.
Not being one that's much for parties or social gathering I went into with the pleasure bar set rather low, that being that if I didn't kill anybody I'd consider the event a success. I'm happy to report that I didn't kill anybody, (the thought of killing Clyde crossed my mind several times, not because I don't like him, on the contrary I found him to be most intelligent, humorous, knowledgeable about vaper subjects to the nth degree and in general an absolute pleasure to spend time with, I just thought about killing him because he's a lawyer and it'd be fun to kill a lawyer. I look at it as a public service), to the contrary, I found that I had an absolutely enjoyable time.
There are those who may feel that I am exaggerating the pleasant experience because they know Kay was there but you must take into account that I am used to operating under adverse conditions and am able to make the best of hazardous conditions.
In truth, Kay added an element to the festivities that simply couldn't have been achieved by anybody but... well, Kay. It just wouldn't have been the same without her, although after the second visit from the Park Rangers and one visit from the local police department we did need to have a quiet talk with her. Some might call it an intervention but I hesitate to go that far. Once we were able to disarm her and throw the bullets in the lake the rest of the weekend went relatively smoothly... relatively.
Scott showed up dressed as a billboard what with his Reosmods.com T-shirt and towing a little red wagon with a blinking neon sign that read; WINNERS SUCK ON A REO! (I'm not sure that was Robert approved but it pretty much got the point across. I think it would have been just a tad more effective if he hadn't spent the entire day
vaping on an e-Go T but then again you people know how I feel about flatlanders so maybe that was normal.) I will tell ya one thing, that man can wrap a hell of a coil and do it in about 12 seconds, the only problem is he'd refuse to give you back your
rba after he wrapped the coil. I lost 4 ERA's before I caught on to his little scheme. (Anybody have any ERA's they wanna sell?)
As much fun as everyone was having there was one constant complaint that tended to but a damper on things... the glare from Rob's, (Ratman), head kept giving everyone a headache. Yes, yes, he is my kind of guy, a real man, (well, as close as you can get to one while still being a flatlander), and engaging enough to spend an entire weekend with without getting bored but that damn glare has got to go. Perhaps we could take up some sort of collection and buy him a hat, or at least enough paint to coat his dome.
I did notice one flaw in Ratman's character though, he is less than 100% truthful. We talked about his public profession but he neglected to say anything about his extraordinary talent in the world of magic. He probably thought that I wouldn't figure out his little secret but it is obvious to even the most casual observer. One merely has to glance at his beautiful and gracious wife, Julie, and know that the only way he could of attracted her is through magic... most likely Black Magic. (It's such a pity... she could have do so much better. Some mysteries in life just can't be explained.)
One of the highlights was getting to meet JCOkie, (Jan). It is rare, nay, it is unheard of for a beautiful AND intelligent woman to actually remain in the same building with me much less actually talk to me. (Perhaps she was sick and having an off day.) I absolutely, thoroughly enjoyed talking with Jan, a purveyor of knowledge to the mush minded youth of Oklahoma. (Had I had teachers that looked like that when I was in school I'd have paid a lot more attention and not turned out to be the ignorant slug that I am. Is it too late to re-enroll?)
For those of you who think Trunker, (Jim), talks funny in print, you should hear him in real life... it's actually quite nice. There's something dignified about someone who speaks the Queen's English and still get's his point across... albeit it make take him seven or eight times to make himself understood it still added class to the joint. Of course all of us guys would have been happy to have just sat there and stared at it beautiful wife, (SMURF or HRH, take your pick), but Trunker insisted on distracting us by talking. Rud damn foreigner.
Lest you think I forgot, we have our dear Feisty Alice. For those of you who have not yet had the pleasure of meeting her may I suggest that a journey of a thousand miles, crawling naked, over broken glass would not be too high a price to pay. (I might suggest either flying or driving but crawling over the broken glass will still get you there.)
Alice, and Kay, made it easy for us all to have an outstanding time. Lets face it, Clyde came up with the idea and Alice ran with it. (Pretty normal, lawyers point out a problem, let other people find the solution then they end up taking credit for it by charging you 33!/3%. That'll buy a lot of wick and wire.)
Alice behaved herself for most of the weekend, that is until one of the Canadian Geese that frequented the floating dock decided to honk all night whilst we humans were trying to get some sleep. I must say that I way a little taken aback when our animal loving Alice, replete in leopard skin bathrobe, (Real fur, not faux), and fuzzy rabbit skin slippers stormed out of her bedroom, threw open the glass door, pulled a small caliber pistol from her bra holster and blew that stupid goose right out of his little webbed feet. (I was proud of her... and the goose was delicious.)
So, if the occasion should arise that you have the opportunity to attend a Reo Vape Meet, make every effort to do so, if it is anything like the one I had the pleasure of attending you'll be very glad you did.
Oh, BTW... has anyone seen my Koa Reo... I seem to have misplaced it. All I remember is I set it down then some intense glare blinded me and when my vision cleared I couldn't find it. Must have been sun spots.
Jack