Damn you are far too brilliantly intellectual for me. I too was facing issues over two nostrils, and ten fingers. Now, after years of concern over wasted fingers I can finally sleep well knowing the answer.
Wait, now I recall another terrible issue. I have two ear holes but only one mouth hole. I bet you might have an answer for that as well. I have always been told so I could listen twice as much as talk, but I know that can not be true. There has to be some grand esoteric reasoning for it. Could it be to allow aliens easier access to our brains? I will wait your answer.
Who said a mouth is for talking?