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Mountain Oak Vapors - "Mother's Day Contest - Part 2" Go Go Go!
- Thread starter LeDean
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Well this one is taking quite a bit longer than the 1st one 
Good morning and Happy Mother's Day!
Good morning and Happy Mother's Day!
For your amusement.
A handful of women were interviewed on Mother's Day to find out what motherhood had taught them. They gave these answers:
*A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.
*A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
*When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh' , it's already too late.
*Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
Note: 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
*A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
* Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old child.
*Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
*Super glue is forever.
*No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Note: Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
*Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
*Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
*You probably DO NOT want to know what that smell is.
*The fire department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.
*The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Note:Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
What My Mother Taught Me - Writer Unknown
My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
A handful of women were interviewed on Mother's Day to find out what motherhood had taught them. They gave these answers:
*A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.
*A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
*When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh' , it's already too late.
*Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
Note: 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
*A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
* Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old child.
*Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
*Super glue is forever.
*No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Note: Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
*Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
*Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
*You probably DO NOT want to know what that smell is.
*The fire department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.
*The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Note:Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
What My Mother Taught Me - Writer Unknown
My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
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Lolol love it! I always cringe when I catch myself saying "child I love you but I really don't like you right now!" That's how my mom said it. I try to say "don't like your behavior\attitude" but it doesn't always work lol.
I think the real Justice for our mothers is the fact that we inevitably end up just like them. My mom makes fun of things I say to my kids. "You sound just like me!!!" I try to deny it, but I know it's true. I secretly love it.
Happy Mother's Day! The Mom Song - I LOVE this lady!
Things a mother says in a 24-hour period, condensed.
Things a mother says in a 24-hour period, condensed.
So besides mother day activities what else we going to do tonight? Anything fun or exciting?
nothin' fun around here. Just the usual day with the kids. I have a 3 year old 2 year old, and 6 month old so getting out and about for mother's Day isn't an option. Hopefully I can win this contest since the Hubby didn't get me a Mother's Day gift....again. He said I can buy something for myself. 
Some men just don't get it.
He said I can buy something for myself. Some men just don't get it. 
My gf wants to watch "The Vow" so I will be chick flickin it... At least Rachel Mcadams is worth looking at for 2 hours...
Karla my husband is the exact same way. Then he wants to get all confused when I mention that it upsets me.
I am finally home from work, preparing to settle in for the rarest of special occasion gifts... A NAP!!!
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