Need advice: Family persuasion to kick the habit?

[DeviantDigi]

Greetings,
I come from a rather large family. I have 5 siblings, I'm the only boy. Growing up, our mother was a pretty heavy smoker. Of course, we all grew into the habit. We used to steal my moms cigs, by the pack, daily lol. I was a smoker from age 13-17. Gadly, I kicked the habit about 8 years ago by switching to e cigs. But my sisters refuse.

What really saddens me is all but 1, have children. Ranging from 1-5 per! Anywhere between 2 moths and 6 years old. For a stretch, it seemed like there was a new family member ever other month lol. I know if they don't quit smoking, their children will. Let alone their fate, as our family has genetic heart problems from our mother.

Now my grandfather and I (he is not a vaper or smoker), have tried to persuade and inform them about e cigs. We have bought them all multiple 510 kits, juices and whatnot over the years. I recently bought the most promising sister an Ego VV kit with the Vison tank cartos. But they seem to stick with it only for a couple of days. Only using it because out of guilt and promise. Eventually the guilt wears off and they're back to cigs. I figured if they all used them at once there would be a connection between them to continue with e cigs. The don't seem to dislike the use/taste of e cigs though. So there has to be some hope.

So, I need some advice. If influence, proper info, threats and e cig gear doesn't seem to do the trick. What else could one suggest? I can't accept the idea of giving up on family, I just have no other ideas.

If you have persuaded anyone to switch outside of what I have already tried, how did you do it?

Many thanks,
deviantdigi

 

[ImThatGuy]

Honestly you can't force someone to switch. And for the switch to be successful one has to want it to be. One way I can think of to persuade them to switch is to treat them like pets (yeah harsh, but it maybe effective). Give them negative reinforcement everytime they light one up. Keep at it. Don't stray from those negative reinforcements or it will give them the opportunity to think it's okay. Of course, give them some positive reinforcement by showing them you as an example. Showing them some examples how you have benefited from vaping. The tough part about vaping is the maintenance that go along with it, but the benefits do outweigh those little quirks of maintenance.

Good luck in your quest for to be the fuhrer of your family...

 

[TheSneakerHoarder]

Some people just will not embrace change--let sleeping dogs lie.

You can try until you are blue in the face, but at the end of the day they need to make the choice, not you.

 

[sherid]

Being a nag about it is likely to backfire. No one wants to be prodded or guilted into doing something they are not ready or willing to do. You can always lead by example, and maybe one of them will become interested. If not, that is their choice, and we all have the right and the need to make our own choices, even the bad ones.

 

[the_vape_nerd]

agreeing with others here, you've tried...now give up and quit pestering people...smoking is a bad habit but so are things like donuts, beer, sodas, swearing too much or drinking a lot of coffee

YOU were a smoker...they arent bad people because they continue to smoke

 

[DeviantDigi]

Thanks for your opinions!

I did try my best to provide positive reinforcement and support when my sisters did use e cigs. The negative on the other hand is rather hard to accomplish as they all smoke, are 24+ years old and they all don't live near me. And stubborn headed as all hell thanks to my father XD.

But by no means did I nag them about it. The products I gifted them were shipped to their addresses with a note saying they could call me if they had any questions. Which they did, and gave thanks.

If your family member was holding their child, walking across a high tight rope. Would you not do what you could to make them do otherwise? That's all, if anyone has a suggestion. I'm all ears.

 

[TheSneakerHoarder]

Just be there when they inevitably (or hopefully) come to you with more questions. I find that the more one can listen, the louder their voice can be.

 

[KuroCz]

Sounds like you've done what you can for them. As others have said, it's thier choice if they want to continue to smoke. I understand your concern, but the tightrope analogy doesn't cut it, since going out driving is imho more dangerous than smoking from an immediate danger perspective.

Now, I can't recall the clinical term for it. But patients in hospitals very often will not listen to family members, even when they are advising someone to do, exactly the same thing the doctor instructed them to do. This is a clinical phenominon that has a name. If you talk to an ICU nurse, they'll verify this.

In looking at your situation this way, since you've already spoken with them and given them the tools they'd need, you are the last person that would be successful in having them switch to vaping. When the subject arises again, don't try and answer all their questions, even if you know the answers. Direct them here, so they can get answers and adivce from people they won't be subconciously opposed to. Don't try to save them, put them in a better postion to save themselves, is a better way to look at it imho.

 

[zuzette]

the nieces and nephews might not grow up to smoke. its not a given. social pressure can be stronger than parental influence. just keep setting a good example for them.

 

[SuziesMom]

It's an addiction...I've watched my brother drink himself silly, lose one good woman, almost lose another wife, his kids, house etc. because he just couldn't stop. He's on the wagon now, but for how long- who knows.

It's agonizing to watch it happen, but they have to come to terms with their addiction and quit in their own time. You can be informative, and supportive, but as I learned in Al-Anon you didn't cause it, and you can't control it. There's no "if I just did xyz hey'd stop"- you can't control it.

My brother knows if he said the word I'd be over at his house with gear and a gallon of juice in a flash, but he's smoking his pipe and there really isn't anything else I can do about it.

 

[DC2]

These are the people that will be motivated to switch to electronic cigarettes...

A) Those who absolutely NEED to stop spending so much money on cigarettes
B) Those that are very much afraid of developing serious health issues if they keep smoking
C) Those that don't want to stink anymore
D) Those that understand vaping can taste 1000% better than smoking

If they don't fall into any of those categories, they probably have no desire to switch.

If they do fall into one of those categories, then this is what you can maybe do...

A) Show them exactly what to buy and how much money it can save them
B) Serve as an example of how vaping has improved your health
C) Not much you can do here, they probably don't realize they stink
D) Let them try yours until they find a flavor they just love

 

[wonderland]

i can see how much you care about your family and how frustrating it must be to know you have a great solution for them that they aren't willing to work with.
sometimes we have to discover things for ourselves for them to really stick. here's myself as an example:
my closest friend has been smoking her whole life (she's fifteen years older than i am and we have always enjoyed smoking together). for quite awhile she has talked off and on about wanting to switch to e-cigs but i never really gave it any real thought for myself. she got one at one point and enjoyed it, but then put it down again. she'd bring it back up and i'd say, "uh, yeah, that sounds great. uh-hu."
it's a year or more later now and i stumble across e-cigs and this forum myself and instantly give up smoking. i call her super excited about it all now and have to apologize for not REALLY listening to her before. i helped get her started since she already had the motivation and now we're all happily vaping and smoke-free. but if i had listened to her from the start i would be a year cigarette-free now instead of three weeks.
sometimes people just have to hit that moment all on their own and then you can be there to offer support and encouragement. since they all have children, i'm guessing that they will hit that point someday. i know the waiting is insufferably hard sometimes.

 

[recidivus]

I'm kind of in the same boat with my wife, but told her early on I wouldn't pressure her to give up smoking. You have to understand it's their choice in the end. A lot of people push back double-force the more you push. I know when I was smoking and didn't want to stop, if someone told me I should quit it just made me want to light another. Which is what I normally did.

I, personally, made the switch the moment my liquid arrived because I wanted to stop (and unsuccessfully tried) for months previous. It was completely my decision though, no outside force made me want to do it.

The most you can do is what you have already done. If they have no desire to actually stop smoking at all then nothing you can do or say will make them. You can offer support and guidance, if they want they will ask on their own and you can be there when they do.

 

[RosaJ]

Coercing and condescending behavior is not going to win anyone over to your way of thinking. I smoked for 40 years and resented ANYONE, family or strangers, telling me that they were only thinking of my welfare. What I resented most was being treated as a ....... Sorry, I get carried away with this subject.

Treat them as adults and respect their freedom to make their own decisions and tell them you love them whether they smoke or not. Just continue to vape when you're in their company and always bring extra drip tips and flavors in case they want to try it while you're there.

Good luck, congratulations on switching to vaping!

 

[Butters78]

Lead by example.. Show them how happy you are and how better you are feeling and maybe one day they'll become interested.

Oh and every time you take a vape cue your cell phone to play the Laverne and Shirley theme song with a press of a button. Subconsciously they will want to vape.

 

[Rickajho]

"...for the children!" or "With the children!" or "By the children!" Those little buggers can be the biggest guilt inducing devices out there. Get to them through the kids!

Seriously, no one will quit if they have no motivation to do so. For some people it's a health matter. Other people get fed up with the trap of the addictive behavior. Then there's the insane amount of money smoking costs today, the social stigma, health insurance premium penalties, loss of employment opportunities, zero tolerance clauses in leases and condo rules... Until they find a reason to want to quit you are only risking your relationship with them by pushing the issue.

But about those kids... Some times they can be the biggest motivator. All it takes is a young'un pleading "Mommy I don't want you to die!" to really push the buttons hard. Young kids are a lot more onto this issue than you may think, especially with how hard the anti smoking propaganda campaign is pushed at kids. If any of their children haven't confronted them about smoking yet I would really be surprised. I would be equally surprised if the kids only mentioned it once. Don't pimp the kids on this. But if they can't find a reason to quit for themselves, and won't do it either if their kids are on them about it, I don't have a good answer for you.

 

[DC2]

Oh and every time you take a vape cue your cell phone to play the Laverne and Shirley theme song with a press of a button. Subconsciously they will want to vape.

Schlemiel schlemazel?

 

[otrpu]

I know, it's frustrating. Every year I give everybody in my family that smokes a starter eCig kit. Every year they all give them back to me. I'm the eldest of 5. Smoked tobacco for more than 52 years. When I first accidentally found out about eCigs I was thrilled. From my first drag off that crude BLU I knew it would be easy for me to switch over to eCigs. About a year ago I decided to drop the Cinnamon Flavor out of my DIY eLiguid. Accidentally. . .at the same time I also left the nicotine out of that blend batch. I contend after smoking tobacco for more than 52 years I ACCIDENTALLY quit smoking. Now my eLiquid is just 75%VG/25%PG. It's just satisfying my hand to mouth oral gratification now. I believe this would work for at least half the people using eCigs if they would give it a try. And my eLiquid expense is out three decimals now to .006 p/mL. For this to work they've gotta wanna. JMHO

Cheers,
otrpu

 

[nebulas]

It took 1.5 years for me to get my family to switch. I didn't nag them. I just minded my own business enjoying my vape. I would answer questions when they asked. Eventually, they got to the point it seemed like they really wanted to do it. I know the initial startup cost can be discouraging so I purchased an eGo kit for my mother and a LT for my father and gave it to them as gifts. Once they had the devices, they were off and eagerly exploring the world of vaping for themselves.

 

[Algerhugz]

Sounds like you've done what you can for them. As others have said, it's thier choice if they want to continue to smoke. I understand your concern, but the tightrope analogy doesn't cut it, since going out driving is imho more dangerous than smoking from an immediate danger perspective.

Now, I can't recall the clinical term for it. But patients in hospitals very often will not listen to family members, even when they are advising someone to do, exactly the same thing the doctor instructed them to do. This is a clinical phenominon that has a name. If you talk to an ICU nurse, they'll verify this.

In looking at your situation this way, since you've already spoken with them and given them the tools they'd need, you are the last person that would be successful in having them switch to vaping. When the subject arises again, don't try and answer all their questions, even if you know the answers. Direct them here, so they can get answers and adivce from people they won't be subconciously opposed to. Don't try to save them, put them in a better postion to save themselves, is a better way to look at it imho.

This is so true I deal with this all the time with medical issues with my mother. My sister and I will tell her something we saw or read about something but she won't listen to us but if someone else tells her the exact same thing she does it.

So this may be some of the best advice here. Yes be supportive when they come to you for answers but maybe don't tell them everything you know and point them to ECF or youtube videos. Possibly once they see others saying the same thing as you they will be more open to trying/sticking with it. Especially if your family is in an area where Ecigs arent in the main stream and they don't see anyone else vaping. I really think getting them tuned into ECF or even some videos or something along those lines so they see its not just you could help. In the mean time like others have said I don't think that negativity is the proper way to go about it either because they will then just tend to slip away from what you have to say even more.