(not a) zombie video review contest entry

[CES]

so, this isn't really a contest entry- since i never actually filmed it... but here's what i would have done if i did. if anyone else has something they 'woulda done'...or even better a REAL entry- feel free to post it here

Black screen
Sounds of heavy awkward footsteps in background…
THUD, BUMP, DRAG, PLOP, THUD

Fade in to first see purple light flashing quickly in the dark

Gradually increase light to resolve girl curled in corner, rusty axe next to her,
shaking, mumbling, furiously vaping a Hendu

“oh no no no no”
girl pauses shaking and mumbling …….looks up, looks at e-cig

“mmmmm really good menthol”

cut away to close up of moving eyes- moving zombie eyes
Pull camera back to show zombie sniffing (half of nose is gone) while plumes of vapor float by

garbled zombie voice
“lights? smoke? Brains nearby?.......uhh, no smell nothing….must find BRAINZ”
zombie turns looking,

As zombie turns slow pan of camera to show that he has his back to the girl.
She jumps up, still vaping furiously…

[insert fight sounds….batman style fight images POW- BOOM-ZAP – THUD-PLOP]
zombie head lying on floor- disconnected hand twitches once and stops….

End with girl standing holding gooey axe in one hand, pristine Hendu on the other.
vaping slowly and smiling.


Screen fills with vapor….and fade out

 

[shoey]

do you have a producer yet? --George

 

[CES]

ummm... nope....would a zombie producer want to change the happy ending?

 

[shoey]

probably change just the menthol and add a few zombies.

 

[lorikay13]

I don't know.....would the Menthol cover up Zombie breath?

 

[CES]

It might take something a bit stronger than menthol....

 

[shoey]

back in a past life when i was working on the pyramids none of us zombies had mints so i think we should remember us in our prayers. stanky stanky.

 

[CES]

so was that a past life or a past undeath? do ya think that any of the zombies are still hanging out in the pyramids- preying on unsuspecting tourists?

 

[shoey]

first i must protest any label put on us more derogatory than "not exactly living". as a biologist i would think you'd be sensitive in these matters.

 

[CES]

undead is not derogatory. and it's much more accurate that not-exactly-living. Holy PC zombies batman.

 

[shoey]

bold words, professor. so we can infer you are prepared to submit your conclusions at the next zombie council meeting?

 

[lorikay13]

undead is not derogatory. and it's much more accurate that not-exactly-living. Holy PC zombies batman.

RFLMAO!!!! hehe....PC zombies.....is that an oxymoron ? Or just a 21st century lexicon?

 

[CES]

oxymoron. if we get too PC how're we gonna differentiate the true undead from the rest of the "not exactly living"

just sayin...