Puzzled

[Girl4givn]

I got a comment like that from my 19 and 13-year-old daughters. You know, the "you haven't really quit" comment. It really inflamed me. My 19-year-old even said "do you realize how ridiculous that looks?" (talking about vaping). But it was really funny, when I told them that fine, I would just go back to the cigarettes, they both changed their tunes a lot.

I don't know why some people have to be that way, but if you're happy with it, that's what counts. I know after smoking for 27 years, it was highly unlikely that I would ever know what it was like to go a day without a cigarette. Now, I have hope - feel like I have been freed from a prison. You go girl! Don't worry about what your roomy says!

 

[Seabrook]

Perhaps Torrid has a point in suggesting that she no longer has a control tool. I never thought of it that way, but some people do like to be able to control others, even if they do it subconsciously.

 

[Cynnamin]

It is very incredible how much people feel the need to control other people. It was my first reaction when I read your story - especially since you've know each other for so long!

 

[Aresi]

Oh there's plenty of other things she bribes me with now. Soda, snacks, etc. Smokes were just the expensive thing that I always needed. I say bribe, but really it's her just sayin "thanks" for doing something for her. She doesn't smoke, never has. We're complete opposites of eachother. Sometimes it's amazing we haven't killed eachother yet.

 

[Seabrook]

LOL, sometimes opposites complment each other. Keep her -- it nourishes the spirit to have someone you call a best friend.

 

[Cynnamin]

Oh there's plenty of other things she bribes me with now. Soda, snacks, etc. Smokes were just the expensive thing that I always needed. I say bribe, but really it's her just sayin "thanks" for doing something for her. She doesn't smoke, never has. We're complete opposites of eachother. Sometimes it's amazing we haven't killed eachother yet.

Ahh good! Glad then that I was incorrect in my initial assessment about the relationship. Close friends are very important and I hope that soon she can be proud and supportive of your choice!

 

[JazzBaby]

Okay, here's my situation.

I smoked for about 10 years. I know not long, I had a two year break in there, so about 8 years total. My roomie hated it. I couldn't smoke in the apartment or car. If she got in the car after I'd had a cig outside the car she'd wrinkle her nose and tell me I stink. But she always bribed me to do things for her with packs of smokes. I've known my roomie for, well, over a decade. We went to middle and high school together. We consider eachother sisters.

3 weeks ago I got my first e-cig kit. She was skeptical of it. I can vape in the house, but not in the car. (Technically it's her car anyway. I'm just the only one of us with a licence.) Fine, I vape in the car anyway, she hasn't noticed. She STILL gives me grief about it, saying I haven't really quit smoking, I've just taken up another habit. Yes, I still get the nicotine. I've shown her my cig. I've told her what's in the juice. I mentioned it to one of her co-workers who needs a ride this week to work. She grumbled a bit about it, and how I haven't really quit smoking.

It bugs me that she still gives me grief over 'smoking'. I don't know what to do, what I can tell her to make her realize, this is a big thing. A Major Deal. My boyfriend is happy, heck, my grandparents are happy. Why can't she be happy?

Hello, Aresi.
I know I am a newbie to this forum...and I hate to just jump in on a personal thread like this...but I'm so angry (at your situation)...I cannot help myself.
Aresi, a true friend would NEVER bribe you with something which is ruining your health....something which is bad for you. Your friend seems to have had a bargaining tool. She could use ciggies to get you to do things...and she could abuse you about how you smelled, etc..
Now...she has nothing with which to bribe you...and apparently her putting down the e-cigs and telling you that you haven't really quit is her new way of putting you down.
Maybe it's time you sat down with her and asked her what is REALLY eating at her -- what is REALLY her problem with you and what you are doing.
Quitting cigarettes is a big deal. Pats on the back to you, dear.
Don't let this woman control how you may feel about all of this. Analyze just what is going down in your relationship...and make other positive changes in your life. Make yourself a happier and healthier person. You deserve it, dear.

 

[JazzBaby]

I'm sorry. I missed some of the posts on the last page.
Please forgive me if I posted anything which might have cast your friend in an unusual light.
Congrats on all you have done, girl!

 

[Mary Kay]

Hi jazz, Welcome to the Women's Room. Several of made the same error in sizing up the situation. No sweat.
Now she bribes Aresi with other stuff...cool. Hopefully she will come to understand what a brave smart move Aresi made in switching to E-cigs. At least with those you stand a reasonable chance of quitting with ease at some point.

 

[MissKitty47]

Most people are resistant to change, even GOOD changes. It makes people uncomfortable and makes them wonder if they will be required to change as well. Since this thread is almost a month old, I'm hoping she has changed her tune for you. Since the two of you literally grew up together, she's used to you behaving in one way, and you switched it up on her, that's all. I'll bet she brags about you behind your back!!

 

[Mary Kay]

Kitty, My hubby has tried and tried vaping..he is just to invested in smoking I guess..at times he gets on my last nerve about vaping. Then he turns around and tells people about it, how well I am doing and wants me to give them cards..meanwhile he has an analog in his hand...men!

 

[MissKitty47]

Mary Kay

People are so funny! Esp our hubbys. I'm very lucky to have mine joining me on this adventure. He's still using snus, but has cut down so dramatically. A tin used to only last him a day, now it's lasting a week! Today is 50 days for me, other than a handfull of cheats, which I don't beat myself up about. He was almost as proud of me as I am, and that felt so good. My folks and kids have been 100% behind me, as well. But my best friend since age 9 is NOT!? Go figure...I think its because she doesn't like that I found ecigs first and therefore, they don't work. GRR! But, I've known her personality for over ...gosh, a long time, lol! It makes me feel so old to think about how long we've known each other...but she's just kinda like that.

One thing I know for sure, EVERY person at ECF has been so warm, welcoming, eager to help me succeed! I'd never 'bothered' with a support group on my past quit attempts, and unwittingly I have landed in the middle of the worlds largest! Thank you all, again and again, for the love, the warm fuzzies, and the chance to help others. It makes it all so worthwhile, other than the physical/health issues that are improved. Sometimes it takes connecting to other like-minded people to really make life work. *does happy dance while feet not touching floor*

 

[Seabrook]

MissKitty, you are so cute! I'm glad you're here with us! I feel the same way about how everyone has been so warm and supportive when I started vaping. I was just absolutely clueless until I found ECF by googling the e-cig I saw advertised somewhere. 50 days is greatttt!!!

 

[MissKitty47]

Thanks, Seabrook! I am so happy to be here! Gosh, and I've LOST weight! I feel like this is almost too easy...not that I'm complaining, lol! It feels so good to feel good!

 

[classwife]

sigh....it's very good !

 

[Seabrook]

I lost a lost of weight at first too since I began vaping in spring. Then before I knew it, oops, it was winter, and I stayed home, cuddled up w/the pups and started in on my comfort foods. Here it is spring again, so I'm looking forward to losing a lot again.

 

[Fudgey]

Gained 15 lbs when my taste buds returned. I am now trying to get it off and it is hard because everthing taste so dang good!!!

 

[MissKitty47]

I am surprised my tastebuds are even still alive! We had some fresh berries over the weekend, raspberries and blueberries...WOW! They were the best tasting berries I've had in, well...34 years! I hope I do gain a little, as with my disabilities, I tend to end up in the hospital..hey, now I can VAPE whilst hooked to all that horrible equipment! I didn't even think of that part. They've just gotten used to "that lady who insists on smoking and dragging her IV pole all over creation." You just made my day, Fudgey! Thanks for sparking the ol' noggin!

 

[Fudgey]

I am surprised my tastebuds are even still alive! We had some fresh berries over the weekend, raspberries and blueberries...WOW! They were the best tasting berries I've had in, well...34 years! I hope I do gain a little, as with my disabilities, I tend to end up in the hospital..hey, now I can VAPE whilst hooked to all that horrible equipment! I didn't even think of that part. They've just gotten used to "that lady who insists on smoking and dragging her IV pole all over creation." You just made my day, Fudgey! Thanks for sparking the ol' noggin!

You are very welcome!!!!

 

[WomanOfHeart]

I've gained a bit of weight...well...in my opinion it's more than a bit since I started vaping. I'm a stress eater and my stress levels have been running on high for a couple of months! I figured since I have some extra money now and I'm not smoking that I might as well join the gym. I even got a few sessions with a personal trainer! I hope to drop at least 30lbs by June and look good in a corset for Renaissance Festival!