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It was a miserable out, one of those truly nasty days half snow, half rain, with just enough wind to blow it all sideways. Smack into Miss. Condrey's already red wind burnt cheeks, the cold seemed to bite at her very bones as she hasten along the side of the road. She was tempted to stop in a coffee shop to warm up, but she couldn't be late again. The children were waiting for her to arrive and she dared not disappoint them again. The image of their faces in her mind drove her onward.
The children were her life. Having never married, she devoted herself to them. But trying to keep up the bills to keep them all together was getting more and more difficlut.
In her hurries to get home she did not notice someone following so closely behind. The weather against her, the bills weighing her down, all she was thinking was where am I getting our next meal from. She stopped with a startle and looked up. There in front of her, bigger than life......
Was a zombie. Good lord why do zombies always pop up on such dreary days. She took her 45 from her purse and.......
As she raised the gun, trembling, she took aim. Suddenly stepping out of the shadows, that who had been following....
grabbed her and pulled her to safety. He said that if she had shot that zombie, his blood would have contaminated the entire area. She looked into his eyes and....
She realized it was David Freakin' Hasselhoff! Why does this guy just show up out of nowhere! She wondered if that was a Whopper she smelled on his breath...or a cheeseburger. My god is he ever sober? But yet runk as he was he still managed to ...
give that cute little smile that he had so long ago. Back before the zombies overtook his mind...only to return it to him scrambled and confused.
So she pulled the trigger bang! Bang! It was then she realized her paranoid husdand had loaded the gun with blanks. Yet the horror wasn't over -- zombie Pamela Anderson was at her back! Moaning "Tommy, Tommy" she closed in.
As she approached Miss Condrey, some photo negatives fell from one of the skin flaps on Pamela's festering body. Amid the commotion, Miss Condrey picked them up and ran from her attackers. Once she made it to safety she....
realized Davids breath had made her hungry so she started eating the very flesh from Pamelas body when she fell to the ground and uttered abda abda abda thats all folks.
But that wasn't all. The putrid taste from Pamela reminded her of a nasty vaping juice she got from a not so reputable vendor. This made her so angry that she decided to take on the whole zombie clan by herself, if need be. She needed a plan to take them down and she remembered the photos that had fallen, perhaps an idea could be found there. Sorting through what looked like the clan's vacation pics from Barbados, to her horror among them she saw the evil voodoo doctor controlling them all, someone she knew all too well.
Seeing the voodoo doctor only steeled her resolve to battle the evil dead. Rummaging through her bag she felt a ray of hope as she realized she was carrying a Lox taser mod -- if it could atomize rancid liquid, surely it could be used on a zombie!
It was a miserable out, one of those truly nasty days half snow, half rain, with just enough wind to blow it all sideways. Smack into Miss. Condrey's already red wind burnt cheeks, the cold seemed to bite at her very bones as she hasten along the side of the road. She was tempted to stop in a coffee shop to warm up, but she couldn't be late again. The children were waiting for her to arrive and she dared not disappoint them again. The image of their faces in her mind drove her onward.
The children were her life. Having never married, she devoted herself to them. But trying to keep up the bills to keep them all together was getting more and more difficlut.
In her hurries to get home she did not notice someone following so closely behind. The weather against her, the bills weighing her down, all she was thinking was where am I getting our next meal from. She stopped with a startle and looked up. There in front of her, bigger than life......
Was a zombie. Good lord why do zombies always pop up on such dreary days. She took her 45 from her purse and.......
As she raised the gun, trembling, she took aim. Suddenly stepping out of the shadows, that who had been following....
grabbed her and pulled her to safety. He said that if she had shot that zombie, his blood would have contaminated the entire area. She looked into his eyes and....
She realized it was David Freakin' Hasselhoff! Why does this guy just show up out of nowhere! She wondered if that was a Whopper she smelled on his breath...or a cheeseburger. My god is he ever sober? But yet runk as he was he still managed to ...
give that cute little smile that he had so long ago. Back before the zombies overtook his mind...only to return it to him scrambled and confused.
So she pulled the trigger bang! Bang! It was then she realized her paranoid husdand had loaded the gun with blanks. Yet the horror wasn't over -- zombie Pamela Anderson was at her back! Moaning "Tommy, Tommy" she closed in.
As she approached Miss Condrey, some photo negatives fell from one of the skin flaps on Pamela's festering body. Amid the commotion, Miss Condrey picked them up and ran from her attackers. Once she made it to safety she....
realized Davids breath had made her hungry so she started eating the very flesh from Pamelas body when she fell to the ground and uttered abda abda abda thats all folks.
But that wasn't all. The putrid taste from Pamela reminded her of a nasty vaping juice she got from a not so reputable vendor. This made her so angry that she decided to take on the whole zombie clan by herself, if need be. She needed a plan to take them down and she remembered the photos that had fallen, perhaps an idea could be found there. Sorting through what looked like the clan's vacation pics from Barbados, to her horror among them she saw the evil voodoo doctor controlling them all, someone she knew all too well.
Seeing the voodoo doctor only steeled her resolve to battle the evil dead. Rummaging through her bag she felt a ray of hope as she realized she was carrying a Lox taser mod -- if it could atomize rancid liquid, surely it could be used on a zombie!
