Okay, I know, what a non-issue right? Yeah, wrong.
Look, proponents of teddy bears would have you believe they're not dangerous, unlike actual, living bears. "They don't have actual internal organs!" they say, "Just stuffing! It's totally different. Teddy bears aren't the least bit dangerous." But they fail to point out that there isn't a single scientific study showing that teddy bears aren't as likely to maul you as an actual bear. What's worse, if a teddy bear was lit on fire, it could burn someone or emit toxic fumes. Sure, the teady bear proponents say teddy bears aren't meant to be lit on fire. But still, can we really discount all that potential harm to teddy bear owners and innocent bystanders? I don't think so.
The problem with teddy bears is they renormalize bear ownership. It's been commonly accepted in our society for decades now that you leave you bear outside. Obviously you shouldn't own a bear at all but if you insist on owning a bear despite the high excise taxes and great personal risk to yourself, you tie that bear up 100 feet away from the building at least. Meanwhile people are bringing their teddy bears right into their workplaces and schools! Like they're not even ashamed of the fact that they might get mauled or might get someone else mauled! Teddy bears are going to make actual bears "cool" again, and that is going to put a lot of people in danger.
What's most shameful is how the teddy bear industry targets children. You think adults want a bear with a multicolored bow tie and a little "press me and I roar like a real bear" option? Adults don't like things like candy and teddy bears - they're all about the real thing. But that stuff is designed to appeal to children. How could you deny it?
And by the way, bears stink. Let the bear owners and teddy bear owners who are no different than the bear owners deny it all they want but they stink, both of them equally. Because at the end of the day, any educated person will realize teddy bears are bears in sheep's clothing.
Look, proponents of teddy bears would have you believe they're not dangerous, unlike actual, living bears. "They don't have actual internal organs!" they say, "Just stuffing! It's totally different. Teddy bears aren't the least bit dangerous." But they fail to point out that there isn't a single scientific study showing that teddy bears aren't as likely to maul you as an actual bear. What's worse, if a teddy bear was lit on fire, it could burn someone or emit toxic fumes. Sure, the teady bear proponents say teddy bears aren't meant to be lit on fire. But still, can we really discount all that potential harm to teddy bear owners and innocent bystanders? I don't think so.
The problem with teddy bears is they renormalize bear ownership. It's been commonly accepted in our society for decades now that you leave you bear outside. Obviously you shouldn't own a bear at all but if you insist on owning a bear despite the high excise taxes and great personal risk to yourself, you tie that bear up 100 feet away from the building at least. Meanwhile people are bringing their teddy bears right into their workplaces and schools! Like they're not even ashamed of the fact that they might get mauled or might get someone else mauled! Teddy bears are going to make actual bears "cool" again, and that is going to put a lot of people in danger.
What's most shameful is how the teddy bear industry targets children. You think adults want a bear with a multicolored bow tie and a little "press me and I roar like a real bear" option? Adults don't like things like candy and teddy bears - they're all about the real thing. But that stuff is designed to appeal to children. How could you deny it?
And by the way, bears stink. Let the bear owners and teddy bear owners who are no different than the bear owners deny it all they want but they stink, both of them equally. Because at the end of the day, any educated person will realize teddy bears are bears in sheep's clothing.
