[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]From: tom on 10/31/2008 (S616b)[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Source: Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry - MiamiHerald.com[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1].[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]OK. You turned 50. You know you're supposed to get a colonoscopy.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]But you haven't. Here are your reasons:[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]1. You've been busy.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]2. You don't have a history of cancer in your family. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]3. You haven't noticed any problems.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]4. You don't want a doctor to stick[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]a tube 17,000 feet up your .....[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Let's examine these reasons one at a time. No, wait, let's not.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Because you and I both know that the only real reason is No. 4.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]This is natural. The idea of having another human, even a medical human, becoming deeply involved in what is technically known as[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]your ''behindular zone'' gives you the creeping willies.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Five years pass... I did nothing.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Five more years passed. I turned 60, and I still hadn't gotten a colonoscopy. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I got an e-mail from my brother Sam, who is 10 years younger than I am, but more mature.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]The email was addressed to me and my middle brother, Phil. It said:[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]``Dear Brothers,[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]``I went in for a routine colonoscopy and got the dreaded[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]diagnosis: cancer. We're told it's early and that there is[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]a good prognosis that they can get it all out, so, fingers[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]crossed, knock on wood, and all that. And of course they[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]told me to tell my siblings to get screened. I imagine you[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]both have.''[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1].[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Um. Well.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]First I called Sam. He was hopeful, but scared. We talked for[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]a while, and when we hung up, I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place,[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis ..[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=-2]Drawing from CrohnsDiseaseFocus.com[/SIZE][FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1].[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a pres-[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]cription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]basically water, only with less flavor.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]great sense of humor, state that after you drink it,'a loose watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle......................................[/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=-2]Photo from EarlKnight.com[/SIZE]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1].[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]eaten yet.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been exper-[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]iencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I under-[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]stood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=-2]Drawing from AlongPlumCreek.BlogSpot.com[/SIZE][FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good,[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I had[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]not thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]choice but to burn your house.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the pro-[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]cedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=-2]Photo from MercyNorthIowa.com[/SIZE][FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]to the needle in my hand.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]songs that could be playing during this particular procedure,[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than decade.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine and the next[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]mood.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]I have never been prouder of an internal organ.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Get er done, guys.
[SIZE=-2]Drawing from DCGastro.Website2go.com[/SIZE][FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]...[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1].[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]OK. You turned 50. You know you're supposed to get a colonoscopy.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]But you haven't. Here are your reasons:[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]1. You've been busy.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]2. You don't have a history of cancer in your family. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]3. You haven't noticed any problems.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]4. You don't want a doctor to stick[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]a tube 17,000 feet up your .....[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Let's examine these reasons one at a time. No, wait, let's not.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Because you and I both know that the only real reason is No. 4.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]This is natural. The idea of having another human, even a medical human, becoming deeply involved in what is technically known as[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]your ''behindular zone'' gives you the creeping willies.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Five years pass... I did nothing.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Five more years passed. I turned 60, and I still hadn't gotten a colonoscopy. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I got an e-mail from my brother Sam, who is 10 years younger than I am, but more mature.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]The email was addressed to me and my middle brother, Phil. It said:[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]``Dear Brothers,[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]``I went in for a routine colonoscopy and got the dreaded[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]diagnosis: cancer. We're told it's early and that there is[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]a good prognosis that they can get it all out, so, fingers[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]crossed, knock on wood, and all that. And of course they[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]told me to tell my siblings to get screened. I imagine you[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]both have.''[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1].[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Um. Well.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]First I called Sam. He was hopeful, but scared. We talked for[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]a while, and when we hung up, I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place,[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis ..[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=-2]Drawing from CrohnsDiseaseFocus.com[/SIZE][FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1].[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a pres-[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]cription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]basically water, only with less flavor.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]great sense of humor, state that after you drink it,'a loose watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle......................................[/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=-2]Photo from EarlKnight.com[/SIZE]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]eaten yet.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been exper-[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]iencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I under-[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=-2]Drawing from AlongPlumCreek.BlogSpot.com[/SIZE][FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good,[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I had[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]not thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]choice but to burn your house.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the pro-[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]cedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=-2]Photo from MercyNorthIowa.com[/SIZE][FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]to the needle in my hand.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]songs that could be playing during this particular procedure,[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than decade.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine and the next[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]mood.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New,Courier][SIZE=+1]I have never been prouder of an internal organ.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Get er done, guys.
