The Twisted Wish Game

[RippleInStillWater]

Abracdabra!!! You build the mod but you drop it and break it, never to be repaired!!!8-o8-o8-o

I wish I could stop buying mods.....

 

[bobsyeruncle]

You went bankrupt and trashed your credit. Well, that was easy.

Fear not. Another serious recession and possible government bailout are still possible and possibly quite soon.

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I wish there was one mod that did everything.

 

[Bardolf Blaze]

Granted! You are suddenly gifted with the genius to build the Ultra-mod Deluxe. It automatically adjusts watts for each juice to match best to your taste buds. It even recharges itself every time you puff. BUT as soon as you are done building it, you fall and hit your head. Awaking with amnesia you can't figure out what that thing in your hand is and throw it in a trash compactor.

I wish to find a juice recipe that everyone will like.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You've invented Happy Juice. It's not the taste that's got everyone excited, it's the stress-relieving and euphoric properties that have got everyone hooked. Unfortunately, it turns out you've basically managed to synthesize controlled substances that test like the real thing and you can't legally own it or sell it.

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I wish tattoos had an expiry date.

 

[sweetz]

Granted - however, now the cost of tattoos is entirely dependant on the time period before expiration date, which is unalterable after application. In addition, the "expiring" ink wasn't fully tested before they started using it, and you turn out to be allergic...forever itchy on your previously tattoo'd skin.

I wish my boss would grow some compassion!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! You now have a big flowering pot of compassion that your boss has been carefully tending. Unfortunately, your boss is still a huge rat bast--d. Maybe one day, some of that compassion will rub off on your boss. It certainly is getting to be enormous .... thanks to a generous, unending supply of, uh, fertilizer from your boss.

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I wish the instructions that come with new gadgets could be more helpful.

 

[sweetz]

First off...HAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's a good one!!

Now...Poof, Wish granted! Except that all the helpful instructions are now the type 007 would have encountered. You get 10 seconds to look them over before they disintegrate. Hope you read quickly!

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted, in whatever quantities without getting fat and without being sick because of it.

 

[Bardolf Blaze]

Granted...but no matter what you eat now it tastes like celery....

I wish I have a PV like this guy...

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila, you have a pv like that guy but then are awed by the one on this guy!!!!

I wish that my son has more confidence with the opposite sex than I did when I was his age -- and, well, now!!!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* This newly lewd and blazing cassanova is all the rage at school...or certainly causing alot of it by the parents of many beautiful daughters. After the egg is scraped, TP bagged and legal fees you are forced to send the kid to the monastery.

I wish I had a PV like the guy from dune!

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted - however you are eaten by a giant sandworm.

I wish they could make a decent movie version of Dune

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Shazam!!! They make a decent movie - -but the sequels based on the ensuing books in the series are being produced by George Lucas and he decides to eliminate 1/3 of the series!!!8-o8-o8-o

I wish scriptwriting would improve, especially in sci-fi movies (did anyone see the Transormers sequels?!!? blech!!!).

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Hollywood decides to gamble by spending more of their budgets on the script writers. So, the corners are cut, naturally, on the special effects. In space, everyone wears outfits made of cardboard boxes and complicated gadgets and dials are all drawn in crayon. Production delays are rampant, as the most skilled special effects wizards are required by law to spend half their day in school in order so they can pass kindergarten.



I wish bottled water didn't cost so much.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted science develops a fantastic new gadget called a "tap" offering endless supplies of free drinking water.


I wish it was Friday

 

[RippleInStillWater]

POOF!!! Its Friday but you have to work all weekend (like normal!)

I wish I didn't have to go to the stupid school board convention this weekend and listen to the self-important blather about how they have the newest and greatest way to teach the children -- when we all know the threat of physical violence will make any kid shut up and learn (worked on us, right?) but we can't even whack our own kids anymore!!!

 

[sweetz]

Granted! You don't have to go this weekend due to a sudden email that the date has changed suddenly to next week...but this is because they have booked a new speaker, the very progressive Dr. Somebodyorother, who is a great proponent of conformity in children. He advises that all grades suddenly become pass/fail regardless of students' effort, shows off the recommended school uniforms (all grey), and a new classing system in which a child's profession is chosen in Kindergarten and is unalterable and enforceable throughout their future careers.

As a result of this disasterous plan, the US public education system collapses entirely and private schools (which we must all suddenly send our children to) triple their tuition to deal with the influx.

I wish my work for the day was done already!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Yer fired. Take the rest of the day off. Heck, take the rest of the year off. Merry Christmas! Ho Ho Ho.

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I wish the government wasn't such a big bunch of a--holes.

 

[sweetz]

Granted! However, your new compassionate and caring government is too peaceful to do much of anything when a small nation halfway across the world shows up at our shores with guns blazing. Seeing their lack of retaliation as weakness, the small nation garners amazing amounts of support from all the others we've meddled with and in a rare event of camaraderie they all band together. It takes them little under a week to completely destroy us.

I wish I could invent the transporter from the Star Trek series (c'mon my fellow nerds, we've all wished it )

 

[Princessdee]

Granted.

However, the estate of Gene Roddenberry sues over "intellectual rights" leaving you penniless and homeless, vapless.

I wish we could find the house we want for sale at an affordable price.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Damn. Spent too much time away from the page and got post-jacked.

Poof! Wish granted. You've got a transporter. You can go wherever you want and get back in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately, as established by StarTrek:TNG, every once in a while things can go wrong with the complicated beast. So, at least once a season (or more if the writers are blocked) something weird happens to you or a friend using the machine. Well, now you've got your molecules mixed up with a dog.

Your friends have all gotten used to you trying to hump their legs, but you can't go anywhere fancy anymore. It's really hard meeting new people and making a good first impression. You can explain away the dog breath, but it's pretty disconcerting watching you lick your own .... hole at the most inopportune times.

You're hoping you can hang on as long as the year 2361, when a young Geordi La Forge is able to figure out how to set everything right again.

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Granted.

However, the estate of Gene Roddenberry sues over "intellectual rights" leaving you penniless and homeless, vapless.

I wish we could find the house we want for sale at an affordable price.

Poof! Wish granted. You get a really sweet deal on a house at a foreclosure sale. Unfortunately, just before you take ownership of the house, you find the evicted tenants have done a little "redecorating" with sledgehammers. Structurally, the house is still intact, but there isn't much left of the walls and floors. Whatever remains has been used as a bathroom by countless dogs, cats and possibly elephants? (by the look of it -- ewwww!).

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I wish I had a really good carrying case for my collection of PVs.