The Twisted Wish Game

[RippleInStillWater]

Poof!!! Armageddon, none of that bs matters anymore!!!

I wish I had more self-confidence.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* Your self confidence is astounding, even when you are wrong! You look like a total jerk to everyone within a week and are now a recluse who knows he was right about everything all the time!

I wish I could control my boss(es)

 

[QBass]

*POOF* You now have a remote control that automatically reads your will and transfers it to your bosses, though you may want to put them on auto when they're 'doing their business'. Now, you just have to get this tiny electrode installed into their... anybody wanna go ride bikes?

I wish I had better concentration skills...

 

[John Wayne]

*POOF* You now have astounding concentration skills. Unfortunately, you are always concentrating on the bridge of your nose. You never get anything done and are permanently cross eyed.

I wish I was on the beach right now!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* You are on the beach, a balmy 81* with a gentle breeze when out of nowhere comes a tsunami.

I wish space travel were easier

 

[440BB]

*Poof* Space travel is unlimited and free! On a weekend trip to Saturn you experience technical difficulties and end up stranded for eternity on an uncharted planet with two fellas - Will Robinson and Gilligan.

I wish the really wealthy paid taxes too.

 

[Steveburger]

Wish granted! New taxes are imposed with the objective of obtaining more revinue from the wealthy. Unfortunately, this comes in the form of a 100% luxury tax on everything besides food, clothes, and housing. All your e-cig and liquid supplies now cost twice as much...


I wish to have my doctorate in astrophysics.

 

[sierrabravo]

*pppfffff* You have a doctorate in astrophysics from the prestigious Bob's House of Waffles and Unacredited University!

I wish the CIA would stop trying to control my dreams through the fillings in my teeth!

 

[QBass]

*KABLAM* you run into a doorway while running!

I wish I had a million dollars...

 

[alamor]

Poof!! You now have 1 million dollars (unfortunately it is all Monopoly money)

I wish I could retire young!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* you retire young, run out of money 10 years later and end up spending your last 50 years with "Crazy Eyed Moe", a psychopath and man-pimp, as your BFF.

I wish my orders arrived instantly

 

[QBass]

*poof* Your orders arrive immediately upon submission, making a vaper in a remote northern Siberian outpost very happy and somewhat confuddled.

I wish I could ride my bicycle 250 miles in one day...

(This thread really proves the saying 'be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it.' I love it!)

 

[sierrabravo]

*Womp* You get to ride your bike 250 miles today. Mostly due to the tractor-trailer that ran you over and has been dragging you and your bike for the last 249 miles.


I wish I had a magical unicorn!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* You now have a shiny new magical unicorn...that falls in love with a magical animated marshmellow, turns everything around it into white sticky marshmellow cream and not realizing its mistake, it suffocates on all thick sticky marshmellow goo.

I wish there was a competition for the "Nicest PIF mod"...

 

[RippleInStillWater]

"poof" There is a contest -- but no winners!!! Just kidding!!!

I wish Lox would get married...

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* Lox gets married, and the scorned Jazz murders him in his sleep! (it DOES say twisted ... )

I wish they both weren't plotting revenge on me for that last one ...

 

[QBass]

*Whop* There is no 'them', nor is there a 'you.' You are simply dreaming and everything you currently think you know is just the result of some bad Chinese food.

I wish I were 12 again while retaining my current knowledge.

 

[sierrabravo]

*Ka-zow* You are have been thrown back in time back to your 12th birthday retaining all your current knowledge. Unfortunately you will be permanently institutionalized before your 13th birthday because of your "delusional" references to e-cigs, snuggies, Lady Gaga, and Snookie...

I wish I had exact change for the vending machine.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* You now have exact change for the vending machine, unfortunately its enough to buy every item and it is balanced on your head. Your skull is crushed under the weight as it was all in nickels.

I wish I could take a few months off work...

 

[LilOperaGirl]

*poof* You now have a few months off of work. However, due to that few months, you have been replaced and ran out of money to pay your rent, so you are now jobless and homeless.

I wish I had a new car...