The Twisted Wish Game

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Unfortunately, you lost your job and can't pay the rent. So now you're living out of your new car.

I wish I was as carefree as a pigeon.

 

[phoenixfire]

Poof. you are a pigeon.
I wish I could have all the new TC's magicly shipped to ME.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof wish granted. You get all the new TC's shipped instantaneously via magic. You just have to figure out how to turn them back from frogs.

I wish there was an "easy button" for everything.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* You press the easy button and it affect your GF, who then becomes...well...easy...and you can never get her off the corner again!

I wish I had some PIE!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

I got yer pie right here (Dailymotion):

(Click on the link if the video isn't working for you either. I'm not sure what's going on there.)
---

I wish Christmas came early this year.

 

[QBass]

*boink* Due to a kink in your brain chemistry that affects only the space-time continuum immediately surrounding your person, Christmas came 365 days early this year, but just for you. As a result, this coming December will be Christmasless in your own private universe, which should reconcile itself with the rest of us on December 26.

I wish I had some cake that suited me.

 

[Prism]

Poof your cake suits you

Your cake is actually a real cake and it fits around you like a suit and all the birds are eating it.

I wish I had a kitten

 

[phoenixfire]

POOF: you find a cute kitten at your frot door but, it's mommy - a very large, very mad mt. lion is right behind it
I wish I had a vv mod.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! You get a nice VV box mod delivered to your door. You put a new CE2 atomizer on it and Poof! You short-circuit your VV box mod. It's back to the Blu for you.

I wish I always knew the exact time the mailman would deliver to my door.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* Now you know, and unfortunately within a month of you jumping out and scaring him and your disturbing prescience he quits ... His replacement is just as unpredictable and even lazier

I wish my coffee costed less

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Strained U.S. relations with coffee-producing countries has resulted in a coffee embargo. So you have to get your fix on the black market. It's surprisingly cheap, though. That's because your black market coffee has been cut with 70% dirt.

---

I wish animals could talk.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Poof!! Animals can talk but they are very rude!!

I wish I had a 1 foot shell that would repel insects around me, or at least biting flies and mosquitos.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! You just turned into one of the Crab People! Complete outer protection against mosquitoes, black flies, gnats and every kind of annoying insect.

Warning: side effects include: cattiness, insatiable interest in fashion and house music and complete lack of interest in women.

---

I wish they'd bring back Gilligan's Island.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* gilligans Island is now back on the air...playing nonstop while you are at work and your TiVo/DVR refuses to record it.

I wish there was snow today!

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila!!! Its snowing......and snowing.......and snowing........and now ou're wishing for summer!!!

Like Jim Croce warbled, I truly wish I could save Time in a Bottle.

 

[QBass]

*kapoof* you find a magic bottle buried in your backyard in which you may bottle up all of the time you want; sadly, after bottling the next ten years to test it out, you can't seem to remove the cork to retrieve the time without destroying the bottle in the process.

I wish my consciousness could be put into a cybernetic body with all of my current capabilities and senses intact.

 

[zerominusone]

Yourl Vish es grlan-teed. (lights flash, smoke comes from out of nowhere obscuring the view monentarily and then as the smoke clears) you open your eyes and you find yourself standing in a park. You look down at your body and it is shiny metal, well most of it; the part that's not metal is covered with something that looks like human skin. Unsure of yourself, you slowly begin moving your arms. The day is very humid. As you move your arms, you hear the tiniest squeek. It becomes louder as you begin to walk around. Just as you begin to feel comfortable in your new self, it begins to rain. You run to find shelter before the sudden downpour soaks you but being so heavy it is hard to move very fast. Eventually, as you run, it becomes harder and harder to move and the squeeking sound grows louder. Then you find that you cannot move at all. The rain has soaked your metal joints causing you to begin to rust. A while later, you open your eyes and it is daylight again and you try to move but still cannot but you can hear something like running water. You then try to look down but being rusted you cannot move your head so you move your eyes. Looking downward the best you can, you can see a small yellowish brown dog ...... on your already rusted leg. Sure you want to be a cyborg?

I wish I had a lifetime supply of Johnson Creek Tennessee Cured.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

You tour the Johnson Creek factory and fall in a vat of Tennessee Cured. The vat's spoiled, so you get to keep all of the juice. You just have to be able to crawl your way out of the vat before you drown. No seems to be trying to help. They're all vaping madly away on the new Mary Jane flavor. They seem pretty relaxed about the whole incident. "A little help here! Anybody? Anybody?"

I wish liver and kidney tasted like chicken.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*POOF* Liver and kidneys now taste like 3 months in the hot sun rotted chicken (similar to the way it is now).

I wish that PB&J made in advance did not make the bread soggy!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Your mental faculties are now heightened now and you realize how to butter both sides followed by peanut butter on both sides so the jelly ends up in the middle and doesn't soak through the bread. But now that you're so much smarter, you realize all the people around you are idiots.

I wish I had more money.