The Twisted Wish Game

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* The wild firing of the board ensues and the changes brought by the new management team are Extremely scientific. They now only post hypothesis and result set with no lingo or acronym translations. You understand about 1-80th of the content now as most of it is physics algorithyms and nano-biology content.

I wish my vacation started this morning!

 

[loxmythe]

poof wish granted however you come down with explosive ........ and uncontrollable flatulence while getting on the airplane and the TSA is very unhappy about the mess


I wish I was golfing right now

 

[440BB]

Poof! You are golfing right now...at a nudist colony, without sunscreen.

I wish I was hiking in Boulder.

 

[zerominusone]

Pa-Dow! You're there but you meet up with Steven King and he writes a story about you and it scares you to death.

I wish my Johnson Creek order would hurry up and get here.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* in the haste of the "bucket chain" concept being used to get your order there there box was dropped around 900 times. You get a soggy box full of broken glass shards. You spend the day trying to get the glass "glitter" off of you and the package and trying to mod a cart with the soggy cardboard. Epic Fail.

I wish these carto's would refil themselves

 

[The Rebel]

"Shazam!" All your cartos now refill themselves, but only with the Decadent Vapours Sea Urchin flavoured juice. Goes excellent with some toast.

I wish my neighbor would mow his darn lawn. I lost my son in it yesterday.

 

[VpnDrgn]

Wish granted : While mowing his lawn he disturbed several fire ant mounds, so they decided to migrate
over to your yard.


I wish I could get a do-over for my life.

 

[zerominusone]

Poof - You open your eyes and you are a baby; can't move right, can't talk, can't vape. All you can do is eat, cry, and s__t.


I wish all my cartos, batts, and juices were free.

 

[QBass]

*knock**knock* You answer the door to find a flood of 'customers' come rushing through, grabbing up all of your free stuff!

I wish avocado and orange trees could survive the Winter outdoors as far north as Chicago.

 

[MiXoLoGiSt]

*Poof* Your avocado and orange trees can now survive but they get infested with tons of insects and you cant eat what you have grown!

I wish i was at Vegas Vapefest!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You meet lots of interesting vapers, get to see lots of interesting new mods and new production e-cigarettes coming down the pipe. And you try some of the special Vegas Meet Suicide Juice: a combination of samples from everything everyone is vaping. At first, nothing seems wrong. Then ....bleh ....blaaaaargh ....fart ....phwoooooar .....boooooooooom! Suddenly, every single one of your orifices needs to boot and the sight ain't pretty.

The doctors say they can rebuild the lining of your lungs, stomach, colon and urethra with specially treated sheep parts and you won't need to spend the rest of your life on immunosuppressants, so all in all, you got away kind of lucky. But, you still get dirty looks from people you barely knew from the vape fest who were within spraying distance when everything went down.

I wish they made a 5-volt lithium-ion battery.

 

[The Rebel]

Poof! You now have your 5-volt Lith-ion batt, but it's the size of a small microwave and has wheels so you can drag it along with you while you vape.

I wish the Detroit Lions go undefeated this year and win the Superbowl. Go Lions!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* As the dome collapses starting with the locker room sections you realize a loss of the game is nothing compared to the loss of life for the entire team. As the tour bus for the other team arrives they declare that the Lions should be declared "Undefeated champions of Football". Maybe next year will be better with the new team...

I wish people would teach their children to behave...

 

[QBass]

*Kebamph* People now teach their children to behave. Sadly, most either use the stick method and end up with introverted psychopaths, or the frosted carrot method and end up with extroverted psychopaths. Did you notice the change in society?

I wish the US federal government would relinquish it's control of individual freedoms to the states.

 

[Odell]

TA DA! The federal government allows individuals in states to govern themselves. All states vote to immediately declare themselves a sovereign nation and go to war with each other.

I wish superman was real

 

[VpnDrgn]

*poof* Superman gets fed up with trying to keep humans from killing themselves and begins to realize humans are a plague in the galaxy.
In a fit of frustrated rage he kills off 90% of the population and keeps the last 10% as a petting zoo on an Earth that has been reverted
back to nature.


I wish I could see the future.

 

[QBass]

*klarmph* You now have the unique ability to see the future for what it will truly be. Of course, that sight is entirely visual and only extends 1/30 second into the future. The only noticeable effect is you seem just a little less coordinated than usual. It's OK; your brain should adjust and you will be spry as ever in no time.

I wish I had a solar powered motor home.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish Granted.

An unprecedented rainy spell leaves you in the dark for months. You amuse yourself by playing "where's my e-cigs?" and "wonder when the weather will break?". You're getting way behind on episodes of "Springer", "Jackass" and "Jersey Shore". On the plus side, you've been dressing better since you see no point in wearing Crocs and acid-washed track pants that no one else can see you in.

I wish life weren't so complicated.

 

[VpnDrgn]

*poof*

You wake up one morning sitting in a strange bed, suddenly you realize you can not move or speak.
What little you can see from staring straight ahead, is a small room with the tv on the weather channel.
You hear beeping coming from beside you, but can't even turn your head or eyes to try to see what it
is. Suddenly you hear a door open and a doctor, followed by several interns, walks into your field of vision
and they line up around your bed. The doctor begins talking to the interns;

"This is Mr. Uncle, he was brought in to us last week after being found sitting in front of his computer.
Apparently, he was on a forum for those nasty ecigs the FDA have been trying to save us from.
He is in a completely unresponsive vegetative state." One of the interns asks, "Have we done a toxicology
scan yet? You know those ecigs have antifreeze in them!" "Yes", states the doctor, "but it is very
complicated. Apparently, Mr. Uncle here, was mixing his own nic juice, so we have no idea what all kinds
of chemicals he was exposed to." They all turn to leave, and just before the door closes, one of the intern
states,"Well, his life isn't complicated anymore, is it?"


I wish I had big thumbs.

 

[QBass]

*Kabamm* That is the sound of your newly enlarged thumbs hitting the floor and pulling you with them. You cannot lift them, but you can just manage to drag them behind you. Sadly, you were running down the hallway on your way to an emergency rest room break when the sudden growth happened, and your thumbs will not fit through any of the doorways.

I wish I had 6 fingers on each hand.