Today, I smoked.

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Mud Pie

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Feb 25, 2013
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(apologies in advance, but for some reason I can't hit Enter to start a new paragraph) Last night my crying wife woke me up and told me my best buddy for the past ten years has died. Our cat, Peggy, was lying downstairs motionless. We have no idea why or what happened. Just two hours prior she was on the bed rubbing on the edge of my laptop screen like she always does because she does NOT like to be ignored. That cat followed me everywhere. Incredulous, I walked downstairs, saw her and called her name. Of course she didn't move. I touched her, she was still warm. My wife was woken by our Min-Pin and she thought she wanted to go outside. That little dog tried to get us to save her friend. They slept together, played together, in defiance of the "cat vs dog" theorem. I touched Peggy's toes, they were cold. I picked her limp body up and noticed her eyes were fixed. Yes, my buddy was gone. Yes, I'm a 52 yr old former Marine, but I sat on that floor and wept like a smacked 5 yr old. We wrapped her in her favorite towel (silly cat loved sleeping on towels), and buried her in our backyard. This morning on my way to work (I tried to act "normal" today; that didn't work, went home two hours later), my trusty ol' vape just wasn't cutting it. I bought a pack of Marlboro's, lit one, although it tasted like crap, I smoked it. Left the remaining pack in the outside break/smoking area. Good-bye Peggy, Best Kitty in the World. Thanks for all the Meowers when I opened the door at the end of the day.
 

spartanstew

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Jun 29, 2013
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Sorry for your loss Mud. We've lost 3 cats in the last 4 years, including my wife's 20 year old cat she received as a high school graduation present. It's never easy, and my two boys (8 and 10), of course take it pretty hard as well. Our last remaining cat is only 11, but I think she's not long for this world either (she broke her back when she was 3 and has suffered bad arthritis ever since). I'm dreading that day, especially for my wife and kids sake.
 

Cactus Breath

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Jul 6, 2013
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Very sorry to hear of your loss. Reading your post left me with misty eyes and a lump in my throat. We have 3 cats - the oldest is 15 and he's my best buddy. I actually saw him being born and we've had him ever since. I know the time is coming sooner or later, and I know that like you, this 50-year old man will cry like a baby when it happens.

RIP Peggy - wait for your master at the Rainbow Bridge, where you'll rejoin him and he'll hear your beloved Meowers again.
 

tippyclubb

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Oct 3, 2011
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My heart goes out to you because I know how hard it is to lose a pet and have lost many. For me its just as hard as losing a family member and its a deep grief that will stay with you a long time. The good news is that it does get better but it takes time for the hole in your heart to heal. It was a good 6 months before I could walk into the house without feeling empty inside.

One thing that helped me through the grieving stage was to keep telling myself what a wonderful life our dogs had living with us. They were not homeless, hungry or misused and they lived a great life. Another thing that helped was to remember all the happy times we had with our pets. Oh yes, you will cry at first, but in time those memories will turn into happy ones.

Smoking one cigarette is the least of your worries now, so don't beat yourself up over it. Do what you need to do and you will get back on track when the time is right.
 

SharonH

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Feb 10, 2013
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Ontario, Canada & California
(apologies in advance, but for some reason I can't hit Enter to start a new paragraph) Last night my crying wife woke me up and told me my best buddy for the past ten years has died. Our cat, Peggy, was lying downstairs motionless. We have no idea why or what happened. Just two hours prior she was on the bed rubbing on the edge of my laptop screen like she always does because she does NOT like to be ignored. That cat followed me everywhere. Incredulous, I walked downstairs, saw her and called her name. Of course she didn't move. I touched her, she was still warm. My wife was woken by our Min-Pin and she thought she wanted to go outside. That little dog tried to get us to save her friend. They slept together, played together, in defiance of the "cat vs dog" theorem. I touched Peggy's toes, they were cold. I picked her limp body up and noticed her eyes were fixed. Yes, my buddy was gone. Yes, I'm a 52 yr old former Marine, but I sat on that floor and wept like a smacked 5 yr old. We wrapped her in her favorite towel (silly cat loved sleeping on towels), and buried her in our backyard. This morning on my way to work (I tried to act "normal" today; that didn't work, went home two hours later), my trusty ol' vape just wasn't cutting it. I bought a pack of Marlboro's, lit one, although it tasted like crap, I smoked it. Left the remaining pack in the outside break/smoking area. Good-bye Peggy, Best Kitty in the World. Thanks for all the Meowers when I opened the door at the end of the day.
:( I'm sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself over analogs right now. Grieve and get back on track when you can. I lost my best friend of 15 years 19 months ago and it still sucks. He had a short battle with cancer. Our furry friends are members of our family and mourning is normal.
 

Tache

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Jun 25, 2013
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It is the most terrible feeling in the world, and it doesn't matter how long or short a time they've been with us. My heart (and my tears) go out to you. I have four buddies "sleeping" out under the back field. I ask Erin, Rocky, Forest and Poppy to welcome and comfort Peggy.

I send you and your family hugs.
 
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