Tough decision...don't know if i'm doing the right thing..

[Happy Domino38]

Hi Ladies,

I'm at a bit of a cross roads here and need some 'outside' advice, if it's not too much trouble!

I have a 6 year old daughter named Payton. She's a FANTASTIC kid and is a TRUE joy to both of us.

Anyway, she loves gymnastics, so we signed her up. She's taken her Level 1 program..no sweat.

She was in her FIRST night of Level II and I notice the instructor bringing her through the gym, hand in hand. I thought that maybe she'd hurt herself, but then I notice she's taking her around to the different 'stations' and there's another coach with them.

After the class, out comes Payton telling me that her coach wants to talk to me. Okaaay...

Well, she's under the impression that Payton would be 'wasting her time' in the Recreational Program.

Hey!
Great!
The next Mary Lou Retton!

THEN, she goes on to tell me that she should be in this OTHER class that goes for 3 HOURS at a time, 3 TIMES A WEEK!! That's one hour per week to NINE hours/week!

We have let her try 2 of the 3 hour classes to see if she could handle it. No problems. So...here's my dilemma...she's only SIX. That's A LOT of time away from school etc. (AND, her schooling is bloody BRUTAL! She's in Grade ONE..some of her weekly spelling test words have been; 'neighbour'/beautiful/wouldn't/couldn't/appreciate etc.! Her latest math test was about VERTICES!! What the heck are THOSE??)

This gym is NOT about the cash. They ARE a 'professional' gym. They boast almost 1/2 of the Canadian Team.

No, we didn't enroll her there BECAUSE of that, it just happens to be close, so I don't THINK they're in it for the money pull, she IS very coordinated, etc. but????

I don't want to DIScourage her, but I'm worried that it's too much for just a little girl.

What do YOU guys think? And, unfortunately, there's no 'middle ground'! That's the next step UP, more like a JUMP than a STEP!

HELP!!

 

[MacArthurBug]

6 is young, IMHO.
Now this is just my feelings. I am not a doctor, I couldn't even play one well on t.v.
That said, I also have a 6 year old, they're strange amazing little things. My gut says 1. Ask the girl. Does she want to spend this much time in gymnastics? Does she LOVE it? 2. Go with your gut. Are you REALLY cool with this? Do YOU want to commit both yourself and your daughter to this? It's OK either way. IT really is, but in the end this is your call.

If it were my weirdo? I wouldn't do it. I'd go with the next level, but that's because I know my daughter, she's a flutter bug. She gets passionately into a new thing every few months.

 

[AJMoore]

Great question and post. I'll go what has worked for me, I won't bore you with my wonderful daughter tales. Let her find her own limits. She'll tell you or indicate when it's too much. Your job, IMO, is to make the opportunity available, her job is to decide if it's the right opportunity for her.

You sound like a great mom, I'm now working on the next generation (7 year old grandson).

 

[shopgirl284]

I soooooo wanted to take gymnastics as a kid, but my family did not have the money, so I know I am biased, but I say let her go for it. She will let you know if it is too much work, especially since you sound like you are already sensitive to it.

Unfortunately, with gymnastics, 6 to 7 years old is the best age for them to get serious about it. And if it really is something she finds that she loves, it is better for her to figure out how to work around school early (if you think first grade is bad for homework, wait until third grade).

Some time savers with classes, you can usually find other mothers in the class and do carpools to save you some time. As far as homework and studying, as a single working mother, I often used rides in the car as time to help my son study for upcoming test. Have them spell words for you or give them random math problems (2 +2 is ?, or how do you spell dog?) Though you can't actually get homework done in the car, the added practice from those random car quizzes also give them the knowledge to help them get their homework done faster and easier.

 

[Mary Kay]

The question is are YOU ready for the hours, the tears, the pressure?
Kids will rise to almost anything..they are amazing prople! She may or may not want to be in the program on a day to day basis.
One in a million becomes Olympic material..not that the others aren't wonderful! Can your wunderkin handle being a winner or sometimes 2nd place..3rd?
I am all for kids being the best they can be, I am not however for kids being crushed by very aggresive coachs. Tread carefully.

 

[Metstoo]

I'm not a parent so it's hard for me to say. I think, though, that I would go with MacArthurBug and consider what your daughter wants. She may change her mind after a few months of hard work but if she really wants it now, you should consider saying yes. Also consider her physical well being. It's a tough sport with LOTS of training and potential for injuries and she IS only 6! I know they snag the Olympic hopefuls that early but I've read that it can be very harsh on their lil bodies. So are you cool with all that and keeping an eye on her training? And then there is transportation and all that happy logistical stuff with schedules and schooling and homework. That would be a lot of pressure on an adult!

She's really gotta love it to get through all that, I think.

 

[Skyler]

I agree with most. Time will tell after your daughter goes through so many classes. You will know when she knows exactly what she wants. As a mom we are so willing to give our time as long as our kids need it. Good Luck!

 

[PatriciafromCO]

my sister started at 6, we both started gymnastics as a tumbling class. Then moved on to gymnastics after we liked it.. I was a tall grape ape so I sucked at it. lol but my younger sister much shorter build excelled and she loved it. by 7 she was competing and winning.. at 8 she went and trained with the Carollie coach.. She stayed with the long schedule traveling to meets, until I think she was 15 and just decided one day she was done... And it was no big deal for my parents she was always the deciding factor. so age factor isn't a big issue.. it would be if they want to do it or not knowing at any given time they can say I'm done.. That she had accomplished all that she wanted to in herself.

it was a good nurturing environment that knew how to encourage her at 6, and not tear her down... And they were honest not in it for the money... They liked me but saw no long term potiential lol lol..

best wishes... it's great for getting her involved in the experience, they learn good life skills they carry with them into adult hood..

 

[Firegrl]

I was in gymnastics when I was younger, and have a screwed up knee because of it.

I was going to the same gym where the latest gold medalist at the time was going, and it seemed they cared more about money than they did about the actual well-being of their students. Especially since Trent Dimas just won the gold, it seemed they were walking around with $$$ in their eyes. I screwed up a vault, ended up tearing my ACL, but it was made MUCH worse by the owner and a coach insisting nothing was wrong with my knee and making me continue my gymnastics routine. You trust them, especially if they know enough to take someone to gold. Well, I waited before going to the doctor because my coaches said everything was fine, and ended up tearing almost all the cartlidge in my knee. I will probably have SEVERE arthritis in my later years.

Point is, you are the ONLY one that will have the best interests of your child at heart. You obviously don't feel comfortable, so you need to sit down and think about it....

 

[Happy Domino38]

As always, you guys are AMAZING! THANK YOU for so many sweet responses!

I think I'm travelling down the same road as you guys are, if she wants to do it, and SHE thinks she can handle it, I'm for it. I've told her that IF she decides at some point that it IS too much for her, we're fine with her reducing her time. (We'd also be fine if she wanted to QUIT, it's HER life, but we didn't really want to SAY it, y'know?)

She's PASSIONATELY involved with a lot of things too at this age, but, she DOES like, she IS good at it and I think she'll have the form for it. I'm only 5'3" and weigh in at an impressive 98 pounds...(bleh). BUT, if I was a GYMNAST, I'd probably be happy with that.

On the other hand, I was also a Paramedic. I've spent my fair share of time in various Gymnastics clubs, securing a knee or a shoulder after a rather HORRIBLE injury. (you're right, Firegrl, they certainly DON'T call for an ambulance, even if it IS warranted some times, they push and push them to 'walk it off'). I've had WAY more sports injury pick ups from the home than from the arena.

But, it's the risk we all take and, if her schooling doesn't suffer, I think we'll just go ahead and let her do what makes her happy!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP AND KIND WORDS!!

 

[keyzygirl]

My daughter is a soccer star,its fully her choice.When the coaches want to talk,I tell them to ask her directly because its her choice and her commitment.She started at 6 she is now 10 and still very happy with it.She travels and does tournaments.She wants to continue,I only ask that she tells me when its no longer fun.I think allowing them to choose for themselves will make them better at making the tougher choices later in life.

 

[Kate51]

Hi all,
I think you've got it figured out pretty good, domino, if she excells and loves it it's her gain, but just leave an 'out' for her. Your gonna be ragged, but I guess that what parent's are for!
I can't say enough for any kind of sports, I really do think it's terrific for the young (and old too!) But it has to be kept fun, excessive pressure does more harm than good. (I'm thinking about some of our basketball parents, now...whew, some are so aggressive!) My alma matre went to State Tournaments this year, the girl's team, and actually won the first game.
But after all is said and done, it is an investment, some which pays off and some you just pay for!
I used to weight 110. Domino. Can't say that anymore, although it still says 115 on my DL. (They didn't have a scale!)
Oh, and we're working with a "Great-Grand", but he's not even walking yet at 8 mo's. His mom was very into cross-country.

 

[martha1014]

6 years old is very young for a child to make a decision like this. Sounds like school is going to take up a lot of her time (it seems pretty hard for a lst grader) If she is determined then she can certainly go for it. I just can't see a child this young sticking with something that will be this hard on her. Most children that age just wants to plan but I guess some of them will be willing to put out the effort. You need to watch and make sure what she is doing will not cause her accidents or harm her. It looks like to me a lot of what they do could cause incidents. She needs an adult to protect her from harm. Seems when they are learning new routines it can be very dangerous.

IMO there are very few 6 years old that would stick with something this hard. I would let her try if it does affect her school work or potential accidents. Her safety is #1.

I do know at that age my children was start something and then quit. This would be after I spent money on whatever they needed.

 

[Metstoo]

I wish I had been encouraged to get into some sport or dance when I was little. At 6, I had a ballet class for a brief while but then money got short and had to quit. I think I was pretty good at it for my age so it was a shame to leave it.

As with anything else, moms and dads just need to be there for their kids in any healthy endeavor.

 

[beebopnjazz]

Well this schedule will require a lot from your daughter as well from you. 9 hours a week is a lot for anyone let alone a 6 year old - now if she's always said she wants to be an Olympian -no harm trying this out. The commitment level is very high though. What happens as she progresses in school and homework is now worth an hour or 2 or more per night? I'm not saying you shouldn't do this but really think about this. We taught our kids that they can't just quit extra curricular activities - they must finish the season or school year - depending on what the activity required.

I lost 5 years of weekends for my daughter - but she was 16 (Double Bass musician) - 2 different orchestras - on the board in 1 and librarian (of music) for the other. Even after she had her own vehicle - we were still there as there was so much to do. (And all vehicles had to be big enough to hold "Baby")

I think that perhaps you should speak with her pediatrician too and make sure that 9 hours per week in 3 hour stretches isn't too much for her little joints - just as a precaution.

Just some thoughts is all.

 

[Happy Domino38]

Thanks AGAIN! ALL of you!

I agree with what beebopnjazz said about just 'quitting'. We weren't allowed to do that either. If the time and money had been spent, you COULD quit, but you were at LEAST finishing what they'd paid for! (We grew up in SCOTLAND. As most of you are aware, that's where copper wire was invented. By two scot's fighting over a penny!)

I will keep a VERY close eye on both her interest level and her coach's ability to determine what IS and what is NOT a safe activity for a little one her age.

I spoke to another mom there and she was telling me that one of the older girls that was in that gym who had started at around 3 or 4 and was one of the gym's 'star' pupils, (on the Provincial team, etc.) when she started having some knee problems, etc. Turns out when she went into the doctor, she needed her HIP replaced!

INSTANT stop to a 'career'.

LUCKILY though, her parents had kept her involved in school and she had a lot of friends, etc. So, although she was devasted, I'm SURE, they hadn't allowed gymnastics to become her WORLD.

I think THAT'S when it becomes DANGEROUS. She's been told that gymnastics is FUN, it's an EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY, but LIFE comes FIRST.

Thanks again to everyone for their amazing advice and real-life comparisons!

 

[Mary Kay]

Hey My Grand dad McKinnon still has his end of that wire!

 

[Kate51]

MK, I had no idea you're a Scot!
I can relate to the story, but my folks came from Germany and Switzerland. They could squeeze a penny till it cried!

 

[emberl]

How in the world can make a 6 year old make a decision like this?

6 year olds can make a decision on eating a hamburger or chicken nuggets.

 

[Mary Kay]

The decision is..is it fun today. That's it. the rest is up to the parents.
The question is: do I want to let her try to do this.