wife doesn't like any flavors

[WomanOfHeart]

She's just not ready to quit and she's afraid that vaping isn't going to work any better than anything else she's ever tried. She probably doesn't have the heart to tell you how she really feels. I'd even be willing to bet that while she thinks it's great that you're vaping, she's waiting for it stop working and for you to start smoking again. I know that you mean well and you really care about her, but smoking is just like any other addiction. You can't force it, bargain with it, or negotiate with it. She has to do it because she wants to do it. This is just my opinion, but it might be best right now to just drop it. Keep vaping and let her see that it's working for you and she might just come around in her own time. Let her become curious about it, let it be her decision.

That's just my .25cents (adjusted for inflation) coming from a recovering addict and someone who has been in her shoes.

 

[Ibvapin]

Hard to guess the problem. As someone said it could be fear. Also, if she is not a gadget nut kind of person, the equipment might intimidate her or seem unnatural. And vape does sort of taste a bit nasty or harsh when you first start (at least the first juice I had - a PG tobacco). What kind of cigarettes does she smoke? If she smokes ultralights or slims maybe she would prefer something like M401 which vapes lighter with good taste? Do any of your PV's look like a cigarette (like white with tan filter? ) If not, maybe she would prefer one that does so she won't stand out. Dunno

What kinds of foods does she like in real life? Maybe she would be interested in some food/fruity juices? I can't vape them all the time (I need a tobacco flavor with TH to be satisfied) but some of the other flavors are really nice. Backwoods Brew Peach is amazing. If she likes Ginger Ale, Velvet Vapors has a nice ginger ale and raspberry ginger ale. If she likes liquor, you can make a tobacco+liquor flavor as well as any combination you want at Gourmet Vapor (60% off sale on flavored juices including self-creations until Jan 5 with code VapeTV60 ). I also love flavors with chocolate or raspberry. freedomSmokeUSA has flavored tea vapes. I like peach tobaccos (mix some BWB peach with a tobacco flavor juice). She's a lady - she probably likes one of those things?

She likes it in public cause it irritates some people in stores restaurant's etc she says she loves ms Tees coffee flavors but will only use it every couple of days Im starting to believe it's either she's scared or just doesn't want to. I won't give up just keep trying.

 

[Natalia]

Oh dormouse, I think what you said is DH's problem! "Also, if she is not a gadget nut kind of person, the equipment might intimidate her or seem unnatural." The man can't figure out call waiting or the cable remote. I remember now the first few days when he was trying to vape, he got frustrated. He couldn't tell when the battery is low or the carto was almost empty. Thank you for posting that!

 

[chimney55]

Another thing that I forgot to ask is what kind of analogs that she smokes. If she smoked "lights", she might think that flavors are weird. Freedom Smoke USA has Pure Cig that is wonderful. It's not a strong tobacco flavor at all. It tastes kinda like what we think a light cigarette tastes like because we have killed our tastebuds. I also get them to add a splash of menthol (no extra charge) because I was a misty menthol light 120 smoker for the last 15 years of my analog "career". It's really a nice juice with really decent vapor and a mild to medium throat hit for "light" smokers like myself. (although I would smoke 30-50 of them a day! )

 

[Ibvapin]

Out of the blue, she just told me that she is going to try again when Ms T's coffee flavor is delivered. Mind control by way of forum. LOL

 

[chimney55]

Out of the blue, she just told me that she is going to try again when Ms T's coffee flavor is delivered. Mind control by way of forum. LOL

 

[StormFinch]

One thing I thought about... is it possible that the nic level is too low for her? Do you have a variety of them? You say she uses it off and on and then going back to cigarettes. It sounds like maybe, possibly, the e-cig might not be satisfying her need for nicotine and she just doesn't want to tell you it doesn't work for her since it's working for you. If you don't have them already, get her the flavor you said she likes in a couple of different nic levels higher than what you have now.

 

[pkj]

Are you too aggressive? No one likes to be pushed, pulled, or dragged into anything. I couldn't quit until I was ready. You couldn't quit until you were ready. Who is to say she will ever be ready to quit? Maybe she likes smoking, standing in the cold, going to bed and smelling cigarette smoke on her pillow. (we may not care for it, but maybe she is ok with it)

How often do you try to talk to her about vaping / smoking? Is she tuning you out?

If she says, "yes, but"....do you come at her with 1000 reasons why she should vape
OR
do you sit silently and actually listen to what she is saying. You don't need to respond to her other than with a nod of the head or a polite, social type of response.....just listen. Keep an open mind and really listen.

My advice to you is to stop. Stop talking about smoking or vaping with her. Stop trying to find or create the perfect juice for her. Chances are she has already tried the perfect juice for her but didn't even realize it. Chances are you have enough juices in your house that she could find any number of them to her satisfaction. (do you want to live in our guest house? Bring your juices, ok? ok)

Maybe she is happy smoking. Maybe she is miserable smoking. It does not matter because there is nothing that you or I can do to change her behaviour or her mind on the subject. This is the time when we must buck-up and accept her for exactly what she is...no more and no less....she is what she is. I'm pretty sure you have made her aware of the dangers of smoking and the Lessor Dangers of Vaping. She is not stupid. She understands. When she is ready, you will know it. Until then, I suggest you back off.

Maybe she will play around with her PV and come to appreciate it instead of cigs. Maybe not. Many people, you included, smoked while they vaped. Every time she picks up the PV and forfeits the cig is a win for her.

Congratulations on your success with vaping!
Happy New Year & Happy Vaping,
Paula

 

[Ibvapin]

One thing I thought about... is it possible that the nic level is too low for her? Do you have a variety of them? You say she uses it off and on and then going back to cigarettes. It sounds like maybe, possibly, the e-cig might not be satisfying her need for nicotine and she just doesn't want to tell you it doesn't work for her since it's working for you. If you don't have them already, get her the flavor you said she likes in a couple of different nic levels higher than what you have now.

I have no flavor 40 mg/ml Ms T's is as strong as I could get her to go. And I have both pg and vg to weaken it. Thanks

 

[Ibvapin]

Are you too aggressive? No one likes to be pushed, pulled, or dragged into anything. I couldn't quit until I was ready. You couldn't quit until you were ready. Who is to say she will ever be ready to quit? Maybe she likes smoking, standing in the cold, going to bed and smelling cigarette smoke on her pillow. (we may not care for it, but maybe she is ok with it)

How often do you try to talk to her about vaping / smoking? Is she tuning you out?

If she says, "yes, but"....do you come at her with 1000 reasons why she should vape
OR
do you sit silently and actually listen to what she is saying. You don't need to respond to her other than with a nod of the head or a polite, social type of response.....just listen. Keep an open mind and really listen.

My advice to you is to stop. Stop talking about smoking or vaping with her. Stop trying to find or create the perfect juice for her. Chances are she has already tried the perfect juice for her but didn't even realize it. Chances are you have enough juices in your house that she could find any number of them to her satisfaction. (do you want to live in our guest house? Bring your juices, ok? ok)

Maybe she is happy smoking. Maybe she is miserable smoking. It does not matter because there is nothing that you or I can do to change her behaviour or her mind on the subject. This is the time when we must buck-up and accept her for exactly what she is...no more and no less....she is what she is. I'm pretty sure you have made her aware of the dangers of smoking and the Lessor Dangers of Vaping. She is not stupid. She understands. When she is ready, you will know it. Until then, I suggest you back off.

Maybe she will play around with her PV and come to appreciate it instead of cigs. Maybe not. Many people, you included, smoked while they vaped. Every time she picks up the PV and forfeits the cig is a win for her.

Congratulations on your success with vaping!
Happy New Year & Happy Vaping,
Paula

I'm the type of person that keeps his mouth shut. I don't try to control. Im submissive shes the controlling one. The only thing I might do to much is talk to much about liking mine and how I like certain flavors. She would kick my _ _ _ otherwise. It's who I am and want to be.

 

[son et lumiere]

That's halarious. Flavors are like the best part of vaping. Try some liquid from Janty. I am still amazed with thier juice. Favorite juice so far by a long shot.

 

[Rhapsodies Fire]

Thanks rhapsody, that's kinda how I believe she is feelin. I can't figure out a way to talk about it without her getting upset. I don't want to push her away so she won't give it a chance later just gotta keep trying and hopefully she will. It is just hard for me to understand cause it worked for me as soon as I tried. I still smoked 1 or 2 a day because they were there then it was 1 or 2 a week just to see if it still tasted as bad. Then was like why am I still doin this I feel like I licked an ashtray.

My husband felt the same way as you....he bought me every ecig and mod under the sun trying to help me feel what he was feeling. Guy was killing himself trying to help me...but he just hung back, handed me things to try and didn't chastise me if it didn't take. Eventually, he handed me one that I hung on to for a few days...then I just never gave it back and the rest is history. Its not just the feel of the PV, but how the combination of vapor, flavor, throat hit, and confidence kinda gelled for me. All I can say is....I'm pretty sure she'll come around eventually....it just might take some time. Patience is hard...but it pays off. After I took to this last mod...I finally joined the ECF to see what I was missing. Its just a wierd hump we have to get over....the fear of failure. Good luck, Tim.

 

[EynaraWolf]

Quitting, no matter how one goes about doing it, is something a person has to be ready for. Give it some time and just let it roll for a while. She'll either do it or she won't, but be there ready to help when she is.

 

[Wenlamei]

Hiya! (And a Happy New Year to you and the Missus to boot!!)

I congratulate you on your success and your obviously heartfelt desire to inspire your wife as well!! I can't speak to any of the ready, not ready/push, don't push/ equipment type issues, because I really just don't know that much about this whole thing yet. But, I noticed you said she favored the coffee flavored juice.

Just entering my second week off the sticks I am ALL about the coffee type flavors. I don't think it's so much coffee as it is that these flavors tend to taste .. kind of ... burnt. Maybe it's missing the analogs or maybe it's personal preference, but I love, love, love these sort of tastes right now!! Like coffee of any variation, chocolates in most variations, or my personal favorite, black tea, (oh, how I love you!!). Maybe she just needs to taste/feel in her throat something kind of burnt to get her fix? Maybe order her some additional different kinds of coffee type flavors to see if anything else trips her trigger?

Second, if you really want to help her to get on board ... just ask her. Don't accuse, but simply ask. Have an honest conversation about what she finds off putting. Not the defense mechanism feeling pressured or insulted off handed remarks she'll reach for first, but an honest to goodness heart to heart type thing. She's your wife. She loves and trusts you. And I'm sure she'll be willing to share her reservations with you, rendering you far better suited to help her quit the smokes. Listen to her and help her through her concerns. (Not trying to imply you aren't already doing these things. It's a "just in case" type of piece of advice.) I'm sure she, more than any of the rest of us, can help you figure out her reluctance.

Best of luck to both of you,

~Wendy

 

[tresrottn]

LOL,
First, congrats for trying. I mix my own, and I have a nice lemony menthol that is my standby. My pals that I mix for joke I make all these nice flavors, and I am vaping what amounts to lemon pledge It's definitely an individual thing, these flavors.


Second, I think we are all missing it. The lady has stated what she likes. She likes the coffee flavor! Ok, go from there. There are tons, literally tons of different types of coffee flavors to explore with from cappuccino on down. There are all types of flavorings to add to coffee, cream, sweetener, caramel, vanilla, the list goes on and on. Go on a shopping spree with her. Show her the websites with the gajillion different flavors, like Velvet Vapors - Home and http://store.vapor4life.com/The_NEW_WOW_Vapor_Cartomizers_s/48.htm Since you mix, get some flavors from Perfumers Apprentice - Professional DIY Flavors or DIY Flavor Shack by E-Cig Smoke Store

Get her some nice flavor (or stick with the Ms T) and a good nic level, and she will be vaping just for the pleasure of it. If she quits smoking, she quits smoking. No worries. I can almost promise that if she gets into vaping, her ciggie intake will go down, and she may quit one day without even realizing it!

 

[LeAnn]

If she like coffee, try coffee mocha from Mister e-liquid or try hopscotch or ry5 for fsusa, they are my favorites, get her off those analogs, not matter what it takes, she will feel better and those tastebuds will come back!

 

[medic123]

Maybe try a different PV. I got my husband an EGO and he would use it a few times and put it down and light up. I got him a KR808 and he quit cigs that day. Screw a carto onto the battery and he is good to go. 3 months later he uses his EGO more, but the 808 auto is still his go to PV. He says it is as easy as smoking, no carts to fill, no attys to burn or taste funny, feels more like a cig. Might be worth a shot.

 

[louis]

Tim,
Don't feel bad as my wife bought 1 at the mall in Tyler Texas & said it was for both of us.
I bought a Smoke Tip about a week later & have been totally quit for over 2 weeks & I smoked 1 pk. a day for 48 years.
My wife still has not quit even though I keep trying new juices that she says she likes.
I am thinking about making my own juices also just haven't took the plunge yet to start.
I just use sample kits to get an idea of what suppliers have & what they taste like.

Keep on vapein'

 

[Pokeygizmo]

I'm the type of person that keeps his mouth shut. I don't try to control. Im submissive shes the controlling one. The only thing I might do to much is talk to much about liking mine and how I like certain flavors. She would kick my _ _ _ otherwise. It's who I am and want to be.

Wow, this statement really jumped out at me. She's the controlling one? So she needs to be and feel in control? Of your relationship? Of you? Of life in general? And you've gone and made a major life-style change that has altered the relationship as she's seen it for how long? And you're asking/leading/pleading with her to give up a habit, an addiction that probably helps her feel like she's in control? And by asking her to do so, puts her in a major out of control situation? Giving up her analogs? Her companions? Her "choice"? To go on that mind-bending hunt for the perfect juice, the perfect PV? She may already be feeling that she's lost her "smoking buddy" and now he's pushing her to give up her last stanchion of self?

Please, please don't flame me as I am not being snarky at all. Smoking is so much more than the physical act, there is the mental side of it, too. A very difficult beast to tame, IMO.

For me, I viewed smoking as my last, personal vice. As I've grown up and grown older, the vices of youth gave way to the responsibilties and sensibilities of maturity. But I held on to smoking. It was my last "take that, society and shove it" stronghold from the person I used to be. Yes, I am addicted to nicotine and to the physical pleasure that smoking brings me. But I was also caught-up in the headgame of the addiction, itself. It was the last part of the "old" me and I didn't want to let it go. Even though I knew the analogs were killing me, it was MINE.

I have been vaping for nearly 11 months now. My last analog was 4 months ago. And that was the first one I'd had since I'd "quit" 3 months into vaping. I have been encouraging my DH to switch. He hasn't. He tries, but it just isn't there. He doesn't read the forums. He doesn't get excited enough about the potential to overcome his demon, lady nicotine ala cigs/cigarillos. But I have hope. I offer new juices on different PVs at different strengths. And then I walk away, not from him but from "pushing" him. Because, what I see as gentle encouragement is often mis-construed by him as a matter of me trying to "control" or "judge" him for his "short-comings" at not having been able to switch right away, or wanting to switch right away. And that'll never work.

So, I guess I'm just trying to say that vaping is so much more than flavors, PVs, atties/cartos, and quitting smoking. It is a life-style choice and a life-style change. And, that is a major stressor, a major rift in the continuum of normal for a person who needs to feel in control. A person like me. Or my DH. Or, just guessing here, many others who have been exposed to vaping but just haven't fallen head-over-heels into it.

I am not trying to degrade your wife, her personality or your relationship with her. I am just saying that, from a person who viewed smoking as the last thing I had complete and total control over in my chaotic life that maybe there's more to the picture than the obvious "I can't find the right juice".

I wholeheartedly agree with the horse to water analogy. You've done your best by making it available to her, but letting her see how happy you are that it works for you, that you love her so much that you want the best for her health and happiness. But, it may take a while for her to drink. If ever. And that's OK, too, because you're there for her, regardless.

 

[mlinky]

Really, what Pokey says makes a lot of sense. Give it time, and stop talking about it. It needs to be something that she decides on her own terms...I don't think she will be comfortable "following" you now, especially if it is something that is a big deal to you, and that you know a lot more about. I bet if you just stop saying anything, sooner or later she starts doing research on her own, and ends up surprising you when you walk into the house and there she is with some really exotic mod that she will be able to teach you about.