My reply to someone who told me I was inhaling pure nicotine:
[Jumps back a step. Eyes wide open in shock. Delivery is increasingly hysterical.]
Oh my gawd! Are you kidding? Pure nicotine?! I've been inhaling PURE NICOTINE! But... But....
[gasps]
I SHOULD BE DEAD! The first puff should have killed me! KILLED ME!
[Assumes wonderous expression. Delivery is filled with quiet awe.]
But I'm not dead. [louder, with conviction.] Not dead!
[Waves arms. Looks up, as if toward heaven.]
I'M ALIVE! IT'S A MIRACLE. HALLELUJA! PRAISE BE! IT'S A MIRACLE!
[Vapes. Looks lovingly at
ecig while exhaling.]