Feedback welcome

[Kent Brooks]

Here is rough draft of an excerpt I wrote for the "menu" we intend to provide to our prospective retailers.

I submit it to all of you for honest and candid feedback...

Nicoticket has come to mean family. The establishment within which you find yourself is part of that family – a carefully selected partner we have chosen because of their dedication to YOU, the vaper. If you are new to the vaping community, I congratulate you on the steps that led you to this moment – and invite you to join us in a community movement unlike anything the vaping industry has seen before. If you are a seasoned veteran coming to us from another vendor, let me be the first to welcome you to a new path – one in which you can stick your chest out a little bit and “tell ‘em what’s in the tank” knowing you have world-class value in the atty. And for you salty-dog regulars – thank you. Thank you for loyalty you have shown - thank you for giving Katy and I the opportunity to prove that “Blood is Thicker than eliquid.” Enjoy the vape. ~ “Clark” Kent Brooks, MS, PLMHP

(sidenote - I am looking for some eccentric verbiage to describe the liquid - contributions welcome!)

FRUIT

• Betelgeuse – Our first truly exceptional recipe - Betelgeuse got us "off the launch-pad." An eclectic explosion of fruit flavors featuring notes of Raspberry, Mango, Pineapple, and Strawberry. Regulars with refined palates note that it's constantly changing, like a chameleon - "this is anything but another fruit punch." Like a swift kick in the taste buds - but with no pain or loss of dignity. PG/VG Ratio: 65/35

• Gravity – Ground control to Major Tom. You are feeling attracted to a delightful medley of juicy peaches and sweet tangerines orbiting around tart cranberries laced with pomegranate bazinga! Vertical customers say it tastes like a Baha Blasted Beverage that descended from the Mountain and landed in Taco Hell. Frequently used by space travelers as a "palate cleanser." PG/VG Ratio: 65/35

BAKERY

• Custard’s Last Stand – It's a shame General Custer didn't have the opportunity to try this! It's thick; it’s creamy; it’s decadent; it’s vanilla custard. Made with a generous amount of our in-house vanilla extract derived from from all-natural vanilla beans sourced in Madagascar. PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Creme Brulee Features our famous vanilla custard base with a shot of “burnt caramel.” Mix 50% CLS with 50% CB to yield "Naki's Blend." PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Grandma’s Cinnamon Danish Features a delectable medley of bakery-style cinnamon, buttery Danish pastry, and creamy confectionery style icing. Add a dash (10%) of GCD to CLS, CB, or Frenilla for a sinful bakery treat. PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Frenilla - Captures the rich, decadent, complex flavors of traditional French Vanilla without the custard notes. Made with generous amounts of our in-house vanilla extract. Mixes well with virtually everything. PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Strawnilla – Pairs Frenilla with a ripe "natural" strawberry - reminiscent of strawberry flavored milk or fresh strawberries intricately blended into a decadent cream. You've tried the rest - now try the best. PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Got Cookie? – A thin mint that gradually transforms into an black and white cookie. Double stuff it by adding a little Frenilla. Mix 30% Strawnilla with 70% "Got Cookie?" to yield chocolate covered strawberries. PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

TOBACCO

• The Virus - Get #INFECTED! Our most complex offering - notes of chocolate, coffee, peanuts, honey, caramel, vanilla, and maple syrup serve to accent an even bodied naturally-extracted tobacco flavor. PG/VG Ratio: 65/35[/B]

• Wakonda - This tribal treat features a bold, authentic, dark roast coffee paired our in-house vanilla extract, a dollop of vanilla custard, and a very faint undertone of naturally-extracted tobacco. “May the Sacred Vapor Never Dissipate"

 

[dragonflie]

I love this. And there was no doubt I would. I hope you get a chance to speak to One Step Above, in my neck of the woods. I am a fan of theirs for the same reasons I'm a fan of yours; I respect how they do business.

Sent from my Droid Maxx via Tapatalk

 

[ThunderPack]

Got Cookie? - Imagine the following: You're 12 again and your parents let you stay home alone while they run errands. What do you do? Grab the OR3O's, a glass of milk, and watch R rated movies on HBO. That's right, you're pretty much a badass. Now it's 2014 and you're a little bit older, but you don't have to feel older. Feel young and feel like that badass again. BYOM (Bring your own milk). Also mixes well with several other NT liquids: A little Frenilla to make it double stuffed. A little Cheesecake and you have Oreo cheesecake (NOM NOM NOM). Strawnilla makes chocolate covered strawberries, and a glass of milk! PG/VG: 30/70 (hahaha do it! )

 

[Augmented Dog]

Excellent start.
I'm gonna bend some brain cells on this and post back.
It is truly exciting to experience seeing the NT chrysalis open to release the next incarnation of your vision.
[emoji41]

 

[Grrrr]

If you are seasoned veteran ----- If you are a seasoned veteran

 

[Kent Brooks]

Got Cookie? - Imagine the following: You're 12 again and your parents let you stay home alone while they run errands. What do you do? Grab the OR3O's, a glass of milk, and watch R rated movies on HBO. That's right, you're pretty much a badass. Now it's 2014 and you're a little bit older, but you don't have to feel older. Feel young and feel like that badass again. BYOM (Bring your own milk). Also mixes well with several other NT liquids: A little Frenilla to make it double stuffed. A little Cheesecake and you have Oreo cheesecake (NOM NOM NOM). Strawnilla makes chocolate covered strawberries, and a glass of milk! PG/VG: 30/70 (hahaha do it! )

So much #WIN - revised a little bit to take out copyright issues. Further revision welcome!! You rock ThunderPack!

 

[Kent Brooks]

If you are seasoned veteran ----- If you are a seasoned veteran

Noted, and revised! Thank yoU Grrrr!!

 

[Kent Brooks]

I love this. And there was no doubt I would. I hope you get a chance to speak to One Step Above, in my neck of the woods. I am a fan of theirs for the same reasons I'm a fan of yours; I respect how they do business.

Sent from my Droid Maxx via Tapatalk

Noted! I am not to the point where I am chasing people down, yet... but I will get there, eventually XOXO

 

[Kent Brooks]

As an aside - this is a great opportunity to bust out some of the "legendary mixing combos" that are probably slipping my mind.

 

[sketchness]

Betelgeuse - Like a swift kick in the taste buds. But with no pain or loss of dignity. Even guys can vape this stuff!

 

[ThunderPack]

So much #WIN - revised a little bit to take out copyright issues. Further revision welcome!! You rock ThunderPack!

Thanks. Just glad I can help out with the one company that single-handedly makes my day at work 50% easier.

 

[built4feel]

I love this. And there was no doubt I would. I hope you get a chance to speak to One Step Above, in my neck of the woods. I am a fan of theirs for the same reasons I'm a fan of yours; I respect how they do business.

Sent from my Droid Maxx via Tapatalk

LOL, we got one of those in york... I'm guessing that you go to the, newer, Lancaster one?
EDIT: (yes, they are very poplular around here...I need to revisit them... and show off some NT


Clark, I like the menu.
IMO, everything sounds great...except Creme Brulee... I'd rather something like, "Taking carmel to the next level, CB promotes heatlhy teeth while your mouth feels the sweet" Or something more... thats all I got haha

 

[dragonflie]

LOL, we got one of those in york... I'm guessing that you go to the, newer, Lancaster one?
Anyways...yes, I do plan on going back in there and representing NT... (hopefully they've upped their level of customer interaction/service by now- thats all Im gonna say)...


Clark, I like the menu.
IMO, everything sounds great...except Creme Brulee... I'd rather something like, "Taking carmel to the next level, CB promotes heatlhy teeth while your mouth feels the sweet" Or something more... thats all I got haha

Yes, indeed! I've never been to the one in York, only Lancaster. My experience there has only been positive though. Everyone at that location is quite passionate and knowledgeable, so far at least. I'm 30 minutes from there, if it was closer I'd probably hang out every day lol.

Sent from my Droid Maxx via Tapatalk

 

[rmacaronio]

Pour an tall glass of milk.

*Pour a tall glass of milk.

I'm sure you would have caught that after re-reading

 

[built4feel]

Yes, indeed! I've never been to the one in York, only Lancaster. My experience there has only been positive though. Everyone at that location is quite passionate and knowledgeable, so far at least. I'm 30 minutes from there, if it was closer I'd probably hang out every day lol.

Sent from my Droid Maxx via Tapatalk

They were pretty cool, especially since they stayed 30 minutes after closing to let me try flavors and such... I was very new at vaping... so they probably didn't wanna scare me away by talking about their ohms...I need to revist them asap to see what's changed/what I missed the first/only time...their prices were steep...thats why I never went back.

Everyone I know that vapes or asks me about it, always mentions them...then I always mention NT lol... would be easier if they already carried NT though

 

[rmacaronio]

Stick your chest out and tell em what's in the tank.

I like!

 

[LynnNC]

one thing I did catch...in the description of Gravity, "some" say. That's subjective...who are some? Try rewording...our customers say or folks who have purchased this says...the vaping community...anything but "some"

 

[Ladiekali]

I think the best of statements should be at the end. The description is more important than a ecf rating. I also think nicoticket has come to mean family, sounds better than nicoticket means family. The well intentioned steps doesn't really flow. - and invite you, maybe I or we invite you, not and. Instead of if you are a seasoned veteran, maybe, are you a seasoned veteran or to those who are seasoned veterans. . . . Welcome you to a new path. a path in which you can. . . Get rid of a lot of those ands. The first paragraph is a long run on sentence and I had to read it a couple of times to catch the tone of which you are trying to convey. I did not find that it flowed.

Wakonda, authentic bold dark roasted coffee.
The virus , changes profiles more frequently than a teenage drama queen should be first, it's catchy. Easy to read and interesting.
Got cookie, bring your own milk first, it's catchy, makes me more willing to read a long paragraph
Strawilla needs a one liner.
Beetlegeuse, the flavor that got us off the launchpad, mention that first, makes me interested to read more.

I like the one liners, so a couple juices are missing those.
I don't like the term atty, doesn't flow. And agree about some say, who is that? Some of the family say? . . .

That's my input. I like proof reading though!

 

[keepsmiling]

I think some people could take this the wrong way..
“Changes flavor profiles more frequently than a teenage drama queen changes clothes."

Rather ~suggest it is like a chameleon, constantly changing. I am sure a catchy line could be made with that in mind.

 

[zapped]

Here is rough draft of an excerpt I wrote for the "menu" we intend to provide to our prospective retailers.

I submit it to all of you for honest and candid feedback...

Nicoticket means family. The establishment within which you find yourself is part of that family – a carefully selected partner we have chosen because of their dedication to YOU, the vaper. If you are new to the vaping community, I congratulate you on the well intentioned steps that led you to this moment – and invite you to join us in a community movement unlike anything the vaping industry has seen before. If you are a seasoned veteran coming to us from another vendor, let me be the first to welcome you to a new path – one in which you can stick your chest out a little bit and “tell ‘em what’s in the tank” knowing you have world-class value in the atty. And for you salty-dog regulars – thank you. Thank you for loyalty you have shown - thank you for giving Katy and I the opportunity to prove that “Blood is Thicker than eLiquid.” Enjoy the vape. ~ “Clark” Kent Brooks, MS, PLMHP

(sidenote - I am looking for some eccentric verbiage to describe the liquid - contributions welcome!)

FRUIT

• Gravity (GTY) – Tied for 1^st Place, Fruit, Best of ECF 2013. An enigmatic and enticing blend of mouth-wateringTangerine, Cranberry, Peach, and Pomegranate. Some say it tastes like a Baha Blasted Beverage that descended from the Mountain and landed in Taco Hell. PG/VG Ratio: 65/35

• Betelgeuse (BG) – Tied for 1^st Place, Fruit, Best of ECF 2013. An epicurean explosion of fruit flavors featuring Raspberry, Mango, Pineapple, and Strawberry. This is our most beloved and time-tested recipe… Betelgeuse is the flavor that “got us off the launchpad” in April of 2013! Just be careful not to say it three times in a row or you-know-who will appear! PG/VG Ratio: 65/35

BAKERY

• Custard’s Last Stand (CLS) – 1^st Place, Bakery, Best of ECF 2013. It's thick; it’s creamy; it’s decadent; it’s vanilla custard. Made with a generous amount of our in-house vanilla extract, derived from from all-natural vanilla beans sourced in Madagascar. It's a shame General Custer never got a chance to enjoy this, but if he did, we know he would have went with a smile on his face![B]PG/VG Ratio: 50/50[/B]

• Crème Brûlée (CB) – 2^st Place, Bakery, Best of ECF 2013. Features our famous vanilla custard base with a shot of “toasted caramel.” Flavor so good even Gordon Ramsey would give it a F$% YEAH! Mix 50% CLS with 50% CB to yield "Naki's Blend." PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Grandma’s Cinnamon Danish (GCD) – 3^rd Place, Bakery, Best of ECF 2013. Features a delectable medley of bakery-style cinnamon, buttery Danish pastry, and creamy confectionery style icing. Add a dash (10%) of GCD to CLS, CB, or Frenilla for a sinful bakery treat that's grandmother approved! PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Frenilla – Captures the rich, decadent, complex flavors of traditional French Vanilla without the custard notes. Made with generous amounts of our in-house vanilla extract. Mixes well with virtually everything while adding layers of complexity and good, old-fashioned vanilla bean goodness! PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Strawnilla – Pairs Frenilla with a ripe "natural" strawberry - reminiscent of strawberry flavored milk and good enough satisfy Quick bunnies everywhere! PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

• Got Cookie? – You're 12 again and your parents let you stay home alone while they run errands. First order of business: raid the cookie jar, pour a tall glass of milk, and twist the chocolatey wafers until you get the filling on the right side (or was it the left?) Fast forward: you're a little bit older and a little bit rounder, but all is not lost - embrace your inner child without having to work it off at the gym later. BYOM (Bring your own milk)! Add little Frenilla to make it "double stuffed." Mix 30% Strawnilla with 70% "Got Cookie?" to yield chocolate covered strawberries. PG/VG Ratio: 50/50

TOBACCO

• The Virus - 1^st Place, Tobacco, Best of ECF 2013. Winner - Best Overall eLiquid, Best of ECF 2013. Notes of chocolate, coffee, peanuts, honey, caramel, vanilla, and maple syrup serve to accent an even bodied naturally-extracted tobacco flavor. “Changes flavor profiles more frequently than a teenage drama queen changes clothes." #INFECTED PG/VG Ratio: 65/35

• Wakonda - features a bold, authentic, dark roast coffee paired our in-house vanilla extract, a dollop of vanilla custard, and a very faint undertone of naturally-extracted tobacco. “May the Sacred Vapor Never Dissipate"

Hows that?