LEAFORD!!!!YouTube - Leaford's New and Improved E-Cigarette Review System (e-cig, electronic cigarette) LOL
A stranger who's been trekking through the desert for days and days walks into a bar absolutely parched and desperate for a drink..... bad news he checks his pockets and has no money....
So after contemplating his situation, he begs and pleads to the bar man to give him a drink on the house exclaiming: 'I'll do anything'.... the barman initially appears immune to the strangers pleas and won't budge, but finally after 1/2 an hour of begging, caves in and decides to offer him the choice of doing 3 tasks in return for a night of free drinks.
Barman:
'First of all, you see that Big Fella over there in the corner with the knuckledusters? I want you to first pick a fight with him and then pin him to the ground until he submits.
If/After this task is completed, we have a Camel in the back yard who has a bad tempered disposition and a tooth abcess which is causing bad smell and pain. I want you to remove the dead tooth and bring it back to me as evidence.
Finally, we have an elderly lady living upstairs who hasn't had an orgasm for many years and is driving me mad with her constant demands for sex. So i want you to go upstairs and satisfy all her sexual desires so she no longer hassles me.'
The stranger who by this stage is delirious with thirst, throws himself head on into the first task. After an hour of many blows exchanged, the desperate stranger succeeds in pinning down his first quarry.
The barman signals him towards the Camel in the back yard.
5 hours pass and many strange noises are emitting from the back yard.... the bar man is now starting to worry a little as it is nearing closing time and his beloved camel sounds as though it is taking quite a beating.
Finally after 8 long hours the - by now - rabid, hysterical stranger staggers back into the main bar beaming, and with a look of oblivious triumph on his face exclaims: 'So that's your Camel done, now where's this old girl with the tooth abcess?!!!!'
LMAO thats sick!
20 Years In Jail
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs.
He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail'?"
"Yes, I do," she said. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, " You know, I would have gotten out today. "
? Watching a game, having a Red Bull, vaping my GG.
