So I need you to picture the scene. I'm a kinda big guy. 6'2" and about 285. It's hard to imagine someone of my considerable mass taking a bath. Most fat folks like me take showers. It just makes more sense....water displacement and all. But, like a big happy pig wallowing in his mud hole, I happen to enjoy letting a hot bath pull the stresses of the day away and last night was one of those occasions. Hey, ever notice when you're in a humid environment how vapor will linger far longer. Yeah I know, makes sense with the dew point and all that jazz, but it's still fascinating.
Anyway, beside the tub I have a little table and when I'm slumbering in the hot water I'll keep my PV there. I lay there taking big pulls off my iTaste VTR till there is a dense fog and about 10 inches of visibility in the bathroom. And like a responsible person who uses electronics while bathing, I put the VTR back on the table when I'm done.
When I got out of the tub and dried off, I started putting a favorite, albeit threadbare, pair of shorts on that has a bit of trim around the legs. Unbeknownst to me a bit of that trim had come loose, maybe about 3 inches worth. Well as I am getting up in age a little with all the vision problems that comes with age, I never saw this imperfection. Besides, "Cocky", the mascot for the Carolina Gamecocks, is embroidered on the other leg. Surely the NCAA gods would smile on a devoted fan of this team considering the kind of football season they've had. But no, not even after watching my team lose so many games in the final moments of the last quarter where they lead by 2 scores would the fates find me worthy of some measure of auspice. No, the fates had other plans.
I find it terribly amusing how problems come in bunches. Peaks and valleys. Sometimes life is smooth sailing....all green lights and winning scratch offs. Other times you hit every red light or bump in the road, nothing goes your way. I've had my share of good luck streaks...God knows it's true. I've also had my share of valleys. Last night when I was pulling on those shorts, I realized the "dropsies" I've had lately were just part of that big ol' valley I've been in for a week or so - as an aside I broke my favorite coffee mug this morning. Anyway, I put my left leg in, all is good. I hold my right leg up....left foot is steady. I'm not wobbling or anything...all seems ok. Then my big toe on my right foot decided it didn't want to go through the leg hold of my shorts, but rather like a ferret, chose to find that little loop of fabric where the trim had come loose.
Oh God....what to do? I frantically studied the landscape. Look, there, I can grab the edge of the vanity for support. Crap....lost my grip. Ok, now what? I'll grab the door handle. Shoot!!! Too far to reach. Wait a second, let me bend my left leg and get lower....wait, all options are off the table. Look out people, and brace for impact...this thing is going down!
Like some ancient Redwood tree I began my descent. I found it surreal that my mind was still working out contingencies...desperate to find some escape from what appeared to be impending doom. I pictured hitting the back of my head on the edge of the tub, earning an enormous contusion for my effort. I thought about how I may break a hip or elbow. I even had time as my mind was racing to contemplate how this may be the end for me...sadly unable to enjoy yet another of my wife's outstanding turkey dinners in 2 days time. But as many things as I though of while travelling the 6 feet distance to the floor, not once did I think of my VTR.
There it sat, totally oblivious to the fate it was about to suffer. For as the prior chain of events may sound like a bit of time, in fact there had only been enough for me to towel off after my bath, but not enough for the water to drain from the tub. My Sasquatch-like frame bounced off the floor, being propelled backward off my shapely backsides. Into the side table I went, and into the draining tub water went the VTR.
Aside from the sheer disgust at the thoughts of what creepy-crawly might have found it's way into my Nautilus, the thought that I just destroyed a $100 chunk of vaping equipment had me in hysterics. I jumped up off the floor before even surveying the damage to myself or my poor bathroom, and snagged the device from the water like some starving pelican who just saw the first fish of his life. Popped open the battery door and took out the battery, staring in absolute disbelief as I watched the sullied water escaping through the battery hold and vent holes.
I've done it now! Goodbye VTR. We had a good run. You've sent just the right amount of DC current I needed to fire up my reason to not smoke. You've been there when other devices took early retirement. I'm sorry I wasn't a better father, but I hope now that I've killed you that you realize...I do love you!
Ok, maybe I was a little early calling the coroner. I shook out as much moisture as I could then place the VTR in a ziplock bag with some rice overnight. I checked it this morning and it worked but I put it back into the bag and sealed it for the rest of the day today. I can only imagine it is bone dry by now, but I'll let it rest until tomorrow. Perhaps I'll take it out after that lovely Thanksgiving meal my wife prepares. Put on a different tank with a new BVC coil, and vape some new juice I've made but not tried using yet - espresso, caramel cream and orange cream. I'm looking forward to tasting it, but just hope it doesn't taste like a sweaty fat dude.
The end.
Anyway, beside the tub I have a little table and when I'm slumbering in the hot water I'll keep my PV there. I lay there taking big pulls off my iTaste VTR till there is a dense fog and about 10 inches of visibility in the bathroom. And like a responsible person who uses electronics while bathing, I put the VTR back on the table when I'm done.
When I got out of the tub and dried off, I started putting a favorite, albeit threadbare, pair of shorts on that has a bit of trim around the legs. Unbeknownst to me a bit of that trim had come loose, maybe about 3 inches worth. Well as I am getting up in age a little with all the vision problems that comes with age, I never saw this imperfection. Besides, "Cocky", the mascot for the Carolina Gamecocks, is embroidered on the other leg. Surely the NCAA gods would smile on a devoted fan of this team considering the kind of football season they've had. But no, not even after watching my team lose so many games in the final moments of the last quarter where they lead by 2 scores would the fates find me worthy of some measure of auspice. No, the fates had other plans.
I find it terribly amusing how problems come in bunches. Peaks and valleys. Sometimes life is smooth sailing....all green lights and winning scratch offs. Other times you hit every red light or bump in the road, nothing goes your way. I've had my share of good luck streaks...God knows it's true. I've also had my share of valleys. Last night when I was pulling on those shorts, I realized the "dropsies" I've had lately were just part of that big ol' valley I've been in for a week or so - as an aside I broke my favorite coffee mug this morning. Anyway, I put my left leg in, all is good. I hold my right leg up....left foot is steady. I'm not wobbling or anything...all seems ok. Then my big toe on my right foot decided it didn't want to go through the leg hold of my shorts, but rather like a ferret, chose to find that little loop of fabric where the trim had come loose.
Oh God....what to do? I frantically studied the landscape. Look, there, I can grab the edge of the vanity for support. Crap....lost my grip. Ok, now what? I'll grab the door handle. Shoot!!! Too far to reach. Wait a second, let me bend my left leg and get lower....wait, all options are off the table. Look out people, and brace for impact...this thing is going down!
Like some ancient Redwood tree I began my descent. I found it surreal that my mind was still working out contingencies...desperate to find some escape from what appeared to be impending doom. I pictured hitting the back of my head on the edge of the tub, earning an enormous contusion for my effort. I thought about how I may break a hip or elbow. I even had time as my mind was racing to contemplate how this may be the end for me...sadly unable to enjoy yet another of my wife's outstanding turkey dinners in 2 days time. But as many things as I though of while travelling the 6 feet distance to the floor, not once did I think of my VTR.
There it sat, totally oblivious to the fate it was about to suffer. For as the prior chain of events may sound like a bit of time, in fact there had only been enough for me to towel off after my bath, but not enough for the water to drain from the tub. My Sasquatch-like frame bounced off the floor, being propelled backward off my shapely backsides. Into the side table I went, and into the draining tub water went the VTR.
Aside from the sheer disgust at the thoughts of what creepy-crawly might have found it's way into my Nautilus, the thought that I just destroyed a $100 chunk of vaping equipment had me in hysterics. I jumped up off the floor before even surveying the damage to myself or my poor bathroom, and snagged the device from the water like some starving pelican who just saw the first fish of his life. Popped open the battery door and took out the battery, staring in absolute disbelief as I watched the sullied water escaping through the battery hold and vent holes.
I've done it now! Goodbye VTR. We had a good run. You've sent just the right amount of DC current I needed to fire up my reason to not smoke. You've been there when other devices took early retirement. I'm sorry I wasn't a better father, but I hope now that I've killed you that you realize...I do love you!
Ok, maybe I was a little early calling the coroner. I shook out as much moisture as I could then place the VTR in a ziplock bag with some rice overnight. I checked it this morning and it worked but I put it back into the bag and sealed it for the rest of the day today. I can only imagine it is bone dry by now, but I'll let it rest until tomorrow. Perhaps I'll take it out after that lovely Thanksgiving meal my wife prepares. Put on a different tank with a new BVC coil, and vape some new juice I've made but not tried using yet - espresso, caramel cream and orange cream. I'm looking forward to tasting it, but just hope it doesn't taste like a sweaty fat dude.
The end.
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So funny, SthrnCelt! Isn't it amazing how important to us our "gear" becomes.......Kinda like the last few cigarettes in that last pack in the house. 
