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A Little Humor

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chimney55

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Oct 7, 2010
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Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were
swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called
Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that
inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed
up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any
worries about being eaten."


A large mysterious cod appeared & said, "Your wish is granted", and lo
and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately
swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.


Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark
boring & lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came
close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance
was the cause of his sad plight.


Whilst swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he
thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and lo and behold,
he found himself turned back into a prawn.


With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his
friends and bought them all a cocktail.


Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his
old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked.


"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to
the enemy and became a shark",was the reply.


Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he
set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories
came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me,
Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."


Christian replied,"No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the
enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."


Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed...."
"I've found Cod and I'm a Prawn again Christian!​



 

bassthumper

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Jul 4, 2010
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I have one!
An elderly couple go to the doctor's for their checkup. The doc asks the old man "how is everything?"
"great!" says the old man. "my arthritis is feeling better, and my bladder has been doing better too-"
The old man looks at the doc and says " the good Lord even turns the light on for me when I get up to pee in the middle of the night!"
The doctor kinda looks confused and then it's the woman's turn.
"how have you been?"
"great" says the older lady. "my blood pressure is down and I've been getting some exercise."
"that's good" says the doc. "but I couldn't help but worry about how your husband claimed the Lord was turning on the light for him to urinate in the middle of the night...."
"Oh dear," replies the old lady. "that poor soul has been ...... in the refridgerator again...."


:)
 

SuZamme

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.

How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb? CHANGE?!!!

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.

How many tv evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.

How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? None: Candles only.

How many Amish does it take to change a lightbulb? What's a light bulb?

How many Polygamous Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!

How many Unitarians does it take to change a lightbulb? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
 

chimney55

Vaping Master
ECF Veteran
Oct 7, 2010
3,170
1,689
NW Arkansas
I have one!
An elderly couple go to the doctor's for their checkup. The doc asks the old man "how is everything?"
"great!" says the old man. "my arthritis is feeling better, and my bladder has been doing better too-"
The old man looks at the doc and says " the good Lord even turns the light on for me when I get up to pee in the middle of the night!"
The doctor kinda looks confused and then it's the woman's turn.
"how have you been?"
"great" says the older lady. "my blood pressure is down and I've been getting some exercise."
"that's good" says the doc. "but I couldn't help but worry about how your husband claimed the Lord was turning on the light for him to urinate in the middle of the night...."
"Oh dear," replies the old lady. "that poor soul has been ...... in the refridgerator again...."


:)

I nearly bust a gut the first time that I read that one!! :lol:
 
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