The Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING
SEX
(because they are plugged into a genius)
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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING
SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
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3.. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO
FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR
BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their ....-hole and they vapour lock)
-----------------------------------------------
(You're laughing, aren't you?)
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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN
DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE
WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET
SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
-----------------------------------------------
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde
jokes!)
-----------------------------------------------
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON
EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your
face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an
old sour fart!
-----------------------------------------------
One day my housework-challenged husband
decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped
into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on ' your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
And they say blondes are dumb...
---------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am
going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what
do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
she replied. 'Probably that I married you for your money,'
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my
man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
----------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your
bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading
your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING
SEX
(because they are plugged into a genius)
----------------------------------------------
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING
SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
-----------------------------------------------
3.. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO
FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR
BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their ....-hole and they vapour lock)
-----------------------------------------------
(You're laughing, aren't you?)
-----------------------------------------------
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN
DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
----------------------------------------------
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE
WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET
SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
-----------------------------------------------
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde
jokes!)
-----------------------------------------------
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON
EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
-----------------------------------------------
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your
face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an
old sour fart!
-----------------------------------------------
One day my housework-challenged husband
decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped
into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on ' your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
And they say blondes are dumb...
---------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am
going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what
do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
she replied. 'Probably that I married you for your money,'
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
---------------------------------------
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my
man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
----------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your
bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading
your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
.
