another smoking related death

[pianoguy]

I am very sorry for your loss. Smoking isn't rational - it killed my father in 1981 and my mother and father-in-law in 1993, as well as a number of family friends along the way, and I continued to smoke until 2009. The alternatives we have today weren't available back then, but I can't say with any certainty that I would've used them if they were. I am quite happy I that I made the switch when I did, though, and hopefully your wife will find her way to do so as well. But it'll have to be her own epiphany.

 

[ad356]

honestly i was still smoking until i went to the funeral, although i had cut back signficantly to maybe 2-3 cigarettes a day vaping the rest of the time. i had only asked my wife to cut back for the longest time, not fully quit. however she continued to smoke 1+ packs per day. the funeral was enough to make me not want to put my family through the awful experiance that my freinds mother has put her own family through. im more concerned about the people that get left behind then myself. when im dead im not suffering however everyone left behind is in great pain. she was a nice woman but her family tried repeatedly to get her to quit. my wife cant seem to cut back her intake and smoke less so she must quit.

i would also get ...... off at her because she would say im a hypocrite when i was still smoking. i went from 1+ packs per day to a couple and she called me a hypocrite. i had only asked her to make SOME effort to cut back. i had not told her she needed to quit therefore i wasnt being a hypocrite.

now i know she need to quit completely since she cannot control herself.

the funeral was kind of like a wake up call for me. 60 is far, far to young to die from something so preventable. i will live to be 80 if i can still be functional at that age. i want to live as long as i can still be a useful human being. when i can no longer eat, walk, and do normal every day tasks is when i have outlived my usefullness

 

[VapingRulz]

I think that everyone understands your frustration with your wife's smoking but you really need to back off and let her make her own decision. If you don't, she'll view it as a war of wills and will dig in and refuse to give vaping a fighting chance. A better strategy may be to start going places where she can't smoke - but you can vape. Give her a chance to envy the fact that vaping gives you more freedom. Let her see the benefits of switching; she has to have a desire to do so.

Don't worry overmuch about your child. It's better if he is in a non-smoking environment but when I was growing up nearly every adult smoked around kids and we survived and thrived. I strongly believe that the whole second-hand smoke thing is wildly exaggerated. Then again, when I was a kid we kept the windows open a lot no matter what the season; there were no sealed buildings back then.

 

[VapingRulz]

now i know she need to quit completely since she cannot control herself.

You do understand that it's a control issue, right? She is refusing to allow you to control whether or not she smokes. You need to accept that it is HER decision - not yours.

 

[ad356]

its very simple its her decision to smoke but its my decision weather or not i ill put up with it. for now i will tolerate it but i cannot see myself putting up with it for the next 20-30 years. hopefully she will quit with the provari.


can someone tell me the difference between 3.7V vaping and 5 volt vaping. i have never vaped at over 3.7 V.

 

[sbphotog]

I do understand your frustration.....I share your frustration. I harp about my husbands heavy smoking habit all the time, but nothing I say or do will change it until he wants to change it. All I can really do is encourage and hope.

 

[my4jewels]

I've been following this entire thread. Perhaps a compromise. I don't think that her smoking needs to be a "dealbreaker", but personally, I think it's very selfish on her part to smoke in your home and especially around your little son. If she's smoking in the house and car, you are both breathing in her 2nd hand smoke, and your little one smells like it, too. If she insists on smoking, make her do it outside.

My dad was a smoker, my mom was not, but after some tests, the doctor told her that her lungs condition was similar to his.

Hubby and I both smoked when we got married. Yes, we smoked in the house and in the car and around our children. We were young and selfish. After the children were grown, we continued to smoke in the house, but never when we had company or around the grandkids. Long before we started vaping, he quit cigs 3 years before I did. He used nic gum and had an occasional cigar on the golf course. At that point, I stopped smoking in our home and car. I will say it was NOT easy, especially in Maine winters, but I loved him enough to do it.

Be patient with your wife, but I'd insist she not smoke around you or your son. Settle yourself down before you talk to her. She should be the person you love most in this life, so show her by your words and thoughtfulness.

The Provari will give her variable volt vaping, not just 5V. A good choice is 3 ohm(standard) cartomizers. She'll be able to adjust the voltage up or down as she like. Voltage can make it cooler or warmer on the draw. I started with an ego, and when I went VV, I never looked back. Also, look into a cartotank like the Liquinator to make it easier for her because of less refilling. She also needs a flavor she likes, which is the hardest part for some of us. IMHO, there is a world of difference to higher voltage vaping. You can choose what you want your vape to be like.

 

[glowgirl]

Yeah I know she will. Thank you for saying that. Age has a way of forcing us to take care of ourselves

Yeah, good point.

Your niece will quit eventually as I did. I have asthma and after 14 years of smoking, I got to a point where I was using my inhaler like 14 times a day. It was getting too expensive and too dangerous for me to keep smoking. Thank god for my e-cig.

 

[rustybikes]

FWIW, It would have gone much easier on me (and my bank account) if I'd found HV vaping earlier in my vaping experience. I didn't really struggle too much, but HV vaping did scratch that particular "itch". Also, don't be shy about "high" nic-levels for juice. I was at about a PAD when I quit (just over 4 months now) and was a little surprised that it took/takes 24+mg to make me happy.

 

[carpedebass]

Here's my opinion on the matter...if you REALLY want her to quit...stop beating her up over it. The more you insist, the more pressure she feels, and the more likely she will have another cigarette.

I agree with posters above that state that, among other things, if you were both smoking when you got married, you have no right to harp on her about it now. Seriously, if I were her, I'd kick YOU to the curb over hassling me about it.

Simply put, you should make vaping a more enjoyable experience for her if you want her to quit. It'll put the odds more in your favor for sure. Also, you cannot expect her to stop cold turkey. Lots of times people keep doing both until they figure out that they prefer vaping.

Kudos on getting here the Provari, but don't be surprised if she doesn't take to it right away. You're going to have to be patient with her. If she never quits smoking...that's who you married, dude. Live with it.

 

[rolygate]

@ad356

...the only thing that isnt found in foods is the nicotine.

Actually this is incorrect - nicotine is a normal ingredient of the diet, it's found in many vegetables. Everybody tests positive for nicotine in the blood, in tiny quantities (unless they only eat burgers). The CDC tested 800 people and all were positive, whether they were smokers, non-smokers, or had no contact with smokers.

Nicotine itself is not harmful, it is probably beneficial and one form of it is even a vitamin (nicotinic acid: niacin or vitamin B3). The problem is that it has been demonized by anti-tobacco and anti-nicotine extremists - who all probably drink coffee, wine, beer and whisky, making them the world's biggest hypocrites.

Of course, it is found in tiny quantities in most people. Some just seem to need more. Large quantities can be fatal, as with vitamin D. The difference between a nutrient, a medicine and a poison is the dose.

 

[rolygate]

Plus with my husband, I just kept buying him bigger and better PV's. No one can resist playing with a new toy. Eventually he got to like them better then smoking and quit. It was a few months after I quit. It took him a while to find the right juice, right atomizer and right voltage but when he did he was a happy camper.

I like this - a lot. You are exactly right. (My bolding in your text.)

 

[LibertariaNate]

Sorry for you loss.

As for your wife... Lead by example. Most (all) smokers realize cigarettes will likely result in an early death, but just need to find that special something that motivates them to quit. Before I quit there was a time when it felt like my wife was pressuring me to stop smoking. I honestly didn't care for it all. In fact, it just made me want to smoke more. We had a discussion where I told her that ultimately I wanted to quit, but it had to be on my terms and on my timeline. Being the wonderful and understanding woman she is, she backed off, and without the added pressure I finally quit.

Good luck.

 

[dee5]

When I first got into vaping my thought was that my husband would join me in this wonderful new alternative. He didn't. He quit cold turkey instead. I was mad! I wanted this to be something we did together! I went from 1 1/2 packs per day down to about 5 (smoked outside) and vaped the rest of the time. He then started doing the "repulsion" routine, waving his hand in front of his face and fake coughing, saying I stink, it's digusting...blah, blah, blah. He told/ tells me that this is something he has to do so that he won't pick up a cigarette. He has to reinforce in his mind how horrible a habit it is. It is fine to demonize smoking if you have to in order to stay quit, but like I told him, don't demonize me in the process! It was very hard on our marriage as he almost talked himself out of loving me. Please don't demonize your wife, your pressuring her will have the opposite effect than that which you desire.

 

[Baldr]

i offer for my wife to use my epower all of the time but she uses the excuse that it doesnt satisfy her.

Maybe it doesn't. Not everyone needs the same juice. It's possible that she needs a different flavor, or a higher nicotine level, or a lower nicotine level.

When I got my ego, I had been smoking over 3 packs a day. It dropped to around 1.5 packs a day overnight. In a month or so, I was down to 10-15 a day. But I stayed at that level for awhile. After eating, in particular, I would get cravings for a real cig, and vaping wouldn't make those cravings go away. Eventually, I got some juice with a higher nic level and started using the higher nic right after meals and any other time I'd get a craving. As *soon* as I started doing that, I stopped smoking. I didn't even finish the open pack I had - I gave that away a week or two later.

If I hadn't started using that higher nic juice, I'm pretty sure I would still be smoking. I don't use it all the time, only when I need to deal with a craving. The rest of the time, I use the same nic level I started on.

She may need a higher nic level than you are using. Or a lower nic level. Or she may not like the flavor you like, in which case she won't enjoy vaping because she's not getting what she wants, but what you want.

There is a learning curve when you start vaping. You have to inhale it different than a cigarette, you have to find a juice you like, you have to figure out what nicotine level works best for you, etc. You aren't giving her a chance to do any of that.

And with you telling her "Quit smoking, right now, do it my way, or I'm leaving you", she isn't likely to even want to try vaping.

Honestly, I don't think you care. I think you are just looking for excuses. It sounds like you've barely quit smoking yourself, and as soon as you did, you started ranting at your wife about it. You aren't interested in helping her find something that works for her, you're screaming "DO IT MY WAY". I'm pretty sure that isn't going to work.

 

[carpedebass]

Another thing...vaping, (while extremely effective) isn't the magic smoking cessation cure-all pill. You still have to WANT to quit smoking for it to really work. Most folks find it much more enjoyable and thus fall into this category completely by accident.

Thing is, if she doesn't want to quit, you're not going to make her, and IMHO would be foolish to try.

 

[Moonlit knight]

When I tell people about vaping, I stress the money side of things as well as the health side. And that seems to be more impressive to them, almost everyone says wow I'll have to try that. Saving money is an immediate reward that is more tangible and almost everyone needs to save money these days. Maybe you could put the money you save in a jar and pull the jar out after a week or a month and let her count it. Or you could put that money aside and tell her it's for a vacation or something like that. I don't know if you've looked into DIY yet but you can save even more money that way.

By the way I have a ProVari, and it's one of the best choices for a PV that you could have made. You may have to get a smaller device for starters though. Some new vaper are self-conscious about size and don't want to stand out in public. Good luck in your endeavors

 

[sixstringgirl]

My boyfriend was a PAD and me only a 4-5 a day. I informed him that we could only smoke outside. No more smoking in the house because of the kids. This caused a few spats for a few days following. Then, one day, I came home from work and he was the one that suggested e-cigs. I was all game for the idea. He loved it that he no longer had to go outside for a smoke. I totally fell for all the different flavors and now vape more than he him. His goal is to quit e-cigs. I have no intentions of quitting because its a truly enjoyable guilt-free hobby. My son in college is now vaping. I purchased an EGo starter kit for him. He said its awesome !
I know winter is just around the corner and my other half was not looking forward to freezing outside to have a ..... My home is now smoke free and everyone is happy.

 

[hairball]

Leaving your wife isn't the answer. You're angry over the funeral and losing someone you know then seeing what took place afterwards which is understandable but you yourself know that quitting smoking isn't easy. She said she needs more TH...the ProVari will accomplish that for her. Pair it with some Boge standard resistance cartomizers (3.0ohm) and she can vape up to 6V. Cinnamon, mint, menthol will all give her extra TH. Make sure she has an assortment of juices to try. Also, the nicotine content will also give TH so 18-24mg to start her off with is good. May even get a bottle of 36mg for days when cravings hit her.

 

[thewomenfolk]

Instead of an ultimatum, give her grace. She'll love you for it.