bumps into Joan Rivers, who was thrown overboard for telling a bad joke. As they looked at each other, up comes a shark and Joan turns to it and says
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"Can we talk??"... but the shark swallows her in one bite!!
Shane sees his chance to make a getaway while the shark is choking on Joan's extremely bad taste, so he swims as fast as he can, until...
Shane sees his chance to make a getaway while the shark is choking on Joan's extremely bad taste, so he swims as fast as he can, until...
he crashes into a rock! Dazed and sinking, he opens one eye to see a hand reaching down to him. As it pulls him to the surface, Shane realizes it's Courtney Love. In her other hand, she apparently has a cigarette. "Don't you realize how unhealthy that is?" Shane gasps, followed by "and where are your panties?" Courtney smiles and...
...Shane abruptly awakes from that horrible nightmare and quickly checks for genital warts. After quelling this fear he slowly begins to become aware of his surroundings. Dazed he realizes he is still underwater....yet...."how could this be!" he exclaims, startled by the sights surrounding him. Surrounding Shane is a massive bubble of glass, only the first of which comprises a massive underwater city. Astonished and confused he is quickly enveloped by an eerie feeling...this city..."this place is abandoned..."
Slightly disappointed by the lack of delicious warm and soft pastries of famed police notoriety, Shane begins the arduous task of escaping this underwater wasteland. "It must have been abandoned in a rush, it seems as though things were left right in place." As he muttered around among the flickering and whizzing neon lights he began to feel...
LMAO!!
"Whoa" he muttered to himself, "no doubt the result of decompression...but...how did I get here?" Beginning to desire some answers he made his way toward an ominous tower in the distance, rising out of the darkness of an old fashioned carnival and heaving toward the apex of the inexplicable underwater dome.
Shane wondered to himself, "Is this Disneyland?" As he approached, he realized that he was actually entering Wally World, where he was greeted by the Griswold family. "Are you the Griswold family?", Shane inquired, to which Chevy Chase replied...
"This ain't no Party... this ain't no Disco!! This ain't no foolin' around... "
Now Shane was really confused. "I thought you were the Griswold family from the movies?!" At this point, Chevy Chase removes his mask to reveal that it is actually David Byrne in disguise and the Talking Heads!. "Shhh... said David. We're taking an icognito vacation, just like last year. It's the same as it ever was..."
Shane violently shook his head at this revelation, "this can't be happening...what is this s**t!" To which this lunatic man with the appearance of Clark Griswold replied, "he owes us. He owes us, right? F-in A he owes us!" With this Shane frantically forced his way past the raving man and stumbled into the dilapidated carnival toward the tower. "Answers" he mumbled, "I have to find answers." In the background he heard lunatic cry out his warning, "rapture will come, you hear me, rapture will come for your soul!"
And then, Shane hears the sounds of Debbie Harry/Blondie's song "Rapture" blasting from the PA system in the amusement park... singing about 'men from Mars' eating cars, and thinks to himself: Is this the Rapture that crazy Chevy Chase/David Byrne man was shouting about??
As Shane moved further into the park, he realized that it was actually Debbie Harry(AKA Blondie) performing live! Shane approached the stage and gestured by extending his pinkie finger and thumb, holding it up to his ear, he mouthed the words, "Call me". Blondie continued to sing on but pointed back to the gates where Shane had first encountered the crazy Chevy/David Chase/Byrne person...
"Perhaps this city isn't eerie and abandoned after all," he thought, and just as this was crossing his mind he turned to find Blondie, the stage and the performers had disappeared. "What is happening to me!" he bellowed, "I need some answers." He wandered deeper toward the tower as a ray of faded sunlight, tinged blue by the depths of the sea, glistened over it. When he noticed out the corner of his eye a message spray-painted on the side of a battered carousel, it read, "no GodS oR kinGS oNly maN"
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Shane wondered to himself, Hmmm... now what could that possibly mean? No G-ds or Kings only man. "I know!" Shane said as he snapped his fingers. "It's an anagram!" It says, "Grandson Smoking Loony!" I must tell my grandson to start vaping instead of smoking, or he'll go loony!
At this point, Shane was off to find a Delorean as he was not old enough to be a grandfather yet. He needed to travel BACK TO THE FUTURE!!
At this point, Shane was off to find a Delorean as he was not old enough to be a grandfather yet. He needed to travel BACK TO THE FUTURE!!
But as luck would have it... Shane had misinterpreted the writing on the wall. When unscrambled, it actually said: DRAGONS KINGLY MONSOON!! And if he had looked up in the sky to the West, he would have indeed seen that there was a terrible storm a-brewing...
That it was to dark to see, so In frustration he took out his mod took a drag then suddenly !
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