Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse

[CES]

That's wild. I got mine because a friend bought a bunch of cans of the survival biscuits in a warehouse sale a few years ago- at that time they were still edible. not great, but edible. I wonder if cheez-its will hold up as well.


Appropriate to the zombie thread this is my favorite part of the wikipedia entry
"Until the late 1800s, the biscuit/cracker industry was made up of small independent local bakeries preparing products and selling them in bulk. The barrels and crates of biscuits were delivered by horse and wagon, set out in the grocery store and sold to the consumer by the measure. Since most of the products were dispensed in bulk, the smell of kerosene, meat, medicines/chemicals, smoke etc. as well as all kinds of pests permeated the exposed crackers." mmmm cookies ?!


edit: I just noticed that one of the ingredients listed on the can is PROPYLENE GLYCOL!!!! ROFL

 

[chrisl317]

They're so dry and old that you cough out of plume of vape after eating them.

ok, I'm going to tell a story about eating old surplus powdered eggs. Back when me and the wife ( then fiancé') were looking at rings at the local Folands. That morning, I decided to cook up this old pack of powered eggs for my breakfast. I get weird cravings and eat stuff that most normal people won't. Anyways, it was pretty good, again hot sauce and onions were cooked in the mix. So here we are later on at the store walking past the jewelery displays following a couple of gay guys. Hey, it was obvious, ok.
About that time I let out a SBD of flesh melting proportions that kind of clung for a couple of seconds. As we started to turn to the left and they to they right, this invisible cloud of acid flatulence decided on it's own to switch owners over to the nearest gay guy. Now, my wife was just barely holding her own upon sniffing this odiferous gas, I'm trying not to bust out laughing from her reaction. We're now about a good 15 feet away. The farthest gay guy suddenly stops, turns to the other and just makes the most scrunched up face and starts ripping into his bud who he thinks did it. We had to duck down a couple of aisles in the lawn and yard dept. because when that happened we just lost it completely. She still remembers that to this day, and I'm still proud of making the foulest fart I ever smelled. She won't let me eat powered eggs anymore either.

 

[CES]

so, Chris, you only get powdered eggs when you're in the trenches with the zombies and far, far, far away from everyone else. got it. sounds like a plan

 

[chrisl317]

so, Chris, you only get powdered eggs when you're in the trenches with the zombies and far, far, far away from everyone else. got it. sounds like a plan

I can do more damage to them if I'm on a flat grassy plain with a light breeze! Just make sure you all are up wind! Remember the scene in the "Ten Commandments" were "Death" the final plague rolls into Egypt in the middle of the night? Powdered Eggs!

 

[DragonVapor]

So no one has mentioned this... but a vital tool for survival as a human or a zombie is the ability to eat effectively... For that I recommend having a few of these Titanium Sporks on hand. As a human you can appreciate the nearly indestructible nature of the utensil... and as a zombie... what better way to make sure that you got every last bit of those delicious brains (may even be used to double as a pick for those hard to crack skulls)

You know... considering all the usefull things they have we should see if thinkgeek.com would put together a zombie apocalypse survial kit for us... so sporks usb solar panels... Brass knuckle coffee mugs astronaut ice cream... and whatever else... buying this things individual gets real pricey real fast

 

[CES]

OMG! a spork!! a metal spork! ROFL.

I have to have one, or 6.

 

[fivefivesix]

YouTube - Red vs. Blue...Zombies


in my plan, we all meet up at Starbucks

 

[CES]

Grande lowfat double carmel mocha frappacino, cinnamon, extra whip. Lots of napkins to wipe off the zombie goo.

 

[whynotvap]

Huh, my zombie plan seems over-simplistic now. I don't bother stocking up on weapons (there will be plenty laying around from LEO/others), food (who really has an empty pantry), or defense measures. No place is safe, only safer! The only thing I make sure is in the car is the machete, crowbar, and a couple flashlights and blankets. If you really plan on surviving, you'll have to figure out how to scavenge anyways right? My brother asked my what my Y2K plan was, I had a staggering personal arsenal in my car then, and what I'd do if I couldn't get to my car. I told him all you really need is a rock and a reaaaally good hiding place and you can get anything else later... He did a double take then started laughing.

 

[chrisl317]

Everyone must pack a towel. It is a very important survival tool, here and across the galaxy.

 

[omgitsthr33]

I think I am ready... especially with my extensive studying of "Shaun of the Dead", "28 Days Later", "28 Weeks Later", "Dawn of the Dead", and other epic zombie films.

Plus my vigorous training in Left 4 Dead, Left 4 Dead 2, Killing Floor, CSS:Zombie mod, Nation Red, Zombie Panic, Brainbread and Zombie Master.

And as chrisl317 said... don't forget to bring a towel. LOL

 

[CES]

good point. adds towel to survival list.

 

[DragonVapor]

Bath towel or beach towel?

 

[chrisl317]

West Coast - Beach towel
East Coast - Bath Towel

That's so we can tell where survivors are from!

Password is 42

 

[DragonVapor]

West Coast - Beach towel
East Coast - Bath Towel

That's so we can tell where survivors are from!

Password is 42

Thanks for all the fish!

 

[chrisl317]

Thanks for all the fish!

I stayed up late last night just to watch it again. Just about woke up the wife laughing when they're getting hit in the face with the fly swatters from the ground.

 

[fivefivesix]

a towel does not substitute for T.P. make sure you have some of that too, or you are going to have a fairly shltty zombie killing experience

 

[chrisl317]

a towel does not substitute for T.P. make sure you have some of that too, or you are going to have a fairly shltty zombie killing experience

Meh, newspapers, pine cones , your left hand, no big deal. But a towel is a must!



The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels...
"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."

Also works on earth bound zombies and space zombies.

BTW - no problem on the fish - enjoy!

Oh and another thing - Don't Panic!

 

[omgitsthr33]

a towel does not substitute for T.P. make sure you have some of that too, or you are going to have a fairly shltty zombie killing experience

Yeah some T.P. may be necessary. Maybe some Immodium AD too.

 

[whynotvap]

West Coast - Beach towel
East Coast - Bath Towel

That's so we can tell where survivors are from!

Password is 42

I was going to add in that you can soak different threads of your towel in protein, meds, etc. for use later but then it would give the left coast guys/gals an unfair advantage

Not that the big screen version of HGG was flawless, it was still good enough for me to want a sequel. Anyone heard anything about them continuing the saga on screen? I saw the BBC series ages ago, read all the books and even the 'new volume' by Eoin Colfer which isn't that bad really.

Shame about the babel fish though... we might be able to communicate with the undead then!