In a surprise move last night, Pink Provari was granted early release from her shopping cart prison. She was not due to complete her time until sometime in 2014. Authorities refused to comment on the reason for this, but rumors are running rampant.
Some are saying it was the red man on the shoulder, whose non-stop whisper campaign into the ear of the one-woman parole board finally broker her. Some are blaming anonymous Provari supporters whose never-ending praise can sometimes be construed as peer pressure. A high level source from the ProVarinati states unequivocally, "Nonsense! We never pressure anyone. We are simply happy when someone joins our ranks. While our information campaign may sometimes help them come to us earlier than planned, it is always purely voluntary."
Some are calling the move reckless, others compassionate. Regardless, Pink Provari is expected to be released sometime next week after all the paperwork is processed and travel arrangements are finalized. She will be accompanied by Extension Cap, Pila 4, Protank 2, and an honor guard composed of two 18490's and two 18650's.
Rumor also has it that Provai will be taken in by the parole board woman, but this has not been confirmed and she can not be reached for comment. Friends of the woman say her first thought upon pushing the button was "Oh god, what have I done?" Neighbors report seeing her through the windows of her home prancing around like the Kool-Aid man shouting "Oh Yeaaahhh!"
Some are saying it was the red man on the shoulder, whose non-stop whisper campaign into the ear of the one-woman parole board finally broker her. Some are blaming anonymous Provari supporters whose never-ending praise can sometimes be construed as peer pressure. A high level source from the ProVarinati states unequivocally, "Nonsense! We never pressure anyone. We are simply happy when someone joins our ranks. While our information campaign may sometimes help them come to us earlier than planned, it is always purely voluntary."
Some are calling the move reckless, others compassionate. Regardless, Pink Provari is expected to be released sometime next week after all the paperwork is processed and travel arrangements are finalized. She will be accompanied by Extension Cap, Pila 4, Protank 2, and an honor guard composed of two 18490's and two 18650's.
Rumor also has it that Provai will be taken in by the parole board woman, but this has not been confirmed and she can not be reached for comment. Friends of the woman say her first thought upon pushing the button was "Oh god, what have I done?" Neighbors report seeing her through the windows of her home prancing around like the Kool-Aid man shouting "Oh Yeaaahhh!"
