Christian Humor :)

[trukinlady]

I came across this website: christian-jokes.org. and I wanted to share these with everyone. Enjoy!

Acting Up In Church


One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.
The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.


Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.
Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation,
"Pray for me! Pray for me!"

 

[trukinlady]

Show and Tell

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment of bringing something to represent
their religion.

The first boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is the
Star of David."


The second boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm am Catholic and this is the
Crucifix."


The third boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy and I am Baptist and this is a casserole."

 

[trukinlady]

A Rare Book

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible
that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.

"Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.


"Yes, that was it!"


"You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction
for half a million dollars!"


"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man.
"It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther."

 

[trukinlady]

The Christian Barber

There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had
been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said,
"Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door."

Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, "I want a shave!" The barber said,
"Sure, just sit in the seat and I'll be with you in a moment." The barber went in the back and prayed a
quick desperate prayer saying, "God, the first customer came in and I'm going to witness to him.
So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen."


Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying
"Good morning sir. I have a question for you... Are you ready to die?"

 

[trukinlady]

The Children of Israel

Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out."
"What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"


"Right."


"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"


"Er--right." "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"


"Again you're right."


"An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans,
an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"


"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"


"What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin?