Need someone to talk to please.

[blondeambition3]

Beautiful prayer providencewouldhaveit... I've copied it and pasted it again below so we may 'pray in agreement' .....

Mighty Lord, and Heavenly Father to you belongs all glory and honor. We thank you that you have allowed a way to petition your thone through blood of your dear Son. We pray that our sister find a doctor who fears you and knows how to love because he/she is loved by you. I pray that you will be a comforter and ever present help to whatagem and that she will be at peace in your love. Help this to be a day of rejoiceing for whatagem and may you be glorified in our midst we pray in Jesus, Precious and Holy name, Amen

 

[whatagem]

Wow, thanks so much for the total out pouring of love. It's almost overwhelming. Trying to remember everything.....
I'm not on drugs, I do not even drink. I inhale PG & nicotine. My other drug is caffine-free diet soda. (and food. I LOVE to eat)

The last time I saw my reg doctor, I had remember that hormone levels could be checked--I read that in a magazine. I asked my docotr & she said no, they cannot do that. My insurance does not cover physc stuff & the local shrink school charges $100 per hour.

My husband & I are blue collar & he attends night school so any extra money is stashed quickly.

I use to go to my mom's church and they annoit with oil there. I like the pastors & deacons there but it is a teeny tiny church; I don't want everyone to know my issues. Small churches just like small towns.

There a HUGE church in my own city I had visited 3 times. Undecided if I like it or not. The main pastor said a couple things that rubbed me the wrong way & I thought, Love is not easily offended, ont he other hand, do I want to go to a church where I do not agree 100% ??? But where is that even possible? Of course a church with hundreds of members is not going to have everyone agree all the time, duh.
Anyway, the last time I was tehre, the pastor mentioned they do counseling. Been tossing this idea in my head for weeks.

I did get & read the private messages, I cannot thank everyone enough for your prayers and love. I did not respond to private messages because the main issue I deal with is very private & I have a very difficult time trusting people, even on a forum--this same reason I have not checked out the church counseling. I do wish I could speak with someone about this one subject, maybe so someone could show me how to get through it. It has tormented me for 3 long years. I just do not trust people. I thought once I came here, I could easily open up but I can feel myself closing up just as easily.

For every day this week, I've been listening to my Joyce Meyer CDs at work. Little by little been feeling a bit better. Yesterday I laughed till I cried and my gut ached! This is typical for me. This may last a few days, weeks, couple months, then slowly, or even immediately I will begin the downward spiral. For now I am OK, though struggling with one big issue.

I may still think about check that huge church website. They have 3 services PACKED each sunday, surely in all those people tehre's a shrink or a head doctor or someone who might understand all this in me.

I really, truly want to thank everyone for your love again. This helps me feel less alone, even though it's online and not the "real world". I am not able to check forum every day, but hopefully, I'll get some time in tommorow and open up with someone privately. Surely someone else has been through all this (though I really hope not!)


Oh, and also, my Dad recently got medicated for a MAJOR thyroid issue. He was unbearably cranky. Dad's always been very calm, very cool, collected. I've seen him explode in anger or cry maybe 3 times my life. Out of the blue, he was miserable to be around. Got medicated for low tyroid, he so much happier & lost 10 pounds!!! They still playing with meds but ultimately he is better.

Don't people with low thyroid typically have weight issues? I only ask that because my sister-in-law always gains a TON of weight when she cannot afford her meds. When she is on meds, she loses weight. My weight has been pretty stable even though I eat a lot...(don't hate me for that) but I am on my feet all day, running around at work, sweating buckets. I have ten pounds that never ever will come off.
Does it seem like I might have a thyroid issue?

 

[Stephaniems]

There are lots of issues with a malfunctioning thyroid, thats why you need a panel done.


Good luck with is all.

 

[LisaLisa]

You are loved Whatagem! If you can't talk to anyone about this issue, how about talking directly with Jesus about it? Have you been praying constantly about this problem? He does hear you.

 

[whatagem]

In a roundabout way, I was hurt very deeply by someone very close to me, and it happened repeatedly after an "I promise not to", after I'd made changes & compromises myself. I have wasted so much of my time, energy on this. I think about it almost every day and I have wasted hours and hours and hours making sure I am not being hurt again. I almost expect it because it has happened again and again. On one the CDs my cousin gave me, Joyce Meyer (I know I mention her a lot, it's all I have as far as CDs go) says she just wasn't going to live like that anymore, not trusting people and if she got hurt, God would take care of it.

I've listened to this CD a dozen times and it finally hit me. I cannot control what others do or how they treat me. And I cannot go through each day expecting bad things to happen. Yet, I cannot seem to give it to God. I don't know how. I pray to Him to just take it from me, to show me how to give it, show me how to really, truly, from the heart forgive this person. I don't want this agony any more. I want to trust this person, I love this person but the betrayal seems so imminent. Yes, I pray about this all the time, then waste an entire afternoon checking to make sure I have not been wronged. I simply do not know how to get over this and let God handle it. I don't know how to say, Well if it happens again, God will deal with that person and comfort me.

It's easy to say you trust God, but how many of us actually do to the fullest?

Of course when I do slide into depression, this issue is all worsened. It consumes me, consumes my thoughts. I know this person does not think on it like I do. I know this person does not spend an entire day, week thinking about what happened. So why do I? I know it only hurts me, not that person, to let it continue like this. I don't want it to play over & over in my head.


On a side note....I had some blood & urine work done for a life insurance thing & the results led me to the doctor for a 2nd opinion on my kidney function. They did full blood & urine work (whatever that means) so would a thyroid issue be caught there? I have in my hands, only the papers from the life insurance lab results, and my urine analysis from my doctor. I don't know what half of it means. Lots of big words.

 

[LisaLisa]

Forgiveness is so incredibly important, and it's so hard to do for many of us. The reason we even have salvation is because of forgiveness. The only reason we have a chance at everlasting life is because of forgiveness. God forgives us for all of our wrong doings through the blood of Jesus.

If we are forgiven all of our sins, then we must forgive all sins commited against us. This is ALOT easier said then done because for most of us, it's hard to forgive sometimes.

To forgive or not to forgive is a choice, we all have free will and we make the choice to obey God's command to forgive or not.

What does the bible say about forgiveness?

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

So, it's very clear that we must forgive as that is part of Love. I have a hard time with this sometimes myself, and sometimes it takes me a while to truly forgive. But, it's something that we must constantly work on, and praying about, because God forgives us so we must also forgive others too.

Forgiveness is part of Love. I don't think you can really forgive someone without loving them first. Can you love this person that has wronged you? Can you look at the good in them and overlook the bad like God does for us? This takes constant practice and looking at the person through another viewpoint and letting go of our own ego.

I find it easier to forgive when I actually am brutally honest with myself and I sit down and think about how many time I've wronged someone else and hurt another person, whether intentionally or unintentionally and understand that I'm no better then anyone else. If I expect others to forgive me, then I must also forgive them too. If I ask God to forgive me for my sins, I must also forgive others when they do harm to me. That is why Jesus told us to pray for those who persecute us. In order to be forgiven yourself, you too must also forgive others.

 

[blondeambition3]

In a roundabout way, I was hurt very deeply by someone very close to me, and it happened repeatedly after an "I promise not to", after I'd made changes & compromises myself. I have wasted so much of my time, energy on this. I think about it almost every day and I have wasted hours and hours and hours making sure I am not being hurt again. I almost expect it because it has happened again and again. On one the CDs my cousin gave me, Joyce Meyer (I know I mention her a lot, it's all I have as far as CDs go) says she just wasn't going to live like that anymore, not trusting people and if she got hurt, God would take care of it.

I've listened to this CD a dozen times and it finally hit me. I cannot control what others do or how they treat me. And I cannot go through each day expecting bad things to happen. Yet, I cannot seem to give it to God. I don't know how. I pray to Him to just take it from me, to show me how to give it, show me how to really, truly, from the heart forgive this person. I don't want this agony any more. I want to trust this person, I love this person but the betrayal seems so imminent. Yes, I pray about this all the time, then waste an entire afternoon checking to make sure I have not been wronged. I simply do not know how to get over this and let God handle it. I don't know how to say, Well if it happens again, God will deal with that person and comfort me.

It's easy to say you trust God, but how many of us actually do to the fullest?

Of course when I do slide into depression, this issue is all worsened. It consumes me, consumes my thoughts. I know this person does not think on it like I do. I know this person does not spend an entire day, week thinking about what happened. So why do I? I know it only hurts me, not that person, to let it continue like this. I don't want it to play over & over in my head.


On a side note....I had some blood & urine work done for a life insurance thing & the results led me to the doctor for a 2nd opinion on my kidney function. They did full blood & urine work (whatever that means) so would a thyroid issue be caught there? I have in my hands, only the papers from the life insurance lab results, and my urine analysis from my doctor. I don't know what half of it means. Lots of big words.

This is a LOT to absorb whatagem.. so I'm going to attempt to help you by 'breaking down' some of your deepest issues that I believe have become your obstacles.

you posted; In a roundabout way, I was hurt very deeply by someone very close to me, and it happened repeatedly after an "I promise not to", after I'd made changes & compromises myself. I have wasted so much of my time, energy on this. I think about it almost every day and I have wasted hours and hours and hours making sure I am not being hurt again. I almost expect it because it has happened again and again. On one the CDs my cousin gave me, Joyce Meyer (I know I mention her a lot, it's all I have as far as CDs go) says she just wasn't going to live like that anymore, not trusting people and if she got hurt, God would take care of it. One thing is certain, you were hurt. Another thing is certain, and you are right concerning this, you will be hurt again. As long as we're on this Earthly plane dealing with Earthly beings, we're going to be hurt... again & again & again. It's inevitable so many of your fears are well founded because they are based on your experience, and your experience has taught you that you can 'expect' to be hurt. The 'key' is to let go of the 'fear' of being hurt again.. and just 'allow' yourself to deal with the issue of whether or not you take that or those 'hurts' and turn them into something 'positive' instead of allowing them to dominate and/or destroy your Life. Joyce is right.. you can give those to God, but I'll elaborate on that shortly....

you then go on to post; I've listened to this CD a dozen times and it finally hit me. I cannot control what others do or how they treat me. And I cannot go through each day expecting bad things to happen. Yet, I cannot seem to give it to God. I don't know how. I pray to Him to just take it from me, to show me how to give it, show me how to really, truly, from the heart forgive this person. I don't want this agony any more. I want to trust this person, I love this person but the betrayal seems so imminent. Yes, I pray about this all the time, then waste an entire afternoon checking to make sure I have not been wronged. I simply do not know how to get over this and let God handle it. I don't know how to say, Well if it happens again, God will deal with that person and comfort me. There is much wisdom in this.. I cannot control what others do or how they treat me. Here is the catch.. if you can't 'internalize' this fundamental truth then you'll stay on this emotional roller coaster.. and you don't have to. You state you cannot seem to give it to God.... well, that doesn't surprise me, you have 'trust issues' so why trust Him? God is not a Man that he can lie whatagem.... and UNTIL you learn to trust Him completely and without question, you'll agonize in this World of emotional imbalance regarding close/intimate/personal relationships. It's possible you're wasting precious time & energy on a person not worthy of your trust.. have you considered that possibility? I don't know you, this other person, or the nature or scope of the relationship you're referencing, but from my own personal relationship experiences I'd dare to say this person will more than likely let you down again. This doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive them, you should... but not everyone you forgive truly forgives back... or deserves forgiveness or is able to give you what you truly want or need. We're talking about relationships here... they're complicated at best & impossible at worst.. (lol) I'm not trying to make light of your situation, I'm just saying they're complicated.. and only GOD can figure these things out & fix them. You HAVE to learn to trust & give everything to GOD whatagem if you truly want to be FREE in the arena of your relationships.

you posted; It's easy to say you trust God, but how many of us actually do to the fullest? Unfortunately only a few of us do, but the ones who do fully understand the peace of the Lord, (that surpasses understanding) ultimate joy & complete deliverance. It can be an 'immediate' thing or a 'process'... You have to READ the word, pray and work on trusting God by Faith. God's character is flawless, he can not lie, he is perfect righteousness and he is always faithful and just. He knows you better than anyone else and loves you more deeply than anyone else. He has only your very best interest at Heart. Who can top that?

you posted; Of course when I do slide into depression, this issue is all worsened. It consumes me, consumes my thoughts. I know this person does not think on it like I do. I know this person does not spend an entire day, week thinking about what happened. So why do I? I know it only hurts me, not that person, to let it continue like this. I don't want it to play over & over in my head. You are definitely being tormented emotionally and if this continues you'll suffer 'physical' consequences, no doubt. The Bible says; "As a Person thinks in their Heart, they are"... so you've (for whatever reasons) set yourself up in your thought life to sabotage your relationships forever... and the only thing that comes to my mind is what have you done in your past to make you think you don't deserve to ever be happy & that everyone is only going to hurt, betray and/or desert you?

I don't know whatagem, I'm not a psychologist, medical doctor or even a counselor, I'm just a simple handmaiden for Christ trying to spread the 'good news of the gospel' in these last days..... but I really would like to see you freed and I know that I know that I know (just as Joyce Meyer does) that God could and would deliver you from this emotional torment if you could truly let go and give all of this to Him once & for all. Until you can do that you'll not have any freedom from this. I wish you could stop torturing yourself.. or allowing yourself to be tortured... like I said previously, I don't really understand your situation... all I'm catching is bits & pieces & it's all quite veiled & 'vague'. I don't know if anyone has asked this previously, but are you or have you been on any type of medication for depression? Drugs alone can cause emotional & mental agony.. but not always. It depends.. on a lot of things.
Lots of things can cause what you're experiencing right now, but only GOD can 'fix' it all in an instant if He so chooses. You have to choose to allow Him.. and usually, (key word usually) God only fixes things instantly when He knows it will be of lasting benefit).. with others, 'deliverance' is not total but a gradual process.
I certainly wish you the best whatagem.. I don't know your personally but I can 'feel' you're in a lot of pain. My prayers are with you... and again I urge you to stay in God's word (Read the Bible.. Faith comes by hearing & hearing by the word of God).. pray... talk to Him... don't give up. My prayers are with you Sister.. keep fighting the 'good' fight.

 

[LisaLisa]

Great post Blonde! Excellent advise!

 

[whatagem]

I was saved 20 yrs ago and ever since I have gone up & down, the emotional roller coaster.... One thing that I have recently learned--so sad that I realized this only within past year or so--is that most times when I get severely depressed, with suicidal thoughts, etc, this is when I have been drifting away from God. Not always, but prob 90% of those times. Once I looked back and thought of all times I had gotten that low & where was God? I had shut him out, but happened so gradually, so slowly I hadn't even realized I was missing a presence of God.

And the times when things are blowing up at work, disasters are abundant and yet I am collected and handling things as a mature adult should--these are the times when I pray daily and testing out new churches. There is a presence of God in my life, even if it is small.

I do often wonder why I have to work so hard at this. It IS work to keep a relationship with God. Keeping a relationship with say, my mom, is work, but we both work at it. Why doesn't God tug on my hair and holler at me when I begin to slip?

Aside from that, I have been very diligent at listening to my CDs at work for past 2 weeks now. Every day is a little better, little better. That is one benefit of my job at least, that I can listen to Joyce Meyer all day. Yesterday, once again from a CD I've heard a dozen times (really) something really leaped out at me. Joyce was talking about the flesh (don't remember what it was regarding) but she said, "If you don't feed it, it will die." I took this to heart immediatly as though something were quickened to my heart. If you do not dwell on this thing, if you do not check this, and check that, if you do not EXPECT it....It. Will. Die. I wrote this down and left it by my computer at home to remind myself.

It causes me pain; why wouldn't I want to kill it? I think for myself, and I hope all this may help someone else who may be too shy, but I think if I stray away from God too many times, I will not be long for this earth. I've had too many close calls, and my depression bleeds out onto people I love dearly. I end up hurting them unwittingly.

I know the story of the attendant who was forgiven his debt and then took someone by the throat over about twenty dollars. I know I should think how many times God has forgiven me for the SAME thing OVER and OVER. I know this all too well. So here is what I have decided to do:
Several times a day I say "I forgive that person" over & over. I also include "I forgive myself" since it seems harder to forgive myself for some things I have done & caused others to do. I say it out loud, several times.

I have to, need to, stay in prayer. I am not the kind who can sit & bow. I talk to God while in the car, in the shower, etc. There are times when I feel like I am only repeating the same things over and over. For the past few days, I make sure not to do that. To be sure everything is included, I say, "God, you know all those things I say each day. Please remember those things!" Then I talk to God as though he were my mom on the phone. Otherwise, I know I will slowly pray less and eventually stop.

Something Joyce Meyer said was that reading the Word brings deliverance. I am positively DESPERATE to be delivered from nicotine, for my husband to be delivered from his addictions and afflictions. So, instead of not reading the BIble at all, I've decided I will read in the belief that God will deliver me from this emotional pain, from the nicotine drug, from my sour attitude, and so on. I started today by reading Isaiah chapter 61. I hope I can continue to do this daily instead of doing it for a few days, then not at all as I have tended to in the past.

In stark contrast, things happened at work today that would normally have me really ticked off, head spinning and wanting to walk out! But I was cool about it all, even joked with a co-worker. My husband dropped by at lunch & my good mood caused him to smile. I went to the dentist after work and the whole way there I prayed to God to take away my anxiety, my stress and my worry. Everything went smooth and 5 min into the dental visit I began to relax slightly--something not possible for me in The Chair. Afterward, I was happily able to handle cooking supper, making lunches, unruly pets, & a phone call--ALL AT ONCE and it didn't sour my mood. The rice came out salty but oh well.

I KNOW this is all because I have been spending more time with God, praying throughout the day, every day, listening to a preacher on my MP3 player for just about every clocked in minuet, and really just by making a simple effort. I even "got out of the boat" and visited a strange new church last Sunday. I cannot promise I won't backslide again, I won't even say I will not get depressed again, because I do this routine over & over. But I will say this: I have decided to make that simple effort. I will read, not because I "need" to, but because I believe it will deliver me from all the things I need to be delivered from.

I've often felt I usually go through things to help someone else. When my 12 year old niece confessed to me that she bruised and cut herself, my heart broke. However I was able to help her through some things in a way that no one else in our family would have. And she has always trusted me since I never betrayed her trust. Ever since then, I cannot help but wonder if this up & down may not be for someone else. I sure hate it though!

Anyways, I am back on the upward climb of the roller coaster, yet again, but I cannot see the top. So maybe there is no downward scary spill. I can believe that for now. I hope for whatever reason led me here, to this specific forum, to spill my guts in a vague way, will help someone going through something similar. For me to spend a lot of time on a public forum is not really the norm, esp to be so personal.

If someone had told me "It's because you are ignoring God" I prob would not have reacted well and taken it to heart. It's like a drug addict hitting rock bottom--one has to make the decision to get better. What starting turning around this last bout of depression was thinking that listening to Joyce Meyer CDs at work had brought me out of a funk once before....Well, it couldn't hurt this time.

 

[blondeambition3]

Hallelujah whatagem! I hear some positive improvement in this post! The 'work' you're putting forth beautiful! God will NOT force you to draw closer to Him, but you've drawn closer by choice & He's blessing you for your efforts, because it really 'is' up to you as to how much He can bless & love you. Now, take that prayers 'a step higher' to the throne and start proclaiming His promises! Say... I KNOW you know my pain Lord, and I'm receiving by Faith that your promises for my healing have already been accomplished and it is DONE! I do not walk in depression or thoughts of suicide... you paid for those by your stripes! I walk in faith, not by sight and I KNOW that you will never leave nor forsake me as long as my Mind is fixed on YOU! THANK HIM also! Praise Him constantly. Just what you're doing now with a little PRAISE, thanks & then some WORSHIP to sweeten the melody. He thrives on YOUR love & worship whatagem just as you thrive on His.. the only difference is YOU need His more and He can give you the victory you need right here right now.. as well as in Heaven. Don't let the 'negative' entertain you anymore, when those thoughts of "I'll mess up again" or "I can't maintain this forever" enter, just say "Shut up Devil! You don't live here anymore because my SAVIOR dwells here and 'greater is He that is in me than He that is in the World" and "By His stripes I am Healed!".... keep at it baby girl.. your breakthrough is HERE NOW! Just WALK in it, claim it & praise God continually for it! Keep talking/praying to Him (who says you have to bow or prostrate yourself to pray).. He's your Father, He loves YOU! You're doin' it girl!!!!!!! I'm so HAPPY for you Sister! You have no idea how HAPPY you made me with this last post of yours!

 

[LisaLisa]

Hallelujah whatagem! I hear some positive improvement in this post! The 'work' you're putting forth beautiful! God will NOT force you to draw closer to Him, but you've drawn closer by choice & He's blessing you for your efforts, because it really 'is' up to you as to how much He can bless & love you. Now, take that prayers 'a step higher' to the throne and start proclaiming His promises! Say... I KNOW you know my pain Lord, and I'm receiving by Faith that your promises for my healing have already been accomplished and it is DONE! I do not walk in depression or thoughts of suicide... you paid for those by your stripes! I walk in faith, not by sight and I KNOW that you will never leave nor forsake me as long as my Mind is fixed on YOU! THANK HIM also! Praise Him constantly. Just what you're doing now with a little PRAISE, thanks & then some WORSHIP to sweeten the melody. He thrives on YOUR love & worship whatagem just as you thrive on His.. the only difference is YOU need His more and He can give you the victory you need right here right now.. as well as in Heaven. Don't let the 'negative' entertain you anymore, when those thoughts of "I'll mess up again" or "I can't maintain this forever" enter, just say "Shut up Devil! You don't live here anymore because my SAVIOR dwells here and 'greater is He that is in me than He that is in the World" and "By His stripes I am Healed!".... keep at it baby girl.. your breakthrough is HERE NOW! Just WALK in it, claim it & praise God continually for it! Keep talking/praying to Him (who says you have to bow or prostrate yourself to pray).. He's your Father, He loves YOU! You're doin' it girl!!!!!!! I'm so HAPPY for you Sister! You have no idea how HAPPY you made me with this last post of yours!

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I hear alot of positive things in that post too, absolutely 100% improvement! I"m going to tell you Whatagem what happens to me, and what I do sometimes when doubts or negative thoughts come into my head. I start to sing one of my favorite praise songs in my head, or sometimes outloud! I also say in my head or outoud "In Jesus's name get away from me!"

You MUST command satan and the demons AWAY from you in Jesus name. Demons absolutely do influence out thinking and they plant thoughts into our heads. They can be doubts about God, feelings of hate, jealousy, anxiety, anything and everything negative. They feed on this, it's their sole mission to destroy us.

DO NOT allow them into your head! Order them away and immediately start to pray, sing a song of praise, and kick them out of your head completely. Only entertain positive thoughts and pray constantly for the strength to do this.

They keep coming back at you because they have found a way in, they know what works for them, and they aren't going to let up until you close that door for good. God can and will heal your heart, but not until you focus on Him completely and focus on love.

YOU CAN DO IT SISTER!!!!!!! Keep coming back here, and we will help build you up. You can lean on us, we are your sisters, we want you to be successful with this, and you can be with God on your side

 

[blondeambition3]

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I hear alot of positive things in that post too, absolutely 100% improvement! I"m going to tell you Whatagem what happens to me, and what I do sometimes when doubts or negative thoughts come into my head. I start to sing one of my favorite praise songs in my head, or sometimes outloud! I also say in my head or outoud "In Jesus's name get away from me!"

You MUST command satan and the demons AWAY from you in Jesus name. Demons absolutely do influence out thinking and they plant thoughts into our heads. They can be doubts about God, feelings of hate, jealousy, anxiety, anything and everything negative. They feed on this, it's their sole mission to destroy us.

DO NOT allow them into your head! Order them away and immediately start to pray, sing a song of praise, and kick them out of your head completely. Only entertain positive thoughts and pray constantly for the strength to do this.

They keep coming back at you because they have found a way in, they know what works for them, and they aren't going to let up until you close that door for good. God can and will heal your heart, but not until you focus on Him completely and focus on love.

YOU CAN DO IT SISTER!!!!!!! Keep coming back here, and we will help build you up. You can lean on us, we are your sisters, we want you to be successful with this, and you can be with God on your side

Yes! Amen Amen and Amen!!!!!!

 

[whatagem]

To reply to the last couple replies....
I learned about positive confession only a few months ago so I began my own list. I recently added to the list, "I am happy, full of joy, full of peace". I say these confessions out loud, several times a day. I do praise, although my ways are not as traditional. I may say thank you for 2 little things as I take the trash out. Thank you Jesus for my new doggie door; thank you that I do not have to mop up dog pee every day! Thank you for air conditioning & cold showers in the summer! As I am cooking, I say Thank you God for modern appliances & running water!

And so on...

I do not know many praise songs, and I do not like most contemporary music. I grew up on old baptist hymns & found that I really love some of them all jazzed up. I REALLY like Flyleaf and POD. I occasionally find myself humming those songs since I do not know the words.

One of the reasons I had originally requested to speak with women is because I usually have ZERO six drive & was hoping to speak with someone in PM about that. 4 doctors told me nothing is wrong with me. I added that to my confessions ("The healing power of God is working in me and I have a huge sex drive"--HA HA) I have been confessing this for months, changed my eating habits, quit smoking and have seen very little change. However on some days, I notice *little* changes. See there? I just got out of the boat and told about my sex drive. My biggest wish is that God had not made us walking birth control and all husbands as 13 yr old boys in that area.

I could write a novel on that subject

 

[blondeambition3]

All I can say is 'keep doin' what your doin' whatagem & the Lord will be faithful.

 

[Saintscruiser]

I am excited about your progress!!!!!!! And you are right.....baby steps. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to do and God will bless your efforts. I promise. You may not see anything gigantic, but you are progressing. You can only change yourself. God has to change your husband. I'll tell you something I learned in Marriage Counselling. It was a question posed to both of us.

To the woman: What constitutes intimacy. Women always say talking, snuggling...not sex.

To the man: What constitutes intimacy. Men say it's when their spouse does something with them, like watching a football game, going to a concert with them, etc.

I said.......whoa whoa whoa whoa! I turned to my husband and the male counselor and said 'no way. It has to be sex!' But it isn't. They like for their wives to do stuff with them. I was so shocked, I don't mind telling you. It's true! And yes, I don't enjoy nasty language, but I will go to see Ted Nugent with my husband if none of his friends can go because of that. They appreciate it sooooooooo much. Like I said, talk about shock city......

 

[whatagem]

I prob already said this before but I've said all of the above before, again & again. I say THIS time I will not ignore God, I will not fall away. I've said it this time as well! I am almost terrified to listen to music on my MP3 player because I am afraid if I stop listening the Joyce Meyer CDs I will slip away again. Sounds silly, but do what works, yeah?

I am reading "Help Me! I'm Married" by Joyce Meyer. I am only on chapter 5 but I am already seeing changes in myself. Last night husband was doing something I absolutley HATE & I was praying to God to let me act sweet regardless. I began thinking on the many worse things he could be doing & how God will work in husband & change him just as He is changing me. It may not happen tommorow, but I cannot change husband--only God can. All I can do is be sweet & not let me judgmental side come pouring out of me.
Deep breath. I ignored what he was doing & went on about what I was doing. Phew. I used up today's grace on that one HA HA!!

I can now recognize the differences there are when I allow God to be in my daily life. I am content again at work. Doing daily chores & errands not as grudgingly (I still hate Wal-Mart!) I pray for something (like a light work day) get it, then recognize that I got exactly what I prayed for. I am even beginning to remember some of the bible verses Joyce mentions over & over on the CDs.

Watch this, y'all......Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Proverbs....something I think.

Alright, I'm gonna shut up before my head swells and burst with pride. What I am really saying is this:
SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE FOR ME! LOOK WHAT HE DID. And as I have learned, God is no respecter of persons, He will do for another just what He has done for one.

 

[LisaLisa]

Keep on doing what works for you. If those joyce myers CD's are working, then you keep on listening! I"m so glad to hear that you're really focusing on the positive, and letting God into your heart. You're on the right track sister!!

 

[whatagem]

I am sure someone noticed my avatar photo from the movie "Psycho"? That's how I felt a lot of the time, afraid, stressed out, ready to scream... Maybe I should work on a new photo
Are there many folks my age still into Hitchcock films? HA HA!! (husband won't watch ANYTHING made before 1985)
I really love The Birds!!! Who's with me? My mom saw it as a little kid & it scared the poo outta her. She watched it with me when I was a little kid and I laughed through the whole movie. I loved it. "Well," mom said, "It was a lot scarier on the big screen at the drive-in."

 

[LisaLisa]

I am sure someone noticed my avatar photo from the movie "Psycho"? That's how I felt a lot of the time, afraid, stressed out, ready to scream... Maybe I should work on a new photo
Are there many folks my age still into Hitchcock films? HA HA!! (husband won't watch ANYTHING made before 1985)
I really love The Birds!!! Who's with me? My mom saw it as a little kid & it scared the poo outta her. She watched it with me when I was a little kid and I laughed through the whole movie. I loved it. "Well," mom said, "It was a lot scarier on the big screen at the drive-in."

I think changing your avatar is a great idea. Choose something that reflects how beautiful you really are, inside and out!

 

[providencewouldhaveit]

I've been busy and haven't been on the website for awhile. I'm glad to here you are doing well. Spending time with God helps us get everything on track. I did find more information about iodine deficiency and noticed myself getting slightly moodier and achier since I gave all my iodine to friends. Iodine absorbtion is reduced by floride, chlorine and bromine. My mom is reading a book about hypothyroidism type II after I kept telling my father to get her some iodine. Now since the book reccommends it she's getting iodine but I really believe most of the major harmonal problems are related to iodine deficiency not hypothyroidism type II.
Here is a lot of info on iodine and it's effects on everything.
Iodine - Dr. Guy E. Abraham M.D.
Just ordered Idoral from here.
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