Commiserating with Ripple

[pwyll]

Yes, early breast development is familial too - but I believe you only follow your mother. As for the "little chunky" part....yes that too.....my kids did that - chunk up then shoot up....unfortunately, now that she is menstruating the shoot up parts aren't going to be quite as much and if you aren't careful she could stay chunky. I'm talking a little more careful not dieting and no self-conscious body-image either - she has enough on her plate

I have no idea if breast development is familial or not, or whom it follows (my sister was "bigger" than our mom by the time she was 12, and she wasn't even close to finished yet), though it would make sense to be a mother-daughter thing. Mainly I'm just personally familiar with how devastating an issue it can be--and the fact that so many people (including women who didn't suffer through it personally) can't seem to even imagine that it could be a bad thing

As far as the body-image goes, we've already been trying desperately to ski that slope. She occasionally goes through bouts of being depressed over being "so fat" (even though most of her friends are heavier and she insists they aren't fat) but most of the time she just talks about how "hawt" she is. That's all just standard stuff, though, in a society that idolizes the waif but glamourizes super-sizing your fries and milkshake while it spends massive amounts of energy paying lip-service to "healthy choices" while making it easier and cheaper to buy two king-sized candy bars than a simple sandwich on whole wheat.

I changed the homework rules with my daughter - instead of after you get home from school and have a snack and then homework - it was get home, have a snack, go outside to play while it's still light out and homework after dinner - to get her activity level up - it would have worked had I known what she was snacking on when I was at work as an adult she confessed as to what she had been eating - really poor choices. Since I had a teenage son in the house, I really had no clue who was eating so much. I presumed it was my son....

Luckily for us she has no problem being active--we have to make her take breaks (and remind her to hydrate)--and she is usually happier with an apple or an orange than she is with chips or sweets. Unless the sweets involve chocolate.

 

[beebopnjazz]

Well usually it happens between 11 and 12 and girls are happy about becoming "women" .....for an 8 year old however, not only is she "alone" in this chapter for now, but it just doesn't seem right that she should have to think about it at all while she considers what toy to play with next. She's too young to have one foot on each plane.

OMG! She has to carry supplies in her backpack cuz she won't know when the next one comes! It could take her a year to settle into a schedule.....poor kid just more opportunities for other kids to know.....so many potential embarrassing moments....

 

[AG51]

Well usually it happens between 11 and 12 and .....girls are happy about becoming "women" ...

Not me !!! I HATED IT from the get go when it all started (was into sports, that crap got in my way) and STILL HATE it while I'm waiting the Menopause Fairy to get here

I vote a Female should have a choice if she 'wants' this to happen to her or not

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Not me !!! I HATED IT from the get go when it all started (was into sports, that crap got in my way) and STILL HATE it while I'm waiting the Menopause Fairy to get here

I vote a Female should have a choice if she 'wants' this to happen to her or not

That won't happen if men have a vote on it, I personally believe whatever you want to do to your own body is your own business and especially not the opposite sex's.....

 

[pwyll]

Well usually it happens between 11 and 12 and girls are happy about becoming "women" .....for an 8 year old however, not only is she "alone" in this chapter for now, but it just doesn't seem right that she should have to think about it at all while she considers what toy to play with next. She's too young to have one foot on each plane.

OMG! She has to carry supplies in her backpack cuz she won't know when the next one comes! It could take her a year to settle into a schedule.....poor kid just more opportunities for other kids to know.....so many potential embarrassing moments....

Mostly all "yep," except I'm thinking she may already be "settled in to a schedule." She's synced with the wife this time, and the wife has been known to cut another woman's cycle in half in order for them to synchronize. Women sync up to her even with contact of only once or twice a month. Our cat is synced to her and he's male.

On the one hand, I hope this isn't the case and she has the possibility of skipping a cycle or two every once in a while so it might possibly be a bit less overwhelming; on the other hand she is a very routine-oriented little girl (moreso than most children of her age) and I know that she would at least find comfort in having some advanced notice of which Friday she will not get to go swimming at the Y and which weeks she is likely to have to find an alternate class to gym...

However it goes she is a brave, bright and resilient little person, and in very short order she will probably be taking comfort in the fact that she will be able to help other girls through it when it comes time for their change to creep up and drastically alter their lives...

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Mostly all "yep," except I'm thinking she may already be "settled in to a schedule." She's synced with the wife this time, and the wife has been known to cut another woman's cycle in half in order for them to synchronize. Women sync up to her even with contact of only once or twice a month. Our cat is synced to her and he's male.

On the one hand, I hope this isn't the case and she has the possibility of skipping a cycle or two every once in a while so it might possibly be a bit less overwhelming; on the other hand she is a very routine-oriented little girl (moreso than most children of her age) and I know that she would at least find comfort in having some advanced notice of which Friday she will not get to go swimming at the Y and which weeks she is likely to have to find an alternate class to gym...

However it goes she is a brave, bright and resilient little person, and in very short order she will probably be taking comfort in the fact that she will be able to help other girls through it when it comes time for their change to creep up and drastically alter their lives...

I don't think my best friend and I are synced up on anything after 31 years, once again some things confuse me.......... Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Is it to have more communal washroom time? Moving on.....

I am glad you have a girl who can handle it, buddy, I'm sorry you personally have to realize she's not daddy's little princess anymore and that boys will come a-calling.......

 

[VapingTurtle]

...
However it goes she is a brave, bright and resilient little person, and in very short order she will probably be taking comfort in the fact that she will be able to help other girls through it when it comes time for their change to creep up and drastically alter their lives...

This is great, pwyll !!

 

[beebopnjazz]

I don't think my best friend and I are synced up on anything after 31 years, once again some things confuse me.......... Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Is it to have more communal washroom time? Moving on.....

I am glad you have a girl who can handle it, buddy, I'm sorry you personally have to realize she's not daddy's little princess anymore and that boys will come a-calling.......

Due to her age, she's still daddy's little princess....for now. And the boys thing will wait too.....for a few more years.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Due to her age, she's still daddy's little princess....for now. And the boys thing will wait too.....for a few more years.

I've always been so happy that I didn't have a girl, you know what I mean, its all the extra worry......

 

[beebopnjazz]

...apparently too serious a topic...gone now.....carry on

 

[Gr8Scott]

Please pardon and forgive my thread crashing, but....

How odd it was to listen to The Grateful Dead (saw 'em in 1989, Oakland Coliseum ) on page one of this thread; from October of 2011

and then I jumped to page 677 (still while listening to "ripple") and into a conversation about early breast development, now in January of 2013.

How odd, yet more of an Odyssey of a close group of people sharing their lives with each other.

Pretty cool actually.

So, Hi!

 

[RippleInStillWater]

...apparently too serious a topic...gone now.....carry on

Nah, there really isn't much traffic here anymore, not sure why but its OK......

Please pardon and forgive my thread crashing, but....

How odd it was to listen to The Grateful Dead (saw 'em in 1989, Oakland Coliseum ) on page one of this thread; from October of 2011

and then I jumped to page 677 (still while listening to "ripple") and into a conversation about early breast development, now in January of 2013.

How odd, yet more of an Odyssey of a close group of people sharing their lives with each other.

Pretty cool actually.

So, Hi!

I do love my commiserating friends, sort of like a bunch of deadheads sitting around talking about their favorite shows.........

And everyone is always welcome here...........

 

[pwyll]

I don't think my best friend and I are synced up on anything after 31 years, once again some things confuse me.......... Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Is it to have more communal washroom time? Moving on.....

I am glad you have a girl who can handle it, buddy, I'm sorry you personally have to realize she's not daddy's little princess anymore and that boys will come a-calling.......

I'm not sure what the biological reason for it is, but when you have four or five women with seriously heavy "times" with the resultantly extreme emotional waves, it's not good for anyone. The crowd I hung around with during the first half of my first marriage was rather large and there were five girls who were the very best of friends three weeks of the month--closer than most twin sisters--but who often had to be physically restrained to keep from killing each other four to eight days every month

And as I explained to Rhianna when she was first offended by being called "baby" (just before her fourth birthday)--she will always be my baby, my little princess, no matter how old she gets.

 

[pwyll]

This is great, pwyll !!

She loves helping people as much or more than she loves playing and watching TV.

 

[pwyll]

Due to her age, she's still daddy's little princess....for now. And the boys thing will wait too.....for a few more years.

She will always be daddy's little princess--even when she gets to the age she is attempting to overthrow the kingdom and rewrite her rules

And the boys won't wait--they've already started (along with a couple of girls). And I've seen too many people try and fail to "control" their kids behaviour, especially when it comes to exploring the hormonally-induced changes in their instinctual needs. I will make sure that she is as aware as possible of the consequences of her choices, and provide her with the tools to best ensure that she does not "have" to do anything she does not consciously choose to do. And I will definitely make sure she knows that daddy has her back no matter what happens.

 

[pwyll]

I've always been so happy that I didn't have a girl, you know what I mean, its all the extra worry......

It cuts both ways. I would have been happy with a boy, but boys have their own set of "extra worries."

 

[RippleInStillWater]

It cuts both ways. I would have been happy with a boy, but boys have their own set of "extra worries."

Not if you avoid priests........8-o

 

[pwyll]

Not if you avoid priests........8-o

People with boys always talk about not having to worry if they get pregnant--but if *I* had a boy and he managed to get someone else pregnant you can bet your burro he'd be taking responsibility for it (and I know that means we'd be taking responsibility). People with boys say they'd be worried about date-rape, but I've seen what the false accusation of rape can do to a boy, and while the psychological damage is obviously not as great, the effect on the rest of their life can be (not necessarily is, but can be) worse. People seem to think they have to be more worried about predators with girls than boys, but the stereotypical priest is not the only predator on the prowl...

It's basically like a conversation I just had last week with Rhianna. On the third day of her period she asked mama if boys had to go through the cycle too. When mama said "No," Rhianna asked her if it was harder to be a girl than a boy and her mama said, "Yes. Well, I think it is anyway, but your daddy might think differently." So Rhianna asked me "Daddy, is it harder to be a girl than a boy?"

I told her, "No. Girls think it's harder to be a girl, and boys think it's harder to be a boy--they're both right, but that also means they're both wrong. Men and women both have some things easier than the other and some things harder than the other. Neither is better than the other and neither is harder than the other. They're just different."

 

[RippleInStillWater]

People with boys always talk about not having to worry if they get pregnant--but if *I* had a boy and he managed to get someone else pregnant you can bet your burro he'd be taking responsibility for it (and I know that means we'd be taking responsibility). People with boys say they'd be worried about date-rape, but I've seen what the false accusation of rape can do to a boy, and while the psychological damage is obviously not as great, the effect on the rest of their life can be (not necessarily is, but can be) worse. People seem to think they have to be more worried about predators with girls than boys, but the stereotypical priest is not the only predator on the prowl...

It's basically like a conversation I just had last week with Rhianna. On the third day of her period she asked mama if boys had to go through the cycle too. When mama said "No," Rhianna asked her if it was harder to be a girl than a boy and her mama said, "Yes. Well, I think it is anyway, but your daddy might think differently." So Rhianna asked me "Daddy, is it harder to be a girl than a boy?"

I told her, "No. Girls think it's harder to be a girl, and boys think it's harder to be a boy--they're both right, but that also means they're both wrong. Men and women both have some things easier than the other and some things harder than the other. Neither is better than the other and neither is harder than the other. They're just different."

You are a very wise man, my friend, the boys will have a hard time displacing you in her heart.......

 

[pwyll]

You are a very wise man, my friend, the boys will have a hard time displacing you in her heart.......

Well, for now, anyway.

I have no delusions about where I'll be in her heart somewhere between the ages of 10 and 14 though I'm just hoping to be able to maintain her wisdom--she's already told me more than once "I love you daddy, even when you make me really mad."