Hmmm... well, since my Darlin' Dinger tagged me, I've been thinking about how to respond to this lurvley little thread... the story of my first time, huh? I haven't really been able to come up with much of a story, so let's just see how this goes...
It all started about seven and a half years ago. My lovely wife and I were walking through the local mall on a little shopping spree. She wanted to separate for a bit so that we could pick out a few surprise gifts for one another. I happily obliged, because I love to see her eyes light up when she is presented with that perfect offering. I stalked my prey from store to store, I looked at lingerie. I looked at jewelery. I looked at artwork. I looked at beauty products. Nothing that was worthy of my beautiful bride was to be found. Dismayed, I walked into another jewelery store and came across a gorgeous little diamond tennis bracelet. It was understated and classic. I was exactly her style. I had the clerk ring up the purchase and I strutted happily out of the store. Now, with a little time to kill, I meandered through the mall and saw a rather beautiful young lady sitting at one of those little kiosks in the middle of the mall. She appeared to be smoking! I was completely dumbfounded and could not contain my curiosity. I approached the kiosk and noticed a monitor on the side. It was playing a video that showed people smoking something called an 'electronic cigarette'. The brand was called "Smoking Anywhere".
My interest was piqued, and I stepped around to speak with the young lady. She perked up instantly and pulled me closer, slipping a hand into her pocket. She withdrew a slim little cigarette and pressed one finger to my lips. "Shhhh..." she said. "Before you ask any questions, just give it a try." And, with that, she put that little bit of heaven between my lips. I pulled it in and let the flavor roll around in my mouth, I twirled my tongue through the deep flavors, and I inhaled the scent of what she had presented me. It smelled and tasted of an intoxicating dark roasted coffee. I was instantly caught in her spell. She smiled a wicked little knowing smile and winked at me. She knew that she had me at that point. I was hers. She turned and walked away, leaving me standing there as she walked around the counter. I was gawking like a schoolboy as she pulled a small box from behind the counter and beckoned me over. I approached and she leaned over the counter, her ample bosom heaving with anticipation and struggling against a stubbornly unyielding button as she opened the box, revealing not one, but two of the little batteries, a charger, and six cartridges filled with wonderful flavor. I was drooling at the thought of having such a wonderful treat within my grasp. I timidly asked how much this was going to cost me, and with a harmonious giggle, she asked me how much my life was worth. I chuckled back and she offered to throw in two extra boxes of cartridges for free. Needless to say that I folded like a cheap suit in response to her expert sales tactics.
Smiling happily, and puffing on my new acquisition, I returned to my stroll through the mall. This time, I was looking for my darling wife. I wanted to show her the wonderful new device that was going to improve my health (and it didn't hurt that I had a nice little 'pretty' to soften the blow). I finally located her, she was in one of the mall's beauty salons, getting a pedicure. I waved to her through the window and laughed at her look of shock as I puffed away at a "cigarette" while standing in the mall. I sat down at a bench and waited for her pampering to conclude. She came over to me and asked me what I was doing, and she was instantly as amazed as I was at this newfound technology. She had never smoked before, and had wanted me to quit for years, but she was absolutely ecstatic that I'd finally found something that worked. We were both a bit skeptical about how long it would work, but I was willing to give it a try. She did scoff at the $200+ price tag of it, but agreed that it was worth a shot. I kissed her tenderly and held her close, then presented her with my latest jewelry purchase. As expected, her eyes lit up and I knew that I had chosen well. Our shopping excursion at its end, we went out for dinner and went home, a very happy couple.
And that is a true accounting (with some mild embellishments) of
my first time.