CONTEST - The VOLT by SmokelessImage.com
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Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."
I suriously think my friends and I had problems back then, lol. Anyways enjoy!
The gibberish talk is the best at 1:00.
...on an end note, im really surprise non of us actually ended up living in a cardboard box. lol
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I've never, EVER done a review before so forgive me if it's not descriptive enough.
http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/electronic-cigarette-reviews/184203-smokelessimage-volt.html
http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/electronic-cigarette-reviews/184203-smokelessimage-volt.html
Oddball yes, but hay had to add a vid too...>.< PS the singers are good friends and just as odd as me 
this vid always make me LOL.
this vid always make me LOL.
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Scratch that . . . that is only in the "review of suppliers" section. I think it would be good to get more opinions on the same thread.
I apologize.
I'm a dork. 
EDIT: Added mine to Lynlee's thread.
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A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
Eli and pintail64
You both may want to go back and look at post #33
You both may want to go back and look at post #33
For that matter everyone should look at post #33!!!
!!!! We have a scandel of the highest order going on !!!
Well, I'm all about sharing amusing stuff:
Sadly, though, most of what I like is nerdy jokes. Mostly with those bad words in them.
Sadly, though, most of what I like is nerdy jokes. Mostly with those bad words in them.
ok guys more then halfway through the contest don't forget to get the word out on the contest to make it end sooner!!! and collect "likes" for your posts!
don't forget to get the word out on the contest to make it end sooner!!! and collect "likes" for your posts!
Ready for some bad pirate jokes?
Did you see that new pirate movie?
It's rated RRRRRR!!
Where do pirates go to drink?
At a barrrrrrr!!
Where do pirates go to eat?
Arrrrrrrby's
Did you see that new pirate movie?
It's rated RRRRRR!!
Where do pirates go to drink?
At a barrrrrrr!!
Where do pirates go to eat?
Arrrrrrrby's
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