Contest - Win a GGTB! Brought to you by the man with the tight pants!

[pringles13]

Thanks eJoker and Bruce for offering up the shiny

BROWNCOATS rule of course!!

And a very simple joke

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole darn chicken!

 

[hairball]

Thank you ejoker and Bruce from COV for the prize.

Little Johnny is at it again...

President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.

They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'?

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy?'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.'

'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.' The room went silent. No other children volunteered.

Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand.

In a quiet voice he said: If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says Little johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.


Browncoats Rule!​

 

[ukeman]

Thanks ejoker and Bruce; Bigbuyer from COV! for a GG! wow!


Joke: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh



Browncoats Rule!

 

[pwyll]

Thank you ejoker and Bruce from Clouds of Vapor for the wonderful GGTB being offered. That prize is powerful shiny.

A man walked into the produce section of a local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager: "Some jerk wants to buy a half head of lettuce."

The manager was looking behind the boy, so the boy turned around to see the man standing right behind him. So he quickly added: "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy: "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here."

"Thank you, sir," the boy replied.

"Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir."

"Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.

The boy said "Sir, there's nothing down there but prostitues and football players!"

"Really," said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."

"No kidding!" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

BROWNCOATS RULE!
Remember Serenity Valley​

 

[lynleestar]

wow, thank you ejoker and Bruce for this great opportunity~!!!

A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!

Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"


"Browncoats Rule!"

 

[rbuck9]

thanks to ejoker and Bruce from COV for the prize

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Browncoats Rule

 

[Kargonet]

Many many thanks to ejoker and Bruce from COV for the awesome prize and to Captain Tightpants for the contest!

Joke:

A senior citizen picked up his brand new Corvette convertible and drove out of the car dealership. As he is going down the road, he decides to floor it up to 80 mph, enjoying the wind passing through the little hair he had. "Amazing," he felt as he flew down the I-90, he jams the pedal down even more as he looks in his rear view mirror, he sees a state trooper right behind him, lights a flashing and siren a blaring. So he floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120 .. suddenly he thought, "What am I doing I'm too old for this!" and pulls over to await the trooper's arrival. The trooper pulling in behind him, walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me one good reason for your speeding that I've never heard of before, I'll let you go on your way." Well the senior citizen paused. Then explained that "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper and I thought you were bringing her back to me!" "Very well! Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.


And last but not least...BROWNCOATS RULE!

 

[440BB]

Thank you ejoker and Bruce from Clouds of Vapor for the chance to win this beautiful GG. This would be my first and probably only mod - why not start with the best?

Carfishing!

A doctor and a lawyer are on the beach and they hear a woman screaming for help. She's 50 feet out in the water, surrounded by sharks. The doctor says, "Oh my god, what are we going to do? I'd try to help her but I'd be eaten too."
The lawyer says, "No problem".

He dives into the surf and swims out to the woman. When he gets close the sharks stop circling and part to allow the lawyer to reach the woman. He then swims with her slowly back to the beach. As he pulls the woman up onto the sand the doctor is in disbelief. "How did you do that?" he asked. "That was amazing!"

"It was no problem" the lawyer responded, "professional courtesy."

Browncoats Rule! OMG ironically a friend lent me the entire series and I haven't watched it yet!

Thanks a lot for making ECF a place to keep coming back to!

 

[2mtech]

WOW that's purty! Thank you, ejoker and Bruce from COV...you guys are da bomb!



A dog limps into a saloon, drags himself onto a barstool, looks the bartender in the eye, and says, "I'm lookin' fer the man who shot my paw!"

Browncoats RULE!!!! (I miss Kaylee )

 

[Ever1ast]

First and most importantly~

Thanks for giving us the opportunity to enter your contest. We really do appreciate it.


I can't claim to be a Firefly fanatic like "some people" around here but I can go the SciFi route for this one

And sticking with that theme:

Getting tired of the SF references yet? Here's a joke for you:




Again...to COV and eJoker...

 

[Chilliwillikers]

Many thanks to Ejoker and Bruce from Clouds of Vapor for the chance to feed my gear lust...hehe

Always got a kick out of this pic:

Lame joke:
The square root of negative one says to pi "Be rational," to which he replies "Get real."

baddum tshhhhh
*gets coat...hehe


Browncoats Rule!

 

[silentt]

Thanks to eJoker and Bruce!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
....
That's cute, but can it pick up peanuts!?


"Browncoats Rule!"

 

[APD99]

Thanks eJoker and Bruce for offering up one heck of a prize

the joke: A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Browncoats Rule!!!!!!

 

[Panky]

An American goes into a bar and sits down next to an English guy.

The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC Lighter.

The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"

The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".

"Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"

"Sure", Says the Englishman.

The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You have one wish" Says the genie.

The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.

About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.

The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?".

Oh and also, Browncoats Rule!

 

[Lauralie]

First: Thanks so much ejoker and Bruce from COV for the prize

Second: Picture I took of a shirt I found that makes me laugh everytime I see it

Third: One of my favorite jokes
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

"It sure was", said the little girl. "My little kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "F$:k the rottweiler ate him!"

Forth: “Browncoats Rule!”

And not because it's a rule but sincerely - thank you so much for the contest! You guys ROCK!!!

 

[fright88]

 

[tonymartini]

thanks for putting up the great prize ejoker and Bruce from COV






A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”

The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex. “Oh I see,” replied the boys pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”

He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, “Why are there three in this package.”

The dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”“Cool!” says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks “Then who are these for?”

“Those are for college men.” the dad answers, “Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.”

“WOW!” exclaimed the boy. “Then who uses these?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…”


They will know us

By the nobility of our actions,
Our devotion to the cause,
Our loyalty to our comrades,
and
BY THE COLOR OF OUR COATS.

BROWNCOATS RULE!!!

 

[mekakeisei]

well my pc is acting weird, and I don't feel like rebooting so I'm limited to whats already on my photobucket, but this picture always makes me laugh so it's worth a shot

Browncoats Rule!!

 

[dmdonald2]

A big thanks to ejoker and Bruce of Clouds of Vapor for offering this prize!

Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."

That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.

Susie perked up: " That's because it's empty", she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

Browncoats Rule!

 

[pchela]

Shiny contest Captain Tightpants!

A big gorram thank you to eJoker and Bruce of Clouds of Vapor for the awesome prize!

Joke - Why did the chicken cross the road?

Mal: Because it's manly and impulsive.

River: Because it understands but it doesn't comprehend.

Wash: Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve chicken, or is this the wrong crowd for that ?

Joss Whedon: You'll never know, because I plan to kill the chicken.

Chicken: No power in the 'verse can stop me!

Niska : To meet his real self.

Early : If there are no cars on the road, is it still a road? Does it still have a purpose?

Fox: Does it have to be a chicken ? Also, could you make it less roady ?

FOX: Can you make the chicken nicer and have it tell some jokes? Actually, we're going to show the chicken before we show the egg, then we're going to cancel the road.

and bonus joke

How many Zoe's does it take to change a lightbulb?
One

From a fellow Browncoat, Browncoats Rule!!!!!