CONTEST - WIN A NEW INNOKIN LEA or LEO Cartomizer - WHITESTAGVAPOR.COM

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Lauralie

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Here, there, everywhere!
Pfizer Corp. (NYSE PFE) is making the announcement today that ...... will
soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola (Pepsi
Bottling Group NYSE PBG) as a power beverage suitable for use as-is, or as
a mixer, under the name "Mount And Do". Pepsi's proposed ad campaign
suggests: "It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a
stiff one."
 

RippleInStillWater

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Americans at work..........:laugh:

not_my_job.jpg
 

RippleInStillWater

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And a Chicago joke.......

A wicked Chicago man died and went to the place all wicked people go. The Devil decided to shove him in a room and cranked the heat and humidity up.

The man smiled. When the Evil One asked why the man was smiling he said: "Just like Chicago in Spring"

So the Most Evil One cranked up the heat and humidity more. The man removed his coat, smiled, and said:

"Just like Chicago in Summer"

This time the Destroyer of Beauty cranked the heat and humidity to maximum.

The man removed his shirt and tie and said

"Just like Chicago in August"

The Devil then got an idea. He shut off the heat and turned on the air conditioning. The room froze in seconds. Ice was everywhere. Polar bears hid in dens because it was so cold. Satan, confident he had finally won, peaked in the man's room only to find the man cheering and partying frantically....

"The Cubs won the World Series...The Cubs won the World Series..."
 

Ceegary

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Adam goes to God and says he needs to discuss this woman Eve that was made for him.
"What is it Adam?"
"Well, she's so different to me, she's soft & curvy, smells real nice..."
"I know, I did that so you'd love her".
"She cooks.. and cleans... my cave's never looked so good".
"I know Adam, I did that so you'd love her. So what's the problem?"
"Well, I just don't understand how she thinks. She so illogical, so emotional...."
"I know Adam, I did that so she'd love you".
 

The Rebel

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My second and last joke for today.

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call.

The other three were discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful, in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny are, and ask what line of work his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay."

As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the bright side, he must be good at what he does, because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars, and a big stock portfolio."
 

cubfanthad

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So there are two pirates. One has a wooden leg, a hook on one hand, and a patch on one eye. The other is just a normal pirate.
The normal pirate says to the other...
"Hey, howed ya get that there wooden leg?"
"I was a swimmin in the ocean and a shark comes along and bites it clean off"
"Arrrg, that's a good pirate thing to have happen to ya! How bout that hook on your arm, howed ya get that?"
"Ahhh, I was in a sward fight, and I was winnin too, when I made a quick move and the devil cut it clean off!"
"Arrrrg, that's a good pirate thing to have happen to ya too! How bout that patch on yer eye, howed ya get that?"
"I was up in the crows nest lookin fer ships, when a seagull comes along and POOPs in me eye!"
"POOPs in yer eye? Howed that make ya go blind?"
"ahhhh.... First day wit me hook."
 

tyleris12

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2nd Post -

Interviewing Adam and Eva

Ask: What's the different between wife and girlfriend?
Adam: 20 pounds in weight

Ask: What's the different between husband and boyfriend?
Eva: 20 minutes in bed

Ask: How do you feel about yours marriage?
Adam: Married too early
Eva: Divorced too late

Ask: Do you both have anything in common?
Eva: Married the same day
Adam: We both like to watch Victoria's Secret Fashion show

Ask: If your wife die, do you have anything to say to her?
Adam: Finally, you're quite

Ask: If your husband die, do you want to say anything to him?
Eva: Finally, you're "hard"
 
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