Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter Nitemist
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I loved Calvin's snowmen:
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/b5402cd82508102d94d7001438c0f03b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/73c5000e250c102d94d7001438c0f03b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/28f74d5c250c102d94d7001438c0f03b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/3322b334250c102d94d7001438c0f03b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/82f0243e250a102d94d7001438c0f03b
But one must not forget the immortal Broomie:
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/4e66ce703612012ea5cb00163e41dd5b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/b5402cd82508102d94d7001438c0f03b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/73c5000e250c102d94d7001438c0f03b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/28f74d5c250c102d94d7001438c0f03b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/3322b334250c102d94d7001438c0f03b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/82f0243e250a102d94d7001438c0f03b
But one must not forget the immortal Broomie:
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/4e66ce703612012ea5cb00163e41dd5b
WoW! Broomhilda takes me back! I'll have to look thru my ucomics page and add her there!
I really have to wonder about watterson - where the inspirations for calvin's snowmen comes from (I know he's given ME plenty of ideas for winter-time... I just gotta make sure the other half isn't home before I make any of them (she stops me every time!)
Subject: Rodney Dangerfields 20 best--funnies
1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had nothing
to play with.
2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I
went over. Nobody was home.
3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other
night she called me from a hotel.
4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said
to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said "Because you came
home early."
5. Its been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put a shirt on and a
button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to
go to the bathroom.
6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept
covering me up.
7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.
8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that
she only liked me as a friend.
9. I'm so ugly...My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with
his wallet.
10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my
father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."
11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness...AFTER I was born.
12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my
finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find
my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I
don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd
get.
16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look
in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I
don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.
My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in
the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a
pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four
times -three of those times I was reading it.
20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control.
21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the
electric chair.
1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had nothing
to play with.
2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I
went over. Nobody was home.
3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other
night she called me from a hotel.
4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said
to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said "Because you came
home early."
5. Its been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put a shirt on and a
button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to
go to the bathroom.
6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept
covering me up.
7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.
8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that
she only liked me as a friend.
9. I'm so ugly...My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with
his wallet.
10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my
father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."
11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness...AFTER I was born.
12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my
finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find
my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I
don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd
get.
16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look
in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I
don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.
My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in
the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a
pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four
times -three of those times I was reading it.
20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control.
21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the
electric chair.
A completely different kind of humor:
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/2a3eb3501479012ea5c900163e41dd5b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/2a3eb3501479012ea5c900163e41dd5b
Rodney's a riot:
another favorite:
I'm an Earth sign, my wife is a Water sign together we make mud.
the other night my wife & I were having sex, in the heat of the moment she started screaming out her own name.
The other day, I caught my wife in bed with the milkman - she made me promise not to tell the butcher!
I know my parents hated me - as I teenager we went through the runaway phase - every time I turned around they were gone!
I know my wife cheats on me - every time I come home, the parrot yells "QUICK out the window"!
After the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself!
My Favorite -
I have the worst luck... I go fishing, I catch nothing - I go to orgies, I catch EVERYTHING!
I miss Rappin' Rodney!
And, Sam Kinison too...
was playing my ipod in the truck, and came across a Howard Stern tribute song called "the sounds of Kinison"...
nearly brought a tear to my eye...
You want fear?
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/f766bff0635d012ee3c300163e41dd5b
I love messing with people's minds, and I applaud the true masters:
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/8b5f25aa250c102d94d7001438c0f03b
And then there are things you just don't want to know:
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/04076f50636a012ee3c300163e41dd5b
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/f766bff0635d012ee3c300163e41dd5b
I love messing with people's minds, and I applaud the true masters:
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/8b5f25aa250c102d94d7001438c0f03b
And then there are things you just don't want to know:
http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/04076f50636a012ee3c300163e41dd5b
What do you think?
The expressions are priceless!
Look at the Queen's face!
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces .
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
Why not send this on to other old farts and bring a smile...or....tear to them!
The expressions are priceless!
Look at the Queen's face!
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces .
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
Why not send this on to other old farts and bring a smile...or....tear to them!
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces .
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
Why not send this on to other old farts and bring a smile...or....tear to them!
(Nitemist, is that an original :cough: poem??)
LOL
I wish..
no, was a forwarded email I got, and near fell off the chair, so I figured I'd share and see if there were any other casualties!
;-)
I wish..
no, was a forwarded email I got, and near fell off the chair, so I figured I'd share and see if there were any other casualties!
;-)
WoW... that was... umm... interesting - wonder what the writers are on (and will they share?) 
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