Dealing with the social aspect of smoking?

[Canadian_Vaper]

Before I start I just want to say I have no problem whatsoever with people who choose to smoke, I know how much of a $%&#@ tobacco can be I smoked for 22 years....

I was recently helping out the inlaws over a period of several days 5 out of 5 of them were smokers actually almost all of my wife's extended family which is huge smoke except 2 that I've "converted" to vaping and a few stragglers that quit cold turkey years and years ago..

A few things I've noticed...

A lighter is worth it's weight in gold, at various points none of them had a lighter at one point when we went to a paint store and they wanted to have a smoke before going in and none of them had a light and were going to drive a KM or so to a nearby store to get one, I didn't feel like wasting the time and wanted to get the work done so i pulled the wicks out of my RDA and lit them.

Smoke breaks.... All the time anytime completely fine to drop everything and go have a smoke, perfectly acceptable despite deadlines for getting the work done, I don't vape nearly as much as I did when I smoked, 3 or so puffs on a dripper and my nicotine levels are just where I want them.

I kept getting offered smokes, but it wasn't just me if you're outside and someone is going to have a smoke they'll offer the people that aren't smoking a smoke. At one point I was thinking of accepting one and crushing it to get the point across that I don't smoke anymore but meh that's not really my style.

It's a very social thing, could chat about all sorts of things when they went out for a smoke, they would all get relaxed and almost open up a bit more, from politics to family issues to just about anything.

I never once had a craving for a cig although I have been vaping for over a year and it's well out of my system..

Anyways...
The social aspect of it has been really getting to me since I noticed it, I remember when I used to go out for a smoke with my wife we'd have very similar chats, it was like a break from everything in the world just to chat, I've tried everything to get her to start vaping but she just isn't interested in it or quitting either I guess, we stopped smoking inside maybe 10 or so years ago... I vape inside, it doesn't bother her at all that I can vape inside and she smokes outside because she understands the difference..

My questions are... if I start going outside with her when she smokes so we can have those chats again should I vape? what if I don't feel like vaping?? I know I don't want to associate vaping with smoking on a personal level...

Will me going outside with her while she's smoking normalize her smoking?, I know sometimes late at night she won't go out for a smoke because she doesn't want to go out alone, it's actually helped her cut down quite a bit I don't know if she's noticed it or not but I have, will me going outside with her make her smoke more is it ethically right?

I wonder if she's noticed the chatting part of it, we've been happier lately but could it get better if I do go out?

Sorry for the wall of text can't get it out of my mind :X

 

[VapieDan]

Putting aside the issue of by-standing smoke, which I believe is greatly exaggerated, I enjoy joining the smokers in smoking areas. I am amazed how they accept vapers and also the interest in vaping. I will say one does encounter more negative comments recently such as " I've heard that's worse than cigarettes" or "I'm not going to blow myself up". A symptom of the current media campaign against vaping. It gives one the opportunity to educate and convert smokers as well. There is no reason why vaping can't be part of that social scene.

 

[ufosnowcat]

understandable, recognisable

lucely i got my wife to convert with and we are both vaping inside.
but in a previous successfull but not permanent attempt to quit analogues 9 years ago (stopped for 4y) i still joined my smoking collegues outside for ther smoke brake, i needed the pauze, the social chat ...

now vaping, at work i still need to go out anyway so no change.
there are a couple of other vapers here but more normal smokers

 

[crxess]

Can't help. I understand it, my wife is a dual user, but after 4 years, I have a hard time with the smell. She no longer smokes around me - by her choice.

I do not hold any negative feelings toward those that still smoke and well remember the times just shooting the Breeze on breaks. I simply cannot participate any longer.

As to associating, don't see it. While still working and being a Vaper, I readily associated with both Smokers and non-smokers. Things seem to have changed in the last year for me.

 

[Nikea Tiber]

I've been trying to get my best friend to quit for... Over five years now. We always smoked together, frequently chain-smoked together. We managed to quit a few times for a few months together, but his parents both smoked constantly his entire life so it is really hard for him.
I haven't had a cigarette this year, and had six in the last 8 months of 2015.
I'd go out and vape while he smoked, but lately Ive stopped to see if the peer pressure will do anything since he has to be alone to smoke now.
Social triggers kept me smoking cigarettes for a lot longer than I wanted to, I guess it is proper to lighten them for friends I'm trying to get to quit.

 

[Mike Geaney]

I have Been off the cigs for close to 11 months now. My wife, who smokes now, tried to quit but it just didn't work. She has not interest in vapeing at the moment. We go outside together like old times. No different. My work recently ended the ability to smoke on campus so that social aspect is gone. It's amazing the things you notice about smoking once you don't.

 

[Douggro]

My questions are... if I start going outside with her when she smokes so we can have those chats again should I vape? what if I don't feel like vaping?? I know I don't want to associate vaping with smoking on a personal level...

Will me going outside with her while she's smoking normalize her smoking?, I know sometimes late at night she won't go out for a smoke because she doesn't want to go out alone, it's actually helped her cut down quite a bit I don't know if she's noticed it or not but I have, will me going outside with her make her smoke more is it ethically right?

I wonder if she's noticed the chatting part of it, we've been happier lately but could it get better if I do go out?

I'm not there in your relationship to grasp all the nuances 'twixt you and the missus, so this is just some of my thoughts of a general nature.

First, you could probably get a lot of answers to your questions by going to the source of them: your wife. Somewhere I think, you would like it if she quit smoking, but she's not ready for that. If you lay out what's going on as it is occurring for you and not make her smoking the source of the issue to where it's threatening to her, that should keep her off the defensive.

Really, it sounds like you're missing those moments where the two of you were connected in conversation. That just happened to be tied to the times when stepping out for a smoke. You could still do that by joining her, vaping optional for you. Or there may be other ways to create that not tied to smoking or vaping together. That's something totally up to the two of you to create together.

 

[roxynoodle]

There is a strong, social aspect. My doctor actually warned me about that part during one of my quit attempts.

I would go out with your wife. Vape if you want to. Maybe have a setup with no nic so you can vape even if you aren't having the urge. She probably misses the chats, too. As a woman, anytime our man actually wants to chat with us, we tend to consider a positive

 

[ReigntheGamer]

Just vape with them while they are on their smoke break. Or vape when your wife wants to have a smoke and a chat. If you don't feel like vaping go anyway, hold your vape in your hand and just talk and not vape. I can almost guarantee you the last thing she will say is,"Why aren't you vaping?".

Just because we aren't smokers anymore doesn't mean we have to throw the socializing with them out the window. Vaping does not force us to be anti-social with smokers only we do that.

So if you have lost that feeling look at your behaviors and find a way to reverse it.

 

[motordude]

Just vape with them while they are on their smoke break. Or vape when your wife wants to have a smoke and a chat. If you don't feel like vaping go anyway, hold your vape in your hand and just talk and not vape. I can almost guarantee you the last thing she will say is,"Why aren't you vaping?".

Just because we aren't smokers anymore doesn't mean we have to throw the socializing with them out the window. Vaping does not force us to be anti-social with smokers only we do that.

So if you have lost that feeling look at your behaviors and find a way to reverse it.

I agree with this!
However, you could bring home a woman that vapes. Just hangout with her until your wife either 1: gets the message and starts to vape. Or 2: kills you.
Problem solved either way.

 

[WattWick]

I generally just vape with the smokers. If some friends are going outside for a smoke, I join'em.

I know this won't score me a lot of vaper-points, but I tend to skip the preaching and conversion speeches. If people are genuinely interested I'll answer any question, but aim to keep it short and simple. Usually it's just "do those things really work?" to which my usual reply is "works wonders for me". Other than that I just vape and pass no judgement nor aim to spark a conversion speech. I know anyone genuinely interested will raise the topic at a more appropriate time anyway. I don't feel like being the focus of all attention and always talk about vaping. So... I just vape and get along.