Sjohnson & Safira:
Wow! I can't believe those A1C results! I would give anything for DH's to be that low. His A1C's run anywhere from the high 8s to mid-10s and we are doing everything humanly possible to keep his sugar levels down. He's on Lantus and Humalog. The Lantus is only once a day, in the morning but the Humalog is throughout the day and into the evening and night.
I want him on the pump but I am in a constant battle with his mother over it. She's a retired LPN and believes the pumps are dangerous, which is of course a crock. A friend I grew up with has a son who is on the pump. Of course, he's had some problems over the years such as a clogged tube and mechanical failure of one but other than that, his life with juvenile diabetes has been a cakewalk compared to what my husband suffered through as a child and even an adult.
Right now we are not only fighting his sugar levels but also his weight, his hunger from the insulin (he says it's like being so hungry you could literally eat cardboard to stave off the hunger), and problem with his heart b/c he has severe heart damage. In addition, he's suffering from severe depression, which he refuses to acknowledge and refuses to take the anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication. Then there is another problem that makes him feel less than a man (I'm sure you can guess that one). Unfortunately, he can't use any of the medications to help that problem b/c it could send him into cardiac arrest and the cardiologist, cardio-thoracic surgeon, and his general practitioner as well as the neurologist have already told him that the next heart attack could very likely kill him. He gets chest pressure after about 10 to 15 mins of any minimally strenuous activity then it becomes chest pain after the 15-min mark forcing him to stop or risk another heart attack.
He is also having vision problems, which worries me terribly. He's gone through diabetic retinopathy before. It was about 6 months before we began dating. It was successful; however, over time he developed cataracts from the laser surgery that cauterized the bursting blood vessels in his retinas. Now, with his sugar levels running so high for the last year and a half now, I don't know if he is experiencing vision loss from age (he's 46 & having trouble reading up close & at a distance), the cataracts have grown to the point where they are obscuring his vision, or if the diabetic retinopathy is back.
One of the biggest arguments we have ever had as a married couple was the day he made the statement that he would kill himself before he would live with blindness from diabetes. I was ......! I was more than ......! I was so angry that I asked him if I should have took my life when I began losing my sight. He didn't like me saying that but turn about is fair play. I also told him that he would be the one to explain to his two daughters why their dad decided death was more agreeable than living with blindness as I have for just under 20 years or being alive and their dad so they could have him with them for as long as humanly possible.
Needless to say, that subject has never come up before though it does still scare me. I am afraid he will attempt to take his life if he loses his vision. If it happens, I will clear every handgun, every rifle, and every shotgun out of our house along with all the shells and have one of brothers put them under lock and key until he gets the help he needs and he knows I have enough hell in me and pure spite for someone who doesn't care about their life to do it. Granted, I went through the stages of grief several times when I learned I was losing my sight then again when it started dropping considerably and then again upon learning I had lupus (SLE) and Sjogren's disease but I never ever even allow myself to consider taking my life. It's far too precious and our children need me whether they are babies or adults.
I have had spells where the pain was so great I thought it would kill me but somehow, I made it through with the help of modern medicine and meditation. If I can catch the pain when it is going to be a doozy early enough, I can meditate with enough concentration to prevent it from becoming so bad. He won't even consider it, even now that he can't move his fingers or make a fist from the cramping caused by arthritis, what the doctors believe is gout, and what I believe may possibly be diabetic neuropathy. I have neuropathy so I know how painful it can be especially in the hands. I lost a promising career after a little more than 10 years to inoperable nerve damage in my right arm that prevented me from keeping my line counts at the minimum in order to continue working so I had to resign. It was then that a friend and a former professor talked me into taking my writing more seriously and working on a professional level only working when my body allowed it so I am never pushing myself too hard. I do this with my articles and manuscripts as well as with my pottery.
I have found that by giving up the analog cigarettes has helped tremendously with my health problems. I can breath better and I don't have the weight of an anvil on my chest from the clogged lungs. Of course I coughed my guts out for 2 weeks straight and thought I was going to cough up a lung a few times but once the crud was gone, I felt lighter, if that makes any sense whatsoever. My doctor is in shock but he is totally on board with any of his patients switching from traditional cigarettes to the e-cigarettes after following my history for a solid year and I see him once every month, more often if I get sick, which happens a lot in the cold and flu season. He is thankful I'm not smoking cigarettes and even more thankful for the e-cigarettes being there to help since the patch and gum didn't help at all. I'd have got more relief from the patch if I'd rolled it and smoked it; as for the gum, all it did was give me TMJ more frequently, which is why I don't chew gum to start with. I was out of options for alternatives until the E-cigs. Plus, I didn't want to stop smoking. It was my only remaining vice. I don't drink like a fish anymore (ie... I'm not out at the roadhouses drinking beer and hustling pool, nor am I had the nightclubs drinking more than I should while listening to live bands or on the dance floor though not with my DH b/c he doesn't dance)... Occasionally I do have a mixed drink or DH will bring home a 6-pack of his favorite beer and a 6-pack of mine. He drinks domestic beer, which i can't stand and I drink import beer but neither of us can finish off a 6-pack alone anymore so we always have a few of each in the fridge for those days when everything just goes wrong and I want to settle down with a good book or a movie and have a beer although those are far and few between as is our wine consumption. Although, the wines I prefer are pricey so we have had to watch how we splurge for that too considering he can't work anymore & we are still working on his disability claim w/help from an attorney.
The house doesn't have the smell of smoke either nor do my clothes. My oldest daughter says that I don't smell like "Mom" anymore. She told me she always felt comfortable and safe in my arms and her most vivid memories is the smell of the specific brand of cigarettes I used to smoke; however, she's more than glad I'm on the e-cigs for my health. I gave her one of my shirts that still had the smell of my cigarettes on it and sealed it in a large ziplock bag so she could have it with her. She literally cried when I gave it to her. Her fiancee tells me she keeps it where she can get it when she has a bad day or just misses me. It makes me glad I gave it to her.
Hopefully, if I can get by my MIL, and get DH back to his endocrinologist, perhaps I can get him to agree to give the pump a chance. He's gaining weight, which is causing excess pressure on his heart not to mention his joints and his sugar levels remain wonky with them up one 3-month period and down the next yet never in the "safe" zone. I think the pump would help with all these problems but again, I can't seem to fight his mother but she's 76 years old and hopefully, the two of us will outlive her. Then I can get my talons into his backside and get him on the pump if we can find a way to afford it or if he can remain on Medicaid with the help of Medicare or better still, if the national health care coverage goes into effect because neither of us are insurable. I called dozens upon dozens of health ins companies over the years and the minute I mentioned juvenile diabetes, retinal eye disease w/ lupus and Sjogren's, I generally got a kurplunk sound on the line though a few did actually tell me we were not insurable b/c of pre-existing conditions.
I can't believe we live in a country (USA) that puts more value on greed than life-saving medications and health care for those who can least afford it. Just one visit with my rheumatologist, not including tests or anything - just an examination by the rheumy costs approx $400. It's ridiculous! What happened to the Hippocratic oath? What happened to putting a person's health before profits? I am ashamed of the health industry and even more ashamed of the pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies. I will always believe they are likely hiding a cure for many diseases because it's not cost effective to cure. They make all their money in treating, not curing. If they cure, then they lose a fortune in profits and that is downright sad and heartless. I realize it's not all roses and champagne in other countries with national health care but at least it is available for everyone. It's a heck of a lot better than we have here.
Sjohnson, before i forget, we have to increase DH's insulin Lantus by 2 units every time he tests on the glucometer above 150. He's up to 130 units every morning of Lantus and it keeps going up in dose. The humalog as you probably know, works differently b/c it's a heavy insulin to take b/c it causes the sugars to drop so dramatically but even his Humalog doses are upwards of 20 to 22-24 units at a time.
The pump is awesome!
My 17 y/o son went from a two-type insulin, aggressive multi-time of day, sliding scale of injection and an A1C of 10.3 to a single type insulin, programmed and fine-tuned auto delivery system that brought him down to A1C 7.9 in less than two months! He looks and feels better (after an initial adjustment period).
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