Family illness and smoking (advice needed)

[beranzo]

Some time last month, I got my first 901 from puresmoker...quickly thereafter a pen style...And I found my cravings/analog smoking to decrease tremendously - even going a full work day without a cigarette...

The last week my Grandfather has been in the hospital, and things are not looking good - Multiple Myeloma may have Metastasized into his central nervous system, which leaves his prognosis as no longer years, but months. I have found, subconsciously now, that I have bought a couple packs of analogs, something I had not done since the last few weeks since i got my first 901.

He basically raised me and was the main male influence in my life (I am male, son of a single mother)

Though I still vape a lot, and smoke less than I used to, I am finding analogs to be that crutch I fall back on to.

It's hard, and though I chose vaping as an alternative, seeing the good it did me in the time I did not buy (my cousin smokes, and I would bum 1-3 analogs off of him a day - down form 12-25 analogs a day) I still feel like it might be the situation that is making me feel this way.

Any advice for a person who was on the right track, still vapes more than he smoked, yet still is smoking more now than he knows he is capable of...?

 

[beranzo]

Worst part is, this last weekend, I took a 2 day mental health/relaxation vacation in New York City (I do this every 2 months or so), and though i had both my 901 and 801 on me with extra batts and carts and juice and attys, I still though I would rather spend $20 buying 2 packs of analogs, rather than use the vaporizers...Mental thing? well, I did, and I feel stupid.

 

[WendyM]

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Feeling stupid and being stupid are two vastly different things. People who are in reality stupid often never feel stupid. That's not to say that lovely and wonderful people on occasion don't do stupid things, but when they do there's an acute awareness of it

I would say if you feel the need for a smoke, take a few good pulls on your VP and if you still crave the smoke-- have at it. You may find that every 3rd or even 4th time vaping will do the trick. Do what you can to increase your vaping enjoyment so that it'll do the trick more frequently.

 

[nitewriter]

Life is tough and we are not perfect. Just do the best you can and be proud of yourself for every single cigarette you can eliminate, and don't beat yourself up for the ones you can't.

One of my favorite quotes "tough times never last, tough people do."

Hang in there!

 

[Mary Kay]

beranzo, For me it's been the opposite, I thought with my mom having to go to so many doctors for multiple health problems (she's 85) that I would be smoking again out of frustration. She has alzheimers and forgets why we are at the doctors or asks them the same things over and over. Instead of smoking, I have been vaping my fool head off. I swear the P.V. is glued to my lips!
Don't get me wrong, I want an analog in the worst way! By all rights I should be smoking! But somewhere along the way, I need my P.V. more then an analog. You will get there too.
Meanwhile..forget the quilt and blame and do what you NEED to do to get you by. You can start over anytime you want. Try to remember the P.V. though when you are at the hospital..just duck in a bathroom or an empty hall and take a few puffs, I promise it will help you until you can go outside.
I will keep your granddad in my thoughts.

 

[wv2win]

Sorry to hear about your situation. That is tough. I started vaping in mid-February, cutting down from 30 a day to 8 a day and then less for the next month. I've been off analogs now for about 47 days. I started with a 901 and an 801. For me, I was able to quit completely once I got the Screwdriver because it is so much more consistent in vapor and throat hit and since the batteries last 7-8 hours I wasn't constantly worried about charging/changing batteries. When I am stressed, I would still like to have an analog but it is much easier with my Screwdriver. This may not work for you but just hang in there. Here are some links:

The Big Four in Manual Switch PV’s:

Screwdriver: ecigscrewdriver.com
Prodigy: PureSmoker.com - Your #1 Source For PV's, Parts, & Accessories!
GG: THE GG
JantyStick: Janty USA

 

[beranzo]

Thanks, all, for your words so far. I have been looking in to getting a JantyStick or similar PV...

...I have to say, MaryKay, you reminded me of a few years back when my mother was on her death bed (she came out of it, thank god, and is 100% healthy now!) and I was smoking almost 2 packs a day! I never did that before that time, or since then, so I guess having a few a day right now is not so bad...if I did not have my PVs, I know I would be smoking a ton. What a wake up call! I do see the difference between now and past experiences.

wv2win - thanks for the links. I'll look in to them.

Again, I appreciate everyone's kind words!

 

[woodslady1]

beranzo, you hang in there. I agree with what's been said already, and I firmly believe that you shouldn't beat yourself up so badly for having an analog here and there and, especially, under the stress you're enduring. Just remember, you most likely didn't start smoking 25 analogs a day...you'll get there. I'm unlike most who find smoking an analog now tastes horrible...I'm still sneaking a puff here and there and enjoying it (sadly)...but I HAVE gone from 2 1/2 packs a day for the past 37 years down to 1/4-1/2 analog a day with vaping. To me, this is a victory and I fully intend on eliminating that one stinky cigarette I cling to every day. I know you will be victorious, as well. Good Luck!!!

 

[CJsKee]

Berenzo, so sorry about your grandfather...it is so hard when our loved ones are ill.

Like everyone before me has said, if you want/need a cig, by all means have one then move on. I'm sure you will come out ahead in the long run.

Try to hang in there and keep in touch with the forum...that will be a big help to you.

 

[Judge Mental]

I just love this place.

No need to reinterate what everyone else has said so eloquently.

Sending much love, light and support your way, beranzo.

Suzi

 

[jreamer]

I just love this place.

No need to reinterate what everyone else has said so eloquently.

Sending much love, light and support your way, beranzo.

Suzi

same......

 

[Kate51]

Worst part is, this last weekend, I took a 2 day mental health/relaxation vacation in New York City (I do this every 2 months or so), and though i had both my 901 and 801 on me with extra batts and carts and juice and attys, I still though I would rather spend $20 buying 2 packs of analogs, rather than use the vaporizers...Mental thing? well, I did, and I feel stupid.

Bless your heart, I think a couple packs of cigarettes is not only forgiveable but totally understandable. Don't be afraid to show you e-cig EVER AGAIN...this is YOUR choice and no one can make your decisions but you!
We lost our belived daughter two years ago to Mylenoma, very quickly! She tried so hard so many times to quit smoking, she would be proud of me for doing the e-cig route. So SHOW IT OFF, and you're not alone, friend.

 

[steven.rn]

Ya know, vaping is every bit as good, even better, than smoking analogs- its the HABIT part that's hardest to overcome. It took me about a month, first week 50/50, then 75/25, then 90/10 and now, I still get the feeling now and then I want an analog, but I smoke half of one and it makes me feel pukey- the taste of the burning leaves left in your mouth and lungs feels crummy.

Now that I'm free for a few days at a time from analogs, it's funny going to work and smelling the smokers around you- you can always tell. Sheesh, I used to think I was a "stealth" smoker.... yahrite.

Sorry about your grandfather- I'm a nurse and I work in Hospice and that's a tough time for all of you. Get the most and connect while you can; say all the things you want/need to say and hear what you can while the sun shines.

 

[Vicks Vap-oh-Yeah]

When the worst cravings hit, spike your PV with some 36mg solution in the flavor you love the most....that usually takes the edge off the craving...

And if you still need an analog, have one....consider it a setback, and remind yourself that it's only 1 - not 2, or 5, or 10, or a pack...

The only time you've failed to "quit" is if you give up - never give up.

 

[QueenInNC]

When the worst cravings hit, spike your PV with some 36mg solution in the flavor you love the most....that usually takes the edge off the craving...

And if you still need an analog, have one....consider it a setback, and remind yourself that it's only 1 - not 2, or 5, or 10, or a pack...

The only time you've failed to "quit" is if you give up - never give up.

I agree with what Vicks said!

 

[beranzo]

Thank you all for your thoughts and support. It definitely makes the whole situation a little easier to swallow.

..or vape...? haha.

Thank you so much. I had no idea the love, respect, and support on this forum was so strong.

 

[Yirabeth]

I gotta agree with everyone else..stop the guilt, it's not helping you. Trust me I'm a professional guilter...I think I'm guilty of everything under the sun! But guilt leads to feeling like you're worthless so it doesn't matter, etc... With all that's going on with you, if you keep yourself sane, and helping the people you need to help, I think you can consider yourself a success. Look at the whole picture, not just the analog you smoked. See the forest, not just the trees

One thing I've been doing is using a very HIGH nic fluid for cravings. I am vaping 11mg as my normal, but when I'm being stressed out etc I grab that bottle of 36mg and I vape an entire cartridge, if that's what it takes...sometimes my throat is sore when I'm done with it, the stuff has throat kick IN SPADES. But it keeps me off the analogs... Maybe that will help you too

~Yira