For those with kids...

[surich]

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN​

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes
as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.​

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes
for as long as possible.​

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes
ARE your regular clothes.

______________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:​

1st baby: You practice your
breathing religiously.​

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember
that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.​

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural
in your eighth month.​

______________________________________________________

The Layette:​

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them,
and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.​

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean
and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.​

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink,
can't they?​

______________________________________________________

Worries:​

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--
you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails
threaten to wake your firstborn.​

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old
how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________

Pacifier:​

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor,
you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.​

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor,
you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.​

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt
and pop it back in.​

______________________________________________________

Diapering:​

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.​

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours,
if needed.​

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain
about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.​

_______________________________________________________

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour..​

2nd baby: You take your infant to
Baby Gymnastics..​

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket
and the dry cleaners.

______________________________________________________

Going Out:​

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.​

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door,
you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.​

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter
to call only if she sees blood.​

______________________________________________________

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day
just gazing at the baby.​

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your
older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.​

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day
hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):​

1st child: When first child swallows a coin,
you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin,
you carefully watch for the coin to pass.​

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin
you deduct it from his allowance!​

______________________________________________________

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children...
or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children...
(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

______________________________________________________

GRANDCHILDREN:
God's reward for allowing your children to live!

-end-​

 

[Niniane]

Lol, awesome post!

 

[surich]

My daughter (baby #4 !) sent this to me. I couldn't keep from sharing, since it is SO true! LOL!

Glad you enjoyed...

 

[Poldara]

Thank you for that! Made me laugh. I only have one though.

 

[surich]

Only one? All I can say is either you are very smart, or "your turn is coming!"

 

[Mary Kay]

I did step 3 on baby#1..They turned out fine..yeah..fine...sure8-o

 

[surich]

Oh... I don't know about that... out of 4 kids, my youngest seems to have her act together the most. And the poor dear was lost among the crowd growing up... (She has since forgiven me!)

She's the only one of the brood that has a plan for her life, and actually works at it! LOL

 

[Mary Kay]

Maybe it's like my plants..the ones that are in the house and pampered die, the ones I put outside and forget..do just fine!

 

[maryjo]

Thanks, I like that. Sure is different when the grandkids come along.

 

[Mary Kay]

Feeling the Baby Move

First Child: I placed my hand on my wife's tummy every
chance I could for two months waiting for that first time when I could
feel the baby move. Hours upon hours I waited until that magic moment,
when I felt this little movement. We called all of our relatives to tell
them about the blessed experience.

Second Child: When it first happened, my wife called
me at the office. I quickly ran home and felt the baby move. We included
the experience in all of our letters to our family.

Third Child: She told me the baby moved. I told her I
would check it out during the next commercial break. I missed out because
her mother called on the telephone so I went on watching Monday night
football. By the end of the third quarter, I finally felt the baby move.

Fourth Child: We were in bed and I was trying to
sleep. I turned to her and said "Can't you make your tummy stay still? I'm
trying to sleep." When it became clear that the baby would be jumping
around for a while, we called the pizza man for a delivery.

 

[Jennee26]

Feeling the Baby Move

First Child: I placed my hand on my wife's tummy every
chance I could for two months waiting for that first time when I could
feel the baby move. Hours upon hours I waited until that magic moment,
when I felt this little movement. We called all of our relatives to tell
them about the blessed experience.

Second Child: When it first happened, my wife called
me at the office. I quickly ran home and felt the baby move. We included
the experience in all of our letters to our family.

Third Child: She told me the baby moved. I told her I
would check it out during the next commercial break. I missed out because
her mother called on the telephone so I went on watching Monday night
football. By the end of the third quarter, I finally felt the baby move.

Fourth Child: We were in bed and I was trying to
sleep. I turned to her and said "Can't you make your tummy stay still? I'm
trying to sleep." When it became clear that the baby would be jumping
around for a while, we called the pizza man for a delivery.

Cute Markay. The one from Surich was cute too. But I don't have any kiddos so I can't really comment too much on this thread.

 

[surich]

I love it! Reminds me when I went into labor with the 4th one. My hubby said, "Well, we know how long it takes, so I have time to watch the 4th quarter! (football) 8-o

Feeling the Baby Move

First Child: I placed my hand on my wife's tummy every
chance I could for two months waiting for that first time when I could
feel the baby move. Hours upon hours I waited until that magic moment,
when I felt this little movement. We called all of our relatives to tell
them about the blessed experience.

Second Child: When it first happened, my wife called
me at the office. I quickly ran home and felt the baby move. We included
the experience in all of our letters to our family.

Third Child: She told me the baby moved. I told her I
would check it out during the next commercial break. I missed out because
her mother called on the telephone so I went on watching Monday night
football. By the end of the third quarter, I finally felt the baby move.

Fourth Child: We were in bed and I was trying to
sleep. I turned to her and said "Can't you make your tummy stay still? I'm
trying to sleep." When it became clear that the baby would be jumping
around for a while, we called the pizza man for a delivery.

 

[annah]

That almost completely fits me- except the wee detail that I didn't practice breathing with any of them, and don't have a mechanical swing, and I don't let any of my babies cry- period.

I really think there needs to be a section about pictures: #1- you take pictures of everything- a piece of cake on the eyelash, a funny look, etc. #2, you try to remember to grab pics of the oldest, when you take the pics of the baby- which are now *maybe* taken monthly. #3- where's that damned camera at?

I do have 3- (was 3 under 3 for a while, but oldest finally turned 4)

 

[Jennee26]

I love it! Reminds me when I went into labor with the 4th one. My hubby said, "Well, we know how long it takes, so I have time to watch the 4th quarter! (football) 8-o

Sounds like something my husband would say if I were in labor with our FIRST. Good thing I'm not pregnant and due in the next few months during football season.

 

[annah]

I love it! Reminds me when I went into labor with the 4th one. My hubby said, "Well, we know how long it takes, so I have time to watch the 4th quarter! (football) 8-o

dear god, I'd kill dh if he did that kind of crap to me again. The last time, he didn't bother to come home when I was in labor, and tried to leave again the next morning! (35 hour labor on my 3rd) Next time, I'm going to demand his full and complete attention the ENTIRE time!

 

[Mary Kay]

Annh, Just remind him of that the next time it's baby making time..if you want attention now..listen up!

 

[Jennee26]

dear god, I'd kill dh if he did that kind of crap to me again. The last time, he didn't bother to come home when I was in labor, and tried to leave again the next morning! (35 hour labor on my 3rd) Next time, I'm going to demand his full and complete attention the ENTIRE time!

That's when you grab him by the balls and say Your NOT going ANYwhere! 8-o

 

[surich]

I hear you! My DH is from Wisconsin, Green Bay Packer territory, and OMG! There are football fans, and then, there are PACKER fans! The one time I told him what the penalty was before the referee announced it, he said "I love a woman who knows her penalties!" ROFL

 

[Jennee26]

I hear you! My DH is from Wisconsin, Green Bay Packer territory, and OMG! There are football fans, and then, there are PACKER fans! The one time I told him what the penalty was before the referee announced it, he said "I love a woman who knows her penalties!" ROFL

Everyman does. I don't know my football penalties. (Not into football) But I sure do know my Hockey and baseball! Especially Hockey!

 

[surich]

Everyman does. I don't know my football penalties. (Not into football) But I sure do know my Hockey and baseball! Especially Hockey!

I never follow hockey. We don't get enough snow, and I always think the team can't compete with out it! (I know, not true, but I'm clueless about hockey! LOL)