So as I mentioned in another post, trying to get my fiance to switch over to vaping totally, she only does it in front of me, but I know she doesnt do it when I am not around. I am the one who refills her pen and I havent done it 3 weeks, I feel 100% better since off the butts. How can I convince her to switch!
getting fiance to switch
- Thread starter Lumberit
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You can't convince anyone of anything until they're ready and willing to be convinced.
The best way to try and get her more interested is to find new flavors, and hope she'll find one that so totally beats the flavor of cigarettes, she'll be glad to switch, but until SHE makes that choice, there's really nothing you can do about it. You can also emphasize how delighted you are with your FREEDOM from cigarettes, but if she doesn't consider smoking to be a form of imprisonment, a ball and chain that must be dragged everywhere, it won't really impress her. Try to figure out what, if anything, she most dislikes about smoking, and emphasize how that no longer applies, if vaping exclusively.
That's really about the best you can do. If you try to force her into it, she'll resist all the harder.
Andria
The best way to try and get her more interested is to find new flavors, and hope she'll find one that so totally beats the flavor of cigarettes, she'll be glad to switch, but until SHE makes that choice, there's really nothing you can do about it. You can also emphasize how delighted you are with your FREEDOM from cigarettes, but if she doesn't consider smoking to be a form of imprisonment, a ball and chain that must be dragged everywhere, it won't really impress her. Try to figure out what, if anything, she most dislikes about smoking, and emphasize how that no longer applies, if vaping exclusively.
That's really about the best you can do. If you try to force her into it, she'll resist all the harder.
Andria
I'll tell you what, I failed to convert a lot of people but what I was doing was having them buy a twist and clearo and then giving them my old juices that I knew I wouldnt vape, MBV, vapor bomb, etc. This was a 100% failure rate over the course of a year. The last two people I tried to convert, I had them buy the same setup but gave them each a tank of my 5 pawns and then ordered them a sampler. Both of them switched and raved about vaping. So try getting her really good juice.
If that doesnt work start guilt tripping her by turning your nose up and acting like her eau du ashtray smell is unbearable
If that doesnt work start guilt tripping her by turning your nose up and acting like her eau du ashtray smell is unbearable
Agree with the above, it's a tough pickle. There are lots of factors that go into someone smoking, and if you play your cards wrong you'll create a whole lot of tension. Do what you enjoy, and make efforts to make sure it isn't perceived as "your thing." But besides letting her try whatever she wants to when she wants to "oooh, that smells good" "I know, here try!" about the best you can do is enjoy the hell out of it.
And hey, I've heard of worse reasons for dropping someone.
And hey, I've heard of worse reasons for dropping someone.
I agree. I know from first-hand experience that going into a marriage with the thought of changing someone is guaranteed to fail, with lots of angst, screaming, and tears along the way. And divorces are expensive.
Andria
Best you can do is keep vaping. If it works for you, she may see the light. I've been married for 39 years...why?...cause I never TOLD her to do anything. Come to think of it, I can't remember even suggesting that she should do something. Well there was that one time....but I learn fast.
You have pretty much gotten you answers Lumberit but I just wanted to
to ecf. So glad to have you here and you can probably already tell what a wonderful place it is to be. I tried to think about what I would do in your situation and all I could come up with is I wonder if she likes what she is using? Maybe getting something that might intrigue her. Different juices to try would also promote added usage maybe. I have got several to switch and I mainly offered them some very good flavors to try and see what would appeal to them. Most of all just be patient. I know it hard because you care and you want what is best for her. Good luck to you and I look forward to reading more about you. Please let us know how it goes because it may help others in the same situation. Congrats to you on your vaping. It is awesome.
If you can't handle her smoking, she's not the one for you. You'd nag her and scold her if she relapsed after vaping for a bit and she'd blame you for being a controlling turd.
T
T
Heh... I'm convinced that a large part of why my husband and I have been together for 28 yrs now is that we were both married before -- we came to this one with no expectations that the other would do anything -- hopefully continue reciprocating our interest and love, but other than that... sky's the limit. He's himself, and I'm me, and we're fine with that. He's delighted that I quit smoking, but all along the way it's been "that's great!" but not "You have to/need to do this" -- like you, he knows better.
Andria
Wow some great responses, first I am not dropping her, I just dropped $8000 for a diamond ring which I am asking her tomorrow to marry me, she is perfect in everyway except the smoking, Ill get her there. a year ago the idea of vaping was off the table, at least she owns a pen now....
That's cool; I had to wait till our 20th anniversary before I got any diamonds -- now I have about 10 tiny ones in an anniversary band -- I told him it should have been 20, but he told me to be grateful for what he could afford.
Andria
Perhaps you could encourage her to join ECF. She could describe what she like or doesn't like about her vaping and setup to the community easier. Vaping is so varied there's almost certainly an answer for anyone.
ECF even has a Women's Room for advice on accessorizing and getting the proper bling, coordinating her setup as not to clash with any outfit. (probably a bunch of other stuff I will never understand....runs and hides)
Yet another way I'm unlike other women. I don't give a rat's patootie about it matching my outfit, but it should match what's inside it! I'm using my red ARO Winder for my new strawberry DIY, and I'm hot on the trail of a coordinating red driptip to go on the kayfun (with clear M-tank) that's got the strawberry in it. The flared cone under the Kayfun looks excellent on the Winder, it's exactly the same diameter at the base, as the Winder, so it appears to flow continuously. Now I just need that red driptip, dark glossy red so it looks good paired with the Winder. That's the kind of esthetics I'm concerned about, hang the outfit.
Andria
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My wife still smokes. Its okay. I do avoid slurpy, sloppy, suck-face kisses though.
Was that TMI??
Was that TMI??
My wife still smokes. Its okay. I do avoid slurpy, sloppy, suck-face kisses though.
Was that TMI??
Uhhhh, YES!
Congratulations! Lead by example. Almost ignore it (as best you can.) NOBODY likes to be told they're wrong or to do this or to do that. You just keep on keeping on, and WHEN she's ready, she'll follow suit. Quitting smoking is as much a mental game as anything. I finally quit after I decided I didn't want to spend money on BOTH vape stuff and cigarettes.
Hang in there
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