Good Ole Analogs
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Truly inspired thread! Here is my sorry story of many moons ago.
I went to a friend's wedding with a guy I had just met. He was so cute..
sorry!
Anyway, I was sitting at a table with him flirting and kind of swinging my stockinged high heeled leg. (Guys, if she flips her hair and swings her leg..she is into you!! Or else she has had one too many) About that time the ash and cherry of my oh so long cigarette falls off. It took a few seconds to figure out where they went. No longer were my eyes smoldering but my foot sure was! Back then I am sure the stocking makers never heard of fire ......ent hose. There was smoke! I did a high kick and my shoe went flying, I grabbed the arch of my foot and burned my hand. meanwhile my date grabbed my stocking toe in an effort to help. I think he thought he could pull it off! 8-o Honey those garters held fast! I jumped up and stomped around and saw about 100 people looking at me..I grabbed my purse pulled off my right shoe and left, sans cute guy, sans left shoe, never saw either of them again...for that matter I never saw the groom, my friend again!?
I went to a friend's wedding with a guy I had just met. He was so cute..
sorry! Anyway, I was sitting at a table with him flirting and kind of swinging my stockinged high heeled leg. (Guys, if she flips her hair and swings her leg..she is into you!! Or else she has had one too many) About that time the ash and cherry of my oh so long cigarette falls off. It took a few seconds to figure out where they went. No longer were my eyes smoldering but my foot sure was! Back then I am sure the stocking makers never heard of fire ......ent hose. There was smoke! I did a high kick and my shoe went flying, I grabbed the arch of my foot and burned my hand. meanwhile my date grabbed my stocking toe in an effort to help. I think he thought he could pull it off! 8-o Honey those garters held fast! I jumped up and stomped around and saw about 100 people looking at me..I grabbed my purse pulled off my right shoe and left, sans cute guy, sans left shoe, never saw either of them again...for that matter I never saw the groom, my friend again!?
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If the antis really want to get people to quick smoking they need to write a movie script based on this thread. It has every thing: comedy, love, heartbreak, angst and burning left shoes.
I think it could be sorted into vingettes, we could pick who would play as ourselves.
I could easily be played by Lori Petty, she did a pretty swell job as Tank Girl.
I could easily be played by Lori Petty, she did a pretty swell job as Tank Girl.
Whoa... now that you vape, and I vape, we both know there IS no such thing as hiding that smell - we used to like to THINK we were able to hide it
I am very clumsy and would always either drop my analog on my lap, down my shirt, or on the floor and then pick it up by the wrong end and burn my tongue. I still have to be careful about dropping the ecig on the floor (I killed a battery that way), but I like not burning my tongue, thighs, and cleavage. I also love being able to breath through my nose again.
Super Newb Chimin in on this one.
On a navy Ship, there is a "Smoke Deck" where all the smokers congregate to get their fix. On a particular Aircraft Carrier I was on, the smoke deck was a small, dank storage room with a 5 x 5 window with a screen mesh on. Well, 3000+ people, you're going to have a pretty big turnout to smoke. Needless to say, the room was not well ventilated, and the "Fog" was so thick that just stepping in there burned your eyes, and caused you to smell so bad that all the guys that you live with in your sleeping quarters hate you because you Literally stink to high heaven.
Also, same line, the .... can that never gets emptied, and it catches on fire and everyone just stares at it, until you walk over and pour your cup of Starbucks on it to get it out without thinking, then you kick yourself when you realize you just put a fire out with a 6.00 cup of coffee
Certainly not least, the Cigarette Bums; You know the type. Gets paid just as much as you do, and yet NEVER has a smoke on them. "Left em in my car" "Just Ran Out", etc.
You always see them coming and people avoid them like the plaque, and they start making their rounds, asking everyone in sight. Used to love those guys, kept a really stale pack of cigs in my right pocket to give out. You can bet the habitual bums got 1 maybe 2 off of me Then they learned quickly.
And Finally, dead of winter, bundle up, shuffle outside, light up in your coat, smoke 3-4 HUGE drags(you know the ones, where you taste death itself.)Than throw it out and rush back inside. You complain about how cold it is, but yet 2-3 hours later, where ya at? Repeating the cycle!
Not going to miss those days, I tell ya what.
On a navy Ship, there is a "Smoke Deck" where all the smokers congregate to get their fix. On a particular Aircraft Carrier I was on, the smoke deck was a small, dank storage room with a 5 x 5 window with a screen mesh on. Well, 3000+ people, you're going to have a pretty big turnout to smoke. Needless to say, the room was not well ventilated, and the "Fog" was so thick that just stepping in there burned your eyes, and caused you to smell so bad that all the guys that you live with in your sleeping quarters hate you because you Literally stink to high heaven.
Also, same line, the .... can that never gets emptied, and it catches on fire and everyone just stares at it, until you walk over and pour your cup of Starbucks on it to get it out without thinking, then you kick yourself when you realize you just put a fire out with a 6.00 cup of coffee
Certainly not least, the Cigarette Bums; You know the type. Gets paid just as much as you do, and yet NEVER has a smoke on them. "Left em in my car" "Just Ran Out", etc.
You always see them coming and people avoid them like the plaque, and they start making their rounds, asking everyone in sight. Used to love those guys, kept a really stale pack of cigs in my right pocket to give out. You can bet the habitual bums got 1 maybe 2 off of me
Then they learned quickly.And Finally, dead of winter, bundle up, shuffle outside, light up in your coat, smoke 3-4 HUGE drags(you know the ones, where you taste death itself.)Than throw it out and rush back inside. You complain about how cold it is, but yet 2-3 hours later, where ya at? Repeating the cycle!
Not going to miss those days, I tell ya what.
Everyone her is pretty on-point. But there is something about a Lucky Strike that feels like a warm blanket.
Maybe I should get an " L.S./M.F.T. " tattoo to commemorate.
alas, all good things must come to an end.
only trouble is... just a few days before deciding to make the switch, i put in an order for 3 cartons! should get them after the holiday. and oooh, they will be very tempting.
any ex-Lucky Strike'rs???
Maybe I should get an " L.S./M.F.T. " tattoo to commemorate.
alas, all good things must come to an end.
only trouble is... just a few days before deciding to make the switch, i put in an order for 3 cartons! should get them after the holiday. and oooh, they will be very tempting.
any ex-Lucky Strike'rs???
Got one of those seal a meal things? Stick them in there and pop them in the freezer.
When the zombie apocalypse hits you can use those Lucky Strikes as currency amongst the still human survivors. You'll be rich! (At least in the post zombie apocalypse economy.)
When the zombie apocalypse hits you can use those Lucky Strikes as currency amongst the still human survivors. You'll be rich! (At least in the post zombie apocalypse economy.)
Excellent thread Richie G !! Thank you
>
I simply set the tone, Ladycats. 'Tis a group effort. Keep in mind, none of these anecdotes were funny at the time. <g> I bet there are more wedding gown (veil) stories out there that aren't being shared. The biggest day of a gal's life, very flammable article of clothing and nerves = lots of careless smoking. As for us guys, I guarantee we burned holes through our tuxedo pants/shirt/jacket too but we've forgotten all about it 'cause they were rented and we could care less. LOL
<dramatic narrative voice>
"The stories you have heard are true. The names were changed to protect the innocent. 'Cept sometimes they weren't" =)
Ok... I've set my ashtray on fire more times than I care to think about.. Once, I set my plastic trashcan on fire, grabbed it, and tossed it in the shower... Unfortunately, the bottom of the can was already melted, and grabbing it sent little burning paper bits all over the carpet... I immoliated a corner of my room, and had to put it out with urine... It probably still smells horrible... And, in a work van with ~ 20k of electronics inside, I started a huge fire. Soon as I get my shipment, I'm off analogs for good.
Just the other day I thought I put out my barely smoked anolog out before getting on the bus just to have the bus driver yell at me to throw out my lit cigarette, lol.
My ex-hubby always seemed to have a habit of dropping his ciggie while driving - it always ended up in a delicate place and he would be leaping up and down trying to find it from underneath him - while still driving.
I always seem to drop them on the floor while driving and trying to pick them and watch out the window before everything catches fire has always been fun.
I always drove with the window open when I smoked and am looking forward to vapeing and not getting rained on in the car on wet and windy days
I always seem to drop them on the floor while driving and trying to pick them and watch out the window before everything catches fire has always been fun.
I always drove with the window open when I smoked and am looking forward to vapeing and not getting rained on in the car on wet and windy days
I used to have a Buick Skylark with a sunroof.
Thinking I was hot stuff I always used the sunroof to flick my ashes (plus, I really suck at the ashes out the cracked side window, they ALWAYS came back in my face).
I lived in Florida at the time and it was hurricane season.
Lit an analog, took a few puffs, stuck my hand up to flick...
Smashed it against the roof.
Hole in my roof upholstery, small holes all over all four of my seats and I reeked of burnt hair for the rest of the day.
A few years later...
I was dating this really foxy guy (notice me kissing up? In case said foxy guy reads this. He's my now husband) and we went to the mall.
Instead of complaining the entire time, Foxy Guy found an awesome shirt he liked.
Foxy Guy liked Awesome Shirt so much that he changed as soon as he got in the car.
We both lit an analog, smoked them (no sunroof, so I wore ashes in my face even years later) and flicked them out the windows.
Within minutes I smelled smoke.
You know where this is going...
I had to lean over and put Foxy Guy out.
Huge hole in the side of Awesome Shirt the size of a half dollar.
To this day I still pick on him about it whenever he put Awesome Shirt on.
Thinking I was hot stuff I always used the sunroof to flick my ashes (plus, I really suck at the ashes out the cracked side window, they ALWAYS came back in my face).
I lived in Florida at the time and it was hurricane season.
Lit an analog, took a few puffs, stuck my hand up to flick...
Smashed it against the roof.
Hole in my roof upholstery, small holes all over all four of my seats and I reeked of burnt hair for the rest of the day.
A few years later...
I was dating this really foxy guy (notice me kissing up? In case said foxy guy reads this. He's my now husband) and we went to the mall.
Instead of complaining the entire time, Foxy Guy found an awesome shirt he liked.
Foxy Guy liked Awesome Shirt so much that he changed as soon as he got in the car.
We both lit an analog, smoked them (no sunroof, so I wore ashes in my face even years later) and flicked them out the windows.
Within minutes I smelled smoke.
You know where this is going...
I had to lean over and put Foxy Guy out.
Huge hole in the side of Awesome Shirt the size of a half dollar.
To this day I still pick on him about it whenever he put Awesome Shirt on.
This thread makes me happy and even more excited about my blu getting here.........eventually im keeping my fingers crossed and hoping i get it by the end of this week.
I think i have been moved to share.
First let me start off by saying i realise how ****ed up i was when i was younger but being young and a delinquent and drunk is one hell of a combination. I have 3 smiley faces on my arm. for those of you unaware that is when you hold your flame on your lighter so the metal part heats up and when you press it against your skin it leaves a burn the shape of a smiley face ok maybe thats not a smoke story just a stupid kid story.
Perhaps this one will be more relevant. i was walking outside to the smoking area at my last job about 3 years ago i get my smoke out and get my lighter out and absentmindedly light up.......while still in the building. realizing imediately after getting a good cherry going that i am inside i imediately put it out in my hand and "swallow" the smoke. the sick thing about all this story is i was ...... about missing my smoke break because i had to run into the bathroom to tend to my wounds and vomit.
I think i have been moved to share.
First let me start off by saying i realise how ****ed up i was when i was younger but being young and a delinquent and drunk is one hell of a combination. I have 3 smiley faces on my arm. for those of you unaware that is when you hold your flame on your lighter so the metal part heats up and when you press it against your skin it leaves a burn the shape of a smiley face ok maybe thats not a smoke story just a stupid kid story.
Perhaps this one will be more relevant. i was walking outside to the smoking area at my last job about 3 years ago i get my smoke out and get my lighter out and absentmindedly light up.......while still in the building. realizing imediately after getting a good cherry going that i am inside i imediately put it out in my hand and "swallow" the smoke. the sick thing about all this story is i was ...... about missing my smoke break because i had to run into the bathroom to tend to my wounds and vomit.
Well, at 48, I like to think of myself as no longer a stupid kid, but I've never heard that before and now have the inexplicable desire to try it!
Guess that makes me a stupid BIG kid!
thanks Wendy! thats great!
a fellow OR resident eh? can you believe this weather? the sun feel ssooooo good after our long winter.
a fellow OR resident eh? can you believe this weather? the sun feel ssooooo good after our long winter.
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