Good Ole Analogs

[Richie G]

So, I'm reading through the myriad of posts here and wealth of information that exists and it occurs to me that there is a common denominator among us smokers, ex-smokers, vaporers and soon-to-be vaporers -- we all like to ...... <g> We all want our PVs to do what they can't do regardless of what we have. We like facets of one type and want to combine it with something else. In our Utopia, we would have, say, a black super mini that hit and lasted as long as a SD and it would cost about $9. Consumables would be free for life with that $9 investment too, natch.

We don't just *speak* of our analogs of yore, we reminisce of them. We have vaulted those analogs into a pseudo stratosphere where we (Roger Clemens-ism coming) *mis-remember* them. Yeah, they were a good friend, no doubt. But like the e-cigs, they mis-fired too. They were defective at times and had their quirks. For instance, you just washed your hands and didn't do the best job of wiping them dry, you grab for the analog when it gets wet and breaks off at the filter. Colour that akin to a bad cart. How 'bout this one -- you've just come out of the dentist's office where you had a stressful time of it. You reach for your analog but your lighter has bit the dust. Colour that one akin to a dead battery. How about when it's a cold winter day, your lips are a little dry, you go to take a drag off that analog when the paper filter sticks to your upper lip while your index finger and forefinger slide forward until they settle around the lighted head producing a nice little burn while you choke awhile cause you still havent exhaled yet. Colour than akin to --- well, nothing I can think of.

Analogs. Pshaw. They're so not what we remember them to be. Now, just as soon as I figure out what my new brand/type/style/color/length/etc of e-cig is going to be, I'll be all set to put those memories of analogs to bed forever. <g>

 

[Annastasia]

How about when it's a cold winter day, your lips are a little dry, you go to take a drag off that analog when the paper filter sticks to your upper lip while your index finger and forefinger slide forward until they settle around the lighted head producing a nice little burn while you choke awhile cause you still havent exhaled yet. Colour than akin to --- well, nothing I can think of.

Oh my god, I used to do that all the time.

That, or I'd wake up in the morning and accidentally grab my "lucky" cigarette, stick it in my mouth backwards, and light the filter. Gag.

Great idea for a thread!

 

[WendyM]

I took to the MYO because Camel had a habit of producing the most wrong and foulest packs every once in a while. At $4+ a packet (this was pre-the-insane-tax-increase) who can afford to toss out the stinky pack?

Does anyone know the origin of the random nasty pack? Did they stuff a dead rat into one of their machines?

Love the thread BTW

 

[Vicks Vap-oh-Yeah]

How about this one.....you have 1 cigarette in your pack, in your coat pocket....someone sits on your coat, and snap....the thing's cracked right at the filter.

You can try to fix it, but you know it's not going to be nearly as good as a full, fresh, non-mussed one...

 

[aschmidy]

I really miss pulling the cigarette out of my mouth and half of my lip comes with it! Ouch!

 

[boxhead]

that sound of the lighter ingniting (zippo,kaboom)...the sound of paper and tobacco catching...szszszzss...

 

[RayJ1]

The worst analog experience I had was while driving. I normally crack the window slightly to let the smoke out, and have enough room to flick the ash. One day I was driving and flicked the ash a little to hard and didn't realize it. The red hot ash had broken off and flew back into the window. I was leaning slightly forward and the hot ash had lodged itself between my shoulder and the car seat. When I looked at the tip of my analog, I thought I had flicked the ash out the window. Well.... that thought was dispelled about 30 seconds later when I felt the ash burn through my shirt into the skin on my back....OUCH!! Of course... I'm driving in rush hour ... in the middle lane... and nowhere to turn off quickly. That just plain sucked....burnt seat... hole in shirt.. burned skin.... and a whole lotta curse words about smoking!

 

[MrKrinkle]

I concur with everything every last one of ya has said thus far...

 

[Idahojo]

Richie G., welcome first of all. You are absolutely right!!! So many of us complain about the trials and tribulations of ecigs and there were just as many with the analogs!! No one mentioned the morning after a party and you're parched like all get out, grab a glass or can you were drinking the night before and guess what's in it!!! I only did that once. Learned my lesson well. Take your hung over hiney to the kitchen for something fresh to drink!!! That happened of course in my way younger years! LOL

 

[aschmidy]

Don't tell anybody this. But one time I knocked the 'cherry' off my cigarette and it fell into an opening in my steering column! I was sure my car was going to burn up, I could just picture all the wires in there melting together. So I poured water into the opening. Not a good idea. Duh. (Yes, I am blonde) From then on that car made some strange popping/sizzling kind of noises. Traded it in.

 

[Nicfits]

Oh my god, I used to do that all the time.

That, or I'd wake up in the morning and accidentally grab my "lucky" cigarette, stick it in my mouth backwards, and light the filter. Gag.

Great idea for a thread!

I have done that with my E-Cig (510). LOL,
At least I didn't burn my tongue, with that red LED.

 

[Idahojo]

The worst analog experience I had was while driving. I normally crack the window slightly to let the smoke out, and have enough room to flick the ash. One day I was driving and flicked the ash a little to hard and didn't realize it. The red hot ash had broken off and flew back into the window. I was leaning slightly forward and the hot ash had lodged itself between my shoulder and the car seat. When I looked at the tip of my analog, I thought I had flicked the ash out the window. Well.... that thought was dispelled about 30 seconds later when I felt the ash burn through my shirt into the skin on my back....OUCH!! Of course... I'm driving in rush hour ... in the middle lane... and nowhere to turn off quickly. That just plain sucked....burnt seat... hole in shirt.. burned skin.... and a whole lotta curse words about smoking!

We've all been there. I don't know how many times I was aiming for the ashtray in my car and hit a bump and burn the dash or knock the cherry off on the floor. No way to pull over in time so you just rub it out intensly with your foot and instead of having one nice round burn mark, you get a stretched out black burned streak! No I do not miss the analogs. Not to mention stinky car, clothes, etc.

 

[Figurehead]

I took to the MYO because Camel had a habit of producing the most wrong and foulest packs every once in a while. At $4+ a packet (this was pre-the-insane-tax-increase) who can afford to toss out the stinky pack?

Does anyone know the origin of the random nasty pack? Did they stuff a dead rat into one of their machines?

Love the thread BTW

I know it's off the subject, but I used to be a tester for Camel. They would send me plain white packs, I'd smoke them and review them anf fill out their survey. When done they would send me a coupon for a free carton of any Camel product I wanted. When they came out with the Camel "Signature" cigarettes I had the pleasure (or mispleasure) of testing them. One pack was particularly horrible. It was like smoking a tire... no wait, like smoking a tire filled with dog poop. I only got one smoked and had to contact them and ask if it was a "control", a mistake, a joke, or a real product. They assured me that it was in fact real and that I needed to smoke the entire pack before reviewing it. I told them that I couldn't. I reviewed the other 3 packs of the different flavors and left the burning tire/dog poop part blank. I still got the coupon because it turned out over 83% of other testers felt the same way, but it was the last time they had me test for them.

 

[Nicfits]

I know it's off the subject, but I used to be a tester for Camel. They would send me plain white packs, I'd smoke them and review them anf fill out their survey. When done they would send me a coupon for a free carton of any Camel product I wanted. When they came out with the Camel "Signature" cigarettes I had the pleasure (or mispleasure) of testing them. One pack was particularly horrible. It was like smoking a tire... no wait, like smoking a tire filled with dog poop. I only got one smoked and had to contact them and ask if it was a "control", a mistake, a joke, or a real product. They assured me that it was in fact real and that I needed to smoke the entire pack before reviewing it. I told them that I couldn't. I reviewed the other 3 packs of the different flavors and left the burning tire/dog poop part blank. I still got the coupon because it turned out over 83% of other testers felt the same way, but it was the last time they had me test for them.

LOL, Hey Figurehead, It wasn't by any chance made with that Cow Dung vanilla I have heard about was it?

 

[iorg]

My favorite thing to get rid of is that horrible stench....I was always embarrassed when going on dates, going to job interviews, or really meeting anyone new that didnt smoke and didnt know that I smoked and knowing they are judging me for the smell..... Now that I am vaping I dont have to change clothes, spray cologne and use mouthwash multiple times a day just to hide the rancid smell of a smoker....

 

[Kate51]

I really miss burning things, like my Mom's antique table, my best sweater, and getting yellow stuff all over the computer screen, and everything else. Ash tray running over. Black stripes on the floor, I thought I had a cigarette here somewhere........burned my dog's back once, yikes.
Those were the good old days.

 

[Jules22871]

I use crutches to walk. The thing I hated and griped about the most was trying to walk and have the cig in mouth since my hands were busy with the crutches. Of course I'd always get smoke in my eyes. Smoke in the eyes + crutches = a fall just waiting to happen.

 

[Richie G]

I really miss burning things, like my Mom's antique table, my best sweater, and getting yellow stuff all over the computer screen, and everything else..

>

I remember finishing an analog while driving and tossing it out the crack in the window. Apparently, this particular analog had an attachment to me or the rest of his pack siblings. I watched the .... drop down about 8 inches on the outside of the window only to see it rise up again and shoot back through the window and into the car's backseat.

I became a hand/arm outside the window, roof of the car, flicker after that episode.

I'm wondering how many of the ladies have stories to tell about ruining a new dress or something with one of those 3/8" analog signature burn holes. You know, those memorable moments that bring out the four lettered words from even the purest of Puritans. It starts out with; "Ouch!" and then is invariably followed by; "YOU MOTHE....". <g>

 

[Annastasia]

Ha, you want to hear about ruining clothes? I burned a hole in my wedding veil the day I got married. The wind caught me wrong and whipped it into my face while I was out front smoking nervously.

Horrible part is, it happened in front of my mother, and the veil was from her wedding 25 years ago. I still doubt she's forgiven me.

 

[WendyM]

Horrible part is, it happened in front of my mother, and the veil was from her wedding 25 years ago. I still doubt she's forgiven me.

Oh Annastasia, that's awful.

PM me about the veil if you still have it, I might be able to repair it for you (I'm just south of you by 40 minutes) then you would be able to wear it at your anniversary party.