Greetings. I have spent a few hours browsing through the forum figured I would register. Day one vaping and super depressed/spacy (long)

[VapingRulz]

I have quit smoking a few times and while the physical stuff sucks- its mostly the overwhelming depression and apathy that gets me. Its what makes me afraid to quit....I hated smoking. The smell, the way it made me feel, but most of all how I was a slave to it.

I hear ya - and I remember it well.

Even other smokers I knew didn't get it. They could just go without or didn't understand why I just couldn't quit. I tried to explain to no avail that while I can do the 3 days of physical withdrawals without much issue it was the mental stuff that got me.

Smokers who couldn't understand why you couldn't just quit? Seriously? They are weirdos.

I was also a slave in the sense that I couldn't go anywhere or do anything that would not allow me to smoke when I needed to. Knowing that I couldn't smoke for a period of time made the cravings 10x worse. I had a hard time keeping a job because I would get so agitated and time seemed to drag on that I would eventually quit out of misery. I have gotten up and snuck out of a class in order to smoke (one of those long multiple hour ones). I would sneak out of a 5 hour lab period in order to smoke under the guise of using the bathroom.

This was me for 37+ years. I suspect many of us here can relate to this. You will probably find that once you have the right e-cig and e-juice, you will lose a lot of your anxieties about it all. It's easy to slip off to the bathroom for a quick vape and because you won't stink, nobody will be the wiser. And seriously, who schedules a five-hour lab without a break period? Are they sadists?!

I hear a lot of good things about the Pay-It-Forward section and I've tried to find it with no luck. Wherever it is, it's well hidden. I have quite a variety of old 36mg juices that I'm never going to use because I've settled on just a couple of 36mg flavors that I like for those tough times. I did start at 36mg and it sounds like that's what you need to do, too. You also need a better e-cig. Almost anything would be better than what you've got now. If you can't afford anything now because you're a starving student, let the PIF moderators know. It may be that someone has an extra e-cig model that they no longer use because they've upgraded.

Edit to ask: Can someone please post a link for the PIF section - not the moderator of PIF but the part where you offer up your unwanted goodies? Thank you!

 

[Stosh]

PIF can be found here: Pay It Forward - PIF

@OP Cheap mod that can use wally-world batteries : http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/battery-mods/106016-how-build-puck.html

MadVapes has some of the least expensive juice around : $11 for 50mL https://www.madvapes.com/China-E-Liquids_c_181.html,
the flavors may not be gormet, but the nic is the same.

Smoking camel unfiltered in college, wow I just had a flashback..... you can beat it!!

 

[ShoeQueen]

I wish I had some 36mg liquid that I could send to you, because I live next door to a fedex guy and would have him get it you immediately! Alas, I have only 18mg.
The PIF is where you need to go. Those folks are some of the kindest and most generous folks I've ever meet. I have no doubt that they will be able to help.

 

[jimbalny]

Dammit! I just wrote this huge post about addiction that i thought could help and it got deleted >

Pretty much what i was saying is in my experience sitting around is the worst u can do. Ya gotta get ur mind off it - go for a walk, something! Trust me, once u make the switch u wony even wanna smoke cigs anymore - they nasty!

I definitely have felt ur pain before, having had come off pain meds multiple times having never completely "quit" (buprenorphine maintenance - harm reduction) - worst withdrawals everr. But anythings possible! The mind is way more powerful than we give it credit for.

If u post or pm ur email i can gift ya some money in pp if it would help - then u can pick up a cheap kit of liberty flights or something. Get a Riva as well as a 510 drip tip (u might not like the taste of cartridges) and as always any questions we is here for jah!

Sent from my EVO4G using Tapatalk

 

[Katmandu]

Novice,

I'm sorry you're going through this. I am going to suggest that you visit a site QuitSmokingMessageBoard.com • View forum - Quit Smoking Main Board

They are a quit smoking site and I think they will be very supportive for you cause it sounds like right now you're going cold turkey and that's a method they know a lot about.

Jump on over there when you get a chance - I'll meet ya and say hi!

You may just find with their support that you'll continue your quit cold and not want to get into an ecig at all. Or you may find that come September when you have money again that you can supplement your quit with some other NRT method to keep you going. Ecigs aren't the only answer.

I wish you the best of luck with your finals and not smoking.

 

[jimbalny]

I have a more than half full pack of patches (step 1 I think) I got free from ny state if ya want also

Sent from my EVO4G using Tapatalk

 

[DM]

Wow!! ""novicecrafter"" Just look at all of the support. You are in the right place and doing the right thing.
Just keep in mind that you are doing your self and loved ones a huge favor. Wish the best for you

 

[jj2]

Hello everyone.

I am normally much more cheerful but as Im sure you understand things are not exactly "normal" at the moment. I am at 24 hours of only vaping. I have quit smoking a few times and while the physical stuff sucks- its mostly the overwhelming depression and apathy that gets me. Its what makes me afraid to quit.

A little background (as clear as my space cadet mind can handle at the moment)

I didnt want to quit this time. No let me rephrase.. the timing was not of my choosing and that sucks the worst. I have to be in a certain state of mind to tackle the nicodemon and this was not it.

I am a full time student and basically ran out of money a week before finals. The most stressful time of all. I am *ok* otherwise (food/shelter etc) but my non smoking friends/family are not to keen on supporting my 7.84$ a day habit (and I couldn't bring myself to ask).

I am turning 27 in a few days and have been smoking off/on (mostly on) since I was 20. I was instantly addicted and soon leveled out at a pack a day. I got hooked on non filtered camels and could never go back to smoking filtered after that. They made me downright sick!! Of course not only are non filters stronger but they are also supppper expensive.

I am one of those people that smoking evened me out. it leveled my mood and balanced whatever imbalance I had. I was no where near some of the stories I have read on here (wow what courage I respect you a great deal!!) but smoking made me much more able to handle life. I had a lot of challenges to overcome and smoking allowed me to have a dull cynicism towards it all. I could sit outside and just smoke a cigarette and have a "stone face" about it all.

I hated smoking. The smell, the way it made me feel, but most of all how I was a slave to it. All my money went to smokes and when I run out I would get into tons of debt with my friends (my previous roommates etc) and even get overdrawn to pay for them. Basically paying a 35$ fee for a pack of smokes! I feel more like an addict to "harder" drugs than just smokes. Even other smokers I knew didn't get it. They could just go without or didn't understand why I just couldn't quit. I tried to explain to no avail that while I can do the 3 days of physical withdrawals without much issue it was the mental stuff that got me.

I was also a slave in the sense that I couldn't go anywhere or do anything that would not allow me to smoke when I needed to. Knowing that I couldn't smoke for a period of time made the cravings 10x worse. I had a hard time keeping a job because I would get so agitated and time seemed to drag on that I would eventually quit out of misery. I have gotten up and snuck out of a class in order to smoke (one of those long multiple hour ones). I would sneak out of a 5 hour lab period in order to smoke under the guise of using the bathroom. I have had to hide/sneak/even raid my previous roommates change jar for smokes.

This time around my boyfriend bought me one of those ecigs from 7/11. He has always been patient and supportive of me (thankfully). But its hard when its someone who not only doesn't understand my struggle with it but who has himself quit years ago and very easily.

So right now I am depressed. I have wasted a day staring at a computer screen entirely unmotivated to do a darn thing. Finals start on monday, approx 3 days from now and I cant bring myself to study or even care. I have eaten FAR too much and even drank some really really horrible table wine (that I use to cook with).

I have vaped before- but unsuccessfully as I soon realized that they do not satisfy. I would use them to sneak a puff in the bathroom during lab (way easier then disappearing for 20 min) but thats it. I lost that one ages ago.

This time around I have no choice but to stick with vaps. I dont get money again till September. Please tell me that I will start feeling better and hopefully have a shot at not going back to analogs if I stick with only vaping till then. ugh.

Try here--- there may be help!!!

http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/fo...rgency-needs-read-rules-pm-pif-moderator.html

 

[novicecrafter]

Goodness thank you all so very much for the help/info/support. Sorry its been awhile but I had to go into finals lockdown mode (no forums/tv/etc). Im back now and ended up ordering some 36mg juice. Its such a huge difference!!! The spaciness and extreme quick temper has also gone.

Still have my 7-11 model ecig but I am using this to help me quit. I don't want to commit to a lifestyle change by replacing analogs with ecigs as much as I want to be free of nicotine entirely. So I guess this is baby steps- get off all the chemicals from analogs (many of which are addictive). Then break the associations (walking to store, after meals). Then hopefully by then I can go cold turkey on the nicotine.

I will keep the pif forum in mind but at the moment I am *ok*. I will ask for help if I need it, but I also will do all that I can on my own first type of thing.

 

[Dwindacatcher]

I don't know if anyone brought this up, but you sound like a cabotage for bipolar disorder from your initial post. I'd suggest seeing your doctor about that. I know a few people with the disorder that smoke to 'even them out' when there meds just don't seem to cut it.

 

[novicecrafter]

I was in therapy throughout my childhood/teen years. The general consensus is borderline personality disorder which is sometimes mistaken for bipolar disorder. The issue is mild enough that medication was not worth the side effects. I want to learn how to live with myself without the need of substances. I have done it in the past so it should be possible.

*plus I am not covered under insurance like I was as a kid. Really, experimenting with different therapies will need to wait until after I graduate and get a job.

 

[BiffRocko]

One thing I didn't see pointed out yet is that smoking is VERY hard to quit. I've come across more than a few former addicts in my time and several of them have told me that quitting smoking was much harder than quitting hard drugs. And I'm talking HARD drugs. (ECF's filter won't let me post their names).

Don't beat yourself up about it. And don't be discouraged that people you know had an easier time quitting than you are having. Everyone is different. This is your journey, not theirs. You'll do it your way, and on your timeline.

 

[novicecrafter]

One concern I have is that there is so much negative feedback on the 36mg stuff. I started out with 16 and 22 mg and I was in withdrawl all day. 36mg seems to be ok. I dont sit and vap non stop and when I smoked analogs they were non filtered so I smoked them differently. Hard to explain but it reminds me of when I played a clarinet as a kid. You breath differently- you kind of keep the breath in the back of your throat and not in your lungs. For instruments this means the reserve you use to play notes until the next breath. For smoking I dunno.. but maybe thats why I am not getting sick from the super high dosage? When people look at me funny for buying the old school camels (27 year old female) I sometimes explain why (higher grade of tobacco). I say I know they will kill me just the same but I always assumed it would be throat cancer instead of lung because of how I breathed. I never coughed and had smoked a pack a day for almost 7 years.

So is it really unheard of to be ok with 36mg?

 

[Vape Ape]

36 is the only thing that mellows me when I get "cranky". Good to keep a small supply around.

 

[JC Okie]

It's okay to vape 36mg....totally okay. It's whatever works for you. You might (just might) want to vape 36 when you need it, and some 24 or 18 when you just feel like you'd like a smoke but aren't dying for one. I use 24 sometimes in the morning, then level off to 18 during the day, and sometimes 12-15 around bedtime. (I found high, high nic kept me up half the night if I did it all evening.) But 36 is NOT incredibly high...there are quite a few vapers who use it. Who is saying it's way too high? Another vaper? If it's not someone who vapes, what do they know? Anyway, it's very individual and you need to do what you need to do.

Jan

 

[Stosh]

I started on 24mg, e-cig stuck in my face if my eyes were open, (or I had to bury a dead body outside), went up to 30mg and cut back to one dead body, then up to 36mg and I could function normally. That was near a year ago, and I have since cut back to 24mg usually and I can even put my PV down for hours at a time. Use what you need to lose the cigs, and cut back when you're ready, there's no rush, by that time you won't be a smoker any longer.