Heterosexual Questionaire

[DCrist721]

Here are some questions that homosexuals are often asked, but flipped around for heterosexuals to answer. These questioned aren't just the same question with the word "heterosexual" replacing "homosexual," many of them have been re-written to be applicable to heterosexuals. You don't have to actually answer them in your post, but hopefully reading them and thinking about each questions will make some of you realize somethings.

Heterosexual Questionaire

1· What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?

7. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?

8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are so many mental patients heterosexual?

9. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?

11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality! Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?

15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing!

16. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

17. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

18. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation?

19 There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to. Have you considered aversion therapy?

20. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?

 

[georgini]

i know we all have fun here, etc. but is this really the right place for this?

 

[nicowolf]

Food for thought. Thanks, DCrist

 

[DCrist721]

i know we all have fun here, etc. but is this really the right place for this?

Yes it is. This is the "general discussion" forum. I see you are a fairly new member like myself, did you maybe get confused think you were in the "general e-cig discussion" forum? I know it can be a little hard at first remembering all the different sub-forums, but you'll get there someday champ

 

[Elle]

very interesting!

 

[chicagobrad01]

Great post DCrist.....love the flip side perspective!

 

[MisterPuck]

Heterosexual Questionaire

1· What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
I found that my lack of desire for sexual activities with the same gender played a strong role, that and bubble gum.

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
3pm July 17th 1983.

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
everything is possible, not probable.

4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
This is highly likely, while I'm ok with others of the same gender, quite honestly the scrotum scares me.

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?
Possibly, soon as Sean Connery comes out, call me.

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?
No, I just found I was more skilled in cross-gender relationships.

7. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?
I've never drank acid either, still pretty sure I'm not into that.

8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are so many mental patients heterosexual?
Normal is defined numerically by the status quo, ergo as every human is different from each other only one person can be normal as everyone else would vary from the base defined normal person. With this noted I argue that your question is faulty as there is mathmatically more non-normal people outside of institutions than inside.

9. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
My wife and my children know, I keep it to myself otherwise.

10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?
I feel exposure to hetrosexuality may, in the future, make it easier for non-hetrosexuals to accept what many consider a deviant lifestyle. Don't judge me.

11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?
I wish only for my lifestyle to ifect their decisions more than television's.

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
Not in the least. I find it unsafe to let your children do anything. Most of all attend public schools.

13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality! Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
see answer #10

14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?
Define whole person.

15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing!
I feel the narrow restrictive stereotype to be much more comfortable sexual situation. not eveyone looks good in rubber.

16. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
hetrosexuality is primarily a sexual topic, hence the use of "sexuality" in the term.

17. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
Marriage, like most things has been affected by the nano-second mindscape of a younger genertion insistant on instant gratification and thus no longer hold any special significance to the vast majority of those allowed to hve and squander it.

18. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation?
In very small, tightly-craamped living tubes.

19 There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to. Have you considered aversion therapy?
Yes.

20. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
again, I mainly think it's the scotum.


Hope I was of some help.

 

[tribalmasters]

Coor its like an e-cig gaybar here in General discussion ! Heterosexuals are improperly programmed, the fear lies in the fact that if they get to close they may turn gay! They also think all gays are like they are on the TV - as camp as a row of tents! Also they like to think gays do all kinds of buggery up the bum but I bet half of gays do not do .... I know I don't!! Heterosexual is normal and very, very boring!

 

[surbitonPete]

Mister Puck......it was fun reading your answers

 

[nicowolf]

ROTFLMGAO @ Mister Puck.

 

[eLiciafay]

This questionnaire reminded me of this video: youtube.com /watch?v=JQ1I_-MY_NY

It's one of my favorite videos on YouTube! (remove the spaces because I'm not "allowed" to post URL's yet.

 

[Kate]

I think this is the vid you mean:

YouTube - Are you STRAIGHT?!

 

[Spikey]

Hey DCrist.. do you mind if I use this in my class? I usually just ask the students if they think their heterosexuality could be "cured" or "fixed" and if they though I could make them gay with a little bit of therapy and that seems to have the same effect... but handing this out in class would be more fun. I have used that youtube video also but I think the questions serve to drive the point home better.

One day after I asked the class if they thought I could "turn them gay" with therapy a student came up after class (female) and said... if I was the therapist... I could probably convert her.. but I think she was just looking for an A in the class lol!

 

[DCrist721]

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?
Possibly, soon as Sean Connery comes out, call me.

Hahaha, you and me both.

Also they like to think gays do all kinds of buggery up the bum but I bet half of gays do not do .... I know I don't!!!

Me neither. I like guys and girls, but that just seems really painful, and and wouldn't subject a man or a women to that or allow someone to do that to me. Well, maybe if I get married to a woman and she has a few babies and turns into a loosey goosey, but they have vaginal laser reconstructive surgery for that. They can give a 50 year old woman the tightness of a virgin. That's why Madonna still sings the song "Like a Virgin."

Hey DCrist.. do you mind if I use this in my class? I usually just ask the students if they think their heterosexuality could be "cured" or "fixed" and if they though I could make them gay with a little bit of therapy and that seems to have the same effect... but handing this out in class would be more fun. I have used that youtube video also but I think the questions serve to drive the point home better.

One day after I asked the class if they thought I could "turn them gay" with therapy a student came up after class (female) and said... if I was the therapist... I could probably convert her.. but I think she was just looking for an A in the class lol!

Yeah, use it, I didn't come up with this. I actually first learned of it it my Human Sexuality class. It was created by Dr. Martin Rochlin. Here's a whole lesson plan for it: http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/lessonplans/heterosexual.htm

 

[Spikey]

Hahaha, you and me both.



Yeah, use it, I didn't come up with this. I actually first learned of it it my Human Sexuality class. It was created by Dr. Martin Rochlin. Here's a whole lesson plan for it: Heterosexual Questionnaire - Lesson Plan

Thanks for lettin me know where it came from... I wouldn't use it without permission. I will write to him and ask first. Thanks

 

[DCrist721]

Thanks for lettin me know where it came from... I wouldn't use it without permission. I will write to him and ask first. Thanks

Good luck with that. The guy is dead.

I'm fairly sure the purpose of it being written was for sexual education classes. I've seen it in at least one textbook.

 

[Spikey]

Good luck with that. The guy is dead.

Bummer for him.. I guess I will just have to write the website and ask permission to use it.. or I can just write my own questions.

 

[DCrist721]

Bummer for him.. I guess I will just have to write the website and ask permission to use it.. or I can just write my own questions.

It doesn't belong to them. It's on tons of websites. But the whole purpose of their website is to give teachers lesson plans. You only need to ask permission about reprinting something. As in putting it in a textbook that you would make money from, not photocopying it for non-profit educational purposes. You're also not supposed to play movies for groups, but because it's for educational purposes and teachers aren't charging admission at the door they can do it.

 

[ritalee76]

Heterosexual Questionaire

1· What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

I'm really not sure. Maybe its because my mother loved me too much.

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

Hmm... Can't quite pin the date down but I'm pretty sure Jon Bon Jovi had something to do with it.

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

It is possible. I tried to grow out of it a couple of times. It just didn't work out though.

4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

Lets not talk about my mother please.

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?

That might help. The problem is that they all look like they don't have a penis.

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?

No. I usually turn to alcohol to cope with my fear of rejection.

7. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?

Sleeping is relative. I have tried it. Apparently the "lets 68 and I'll owe you one" doesn't go over quite as well with the same sex.

8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are so many mental patients heterosexual?

The voices say that nothing is normal.

9. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

Pretty much only my closest friends really know my sexual orientation. Most people assume that I am homosexual. I'm not sure why.

10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?

Because.

11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?

I want them to be happy. I don't care who they decide to have sex with.

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

Depends on if its a good teacher or not.

13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality! Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

Actually, I'm private about my sexuality. I very rarely hump my boyfriend in public. If and when I do, there is alcohol involved and I'm just as likely to hump my friend Margie.


14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?

I have explored my god-given homosexual potential. Call me a regular old spelunker
However, I've found that I'm not a cave-dweller...

15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing!

Who says role-playing is unhealthy? Does it cause cancer?

16. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

Because.

17. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

Relationships usually turn boring and old after a while.
So there!

18. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation?

It will survive. Only the fittest will, however. I better start working out.


19 There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to. Have you considered aversion therapy?

Yes. But we got a divorce.

20. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?

No. I hate and distrust the opposite sex too.

 

[gep]

Boy, this will put things in perspective for alot of people.

I've never understood bias in any form or against any persons. I'm currenty taking a course in the Philosophy of Religion and may use this as an example in our future discussionsof "good vs. evil" because so many of the more conservative class members seem to like to bring up "lifestyles" as an example of evil. I love playing "Duck Hunt" with their arguments: "Another one bites the dust."

Thanks for the thoughtful (and entertaining) posts, all!

Edit: Now let's try this same questionaire and replace the word heterosexual with human being.....hmmmm.