I'm amazed and amused ...

[rico942]

Now I have no intention of poking fun or being mean, and I'm always impressed by people who speak more than one language. My own weak attempts at Spanish probably sound pretty funny in Mexico ...

But I occasionally do proofreading for business websites and official correspondence, and tend to notice typos and questionable grammer and syntax ...

So I'm Googling for a source for a replacement battery for an Ovale Elips, and find a Chinese website offering the unit in bulk. I swear I have not edited one word, just copied and pasted some of the more humorous segments describing the product ...

I surely hope that no one takes this seriously, especially the "Locations" list ...

("oil spill" made me scratch my head, but the reference to "smoke bombs" finally made me snort coffee on my keyboard) ...

360mah 820puffs Ovale Elips E-Cigarette No Oil Spill , Big Smoke


Quick Detail:

Model number:2013 E-lips 007

Length: 102 mmWeight for single ovale elips: 22 gThe capacity of ovale elips cartridge: 1.5g​

Description:

No harmful tobacco, good for environment
With ergonomic design, we get more visual senses
Using of gas sensing switch control (the product of sensitivity, greater stability)
The adoption of a new intake stealth design (the product of more smooth appearance)
Smoke bombs use interface thread seal (no oil spill)
No tar, no risk of fire, no yellow teeth


Applications:

1. USER
A. Who Smoking a lot of cigarettes
B. Who working in the space where is smoking bans.
C. Who willing to stop smoking.
2. Location
A. Railway station, Theatre, Hospital, Library or the nonsmoking place.
B. Petrol stations, Gas stations, Forest or the non-fire place.

Here's the link to the site, I'm certain there's more amazing descriptions there, sure to bring a smile ...

360mah 820puffs Ovale Elips E-Cigarette No Oil Spill , Big Smoke

 

[Chimney34]

Sorry in advance as OP stated (if anyone is offended) but this is wayyyy toooooo funny
Now I have to click on the link...just can't resist!!

 

[Anthal69]

Now I have no intention of poking fun or being mean, and I'm always impressed by people who speak more than one language. My own weak attempts at Spanish probably sound pretty funny in Mexico ...

But I occasionally do proofreading for business websites and official correspondence, and tend to notice typos and questionable grammer and syntax ...

So I'm Googling for a source for a replacement battery for an Ovale Elips, and find a Chinese website offering the unit in bulk. I swear I have not edited one word, just copied and pasted some of the more humorous segments describing the product ...

I surely hope that no one takes this seriously, especially the "Locations" list ...

("oil spill" made me scratch my head, but the reference to "smoke bombs" finally made me snort coffee on my keyboard) ...



Here's the link to the site, I'm certain there's more amazing descriptions there, sure to bring a smile ...

360mah 820puffs Ovale Elips E-Cigarette No Oil Spill , Big Smoke

Relevant translation at its best!! Soon, China....soon. Engrish lost this one.


Share the cloud!!

 

[Rickajho]

Yeah. Businesses relying on Google translate - really bad idea.

 

[Rickajho]

Now I have no intention of poking fun or being mean, and I'm always impressed by people who speak more than one language. My own weak attempts at Spanish probably sound pretty funny in Mexico ...

But I occasionally do proofreading for business websites and official correspondence, and tend to notice typos and questionable grammer and syntax ...

So I'm Googling for a source for a replacement battery for an Ovale Elips, and find a Chinese website offering the unit in bulk. I swear I have not edited one word, just copied and pasted some of the more humorous segments describing the product ...

I surely hope that no one takes this seriously, especially the "Locations" list ...

("oil spill" made me scratch my head, but the reference to "smoke bombs" finally made me snort coffee on my keyboard) ... ops

Why? They made it perfectly clear that "oil spill" and "smoke bombs" are "good for environment".

 

[rico942]

Sorry in advance as OP stated (if anyone is offended) but this is wayyyy toooooo funny
Now I have to click on the link...just can't resist!!

Hey Chimney, I'm especially pleased that you got a good chuckle out of this !

I remember you as one of the most helpful and encouraging posters here on ECF, with always a kind word and sound advice ...

If you find some more astounding "facts" about PVs on that site, please share, a good hearty belly laugh is hard to come by these days ...

Rico

 

[Anthal69]

You know, this type of obvious inept translation makes me glad that I buy my eliquid from a buddy that lives 5 miles away. I know they're trying and I applaud that(I could never even learn mandarin), but if I read a description of my RY4 that said it wouldn't cause an oil spill......I may just pick up an analog.


Share the cloud!!

 

[Orobas]

Much vapor. Very stealth. Such healthkeeping. Wow.

 

[Chimney34]

Hey Chimney, I'm especially pleased that you got a good chuckle out of this !

I remember you as one of the most helpful and encouraging posters here on ECF, with always a kind word and sound advice ...

If you find some more astounding "facts" about PVs on that site, please share, a good hearty belly laugh is hard to come by these days ...

Rico

Hey sweetie! I remember you as well! Glad to see you're still around! After the day I've had I needed that laugh!

Oil spills! Smoke bombs! Gas sensing switch control!! I'm scared to put my lips on one of those 'Elips' hehehe
Thank you my friend! You have no idea how much I needed that chuckle!
I will most certainly let you know if I stumble on anything that tops this one

 

[Chimney34]

Not as good as yours my friend but I found 1 part of this charger description very ummmm...interesting


Black Wall / Car Electronic Cigarette Chargers Cable USB With CE ROHS


Quick Detail:

Cable USB Charger for Electronic Cigarettes
Can match USB charger to charge all kinds of e cigarettes
Certificates: CE, RoHS
OEM and ODM orders are welcomed


Description:

Electronic cigarette charger, you need the USB cable first
Electronic cigarette with battery pole connection and then head into the computer or a USB adapter, access adapter, directly into the wall plug charger
Full charge, the light turned from red to green
It is suggested to inhale after the battery is fully charged
It is recommended to store the battery in a cool and dry environment, handle the battery with great care, never drop or throw the battery against a hard surface
It is very important to keep the battery away from direct heat and sharp objects

The bold sections are the best I could find but the part about inhaling is so baffling to me

 

[serenity21899]

FastTech is pretty amusing, too. Healthkeeping sets....Tar....Extra large capacity makes you enjoy E-cigarette for a long time

 

[rico942]

never drop or throw the battery against a hard surface

I have done this. Shame on me ...

 

[Chimney34]

I have done this. Shame on me ...

As long as you don't 'head into your computer' you should be fine

Oh...was it charged then you did it? Hope you didn't forget to inhale

Oh gosh! I'm laughing wayyyy too much! I think these meds are finally taking over again! Hehehe!

 

[rico942]

You know, this type of obvious inept translation makes me glad that I buy my eliquid from a buddy that lives 5 miles away.

Yes, by all means avoid this juice. It will improve your health, but unfortunately also makes you a dull and uninteresting person as a side effect. Local juices are the way to go ...

Colorless Health E-Cigarette Juice 100ml For E-cigarette Smoking Colorless Health E-Cigarette Juice 100ml For E-cigarette Smoking Quick Detail: E cigarette liquid with 5/10/20/30/50/100ml bottle with fruit flavor 1.Competitive price 2.Fast delivery

 

[rico942]

It is suggested to inhale after the battery is fully charged

No way I can hold my breath that long ...

 

[RosaJ]

OMG, I'm still laughing after reading all the posts. Thank you Rico, I really needed this right before going to bed.

Loff you long tine man, hah!

 

[Rickajho]

A long time ago, eons before Google even existed, I had a "thing" that came with an instruction manual. Said instruction manual was leading me down the path of "The way of connection" to "Insertion of the golden finger"...

Anyone care to hazard a guess as to what my thing was that required "insertion of the golden finger"? (And you better keep in clean kids.)

 

[The Ocelot]

Sigelei's pretty clear with their instructions for the ZMax.

Had better not put Zmax in your pocket. A hanger is recommended.

Do not drop Zmax

ZMAX V5 Black_ZMAX V5_SIGELEI Electronic Cigarette -

 

[MamaTried]

i'm glad they are improving

http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/fasttech/424721-funniest-fasttech-description.html

 

[Jenn Perry]

That is great LOLOL