Insurance question

[Key]

Hi,

I'm new. I live in Canada. I've been reading in the women's room and I like it here.

I have a question to throw out there.

I have a 2 year old daughter. She likes to pull off her pull-ups at night and pees on the bed. A few weeks ago she peed on her pillow. I threw the pillow in my small washer and water flooded out of it while I was busy with her because she'd woken up grumpy and whinning.

The water flooded into the condo beneath me. The neighbour underneath me came up and let me know that water was leaking into her place. I had an industrial fan going and was sucking up the water with a carpet cleaner leant by the building. The building management had to call the filre alarm company in at time and a half because it was a Sunday. And then the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night so everyone in the building was out on the street, older people, a couple with a baby, people with there pets, I felt miserable.

The superintendent tells me that I can pay for the work that needs to be done to the woman's condo below me. She is trying to keep the costs low.

I called my insurance company on the advice of a friend today. The broker told me that my neighbour should claim liability and then I wouldn't have a deductible to pay unless I had work done on the floor in my laundry room, which was already in bad shape. She mentionned that an adjuster would come out and determine if it was insurable.

I feel like I'm at fault and that I wouldn't be covered anyway.

Does anyone know?

Tonight she jumped into my bed and decided to have a pee on it. I don't have a cover on it and it was an expensive mattress. I was so frustrated, I started to cry (I've only broken down in front of her twice) and then she started to cry too. I feel terrible about the flood of water and tears.

 

[Mary Kay]

Key, Welcome to the Women's Room, nice to meet you! Also welcome to ECF!

I don't know a thing about insurance except it's frustrating. I do remember from one time when we had a storm and a pine fell on the neighbor's fence and the roof of her shed that there was a good neighbor clause. It's there even when something is not "really" covered to save you from a huge court fight with a neighbor. (It saves the Insurance company money from being dragged into the fight as well!) Talk to your insurance people about it.
About your daughter. Forget pull ups. Put her back in diapers and tell her point blank, she is a big girl who needs to make big girl choices..to pee where she is suposed to or wear baby girl diapers. Show her the pretty panties you bought her for when she decides to be a big girl. Do not back down! Do not let the tears and tantrums get you..hold your ground even if you have to follow her around.. You will thank me when the fight is about a boy you hate!
Girls have heads like rock. They will or they won't and no power this side of Heaven can "Make" them do anything. Asking and giving them 2 choices is the only way to reason with them from 2 to 18! Boy's will up and decide one day that the potty is more fun..that's it. It took me a year to get my daughter trained..it took one day to get my son trained..the lure of tighty whities was too great. Same with both grandson's.
Also check and make sure she is being stuborn and not because she has a weak bladder muscle or no "signal" when she has to go. That's the problem with some children..they just can't tell when it's time. A pediatrician can help with that.

 

[Moonflame]

My daughter was stubborn about potty training too. She was 4 before I had her out of pull ups and we had to go back to diapers a number of times. The only reason I think she finally decided to use the bathroom was because I told her I was going to call the school and tell them she would have to wait another year to start kindergarten. My son went from diapers to underwear in one day.

I don't know anything about the insurance, but I feel your pain with the potty training...I was ready to turn in my Mom Card and run away from home a couple of times.

 

[Key]

Hi MaryKay and Moonflame,

Thanks so much for your replies . I think she's being stubborn. I used a very firm tone last night and said no more ...... exept in the potty and the pull ups stay on. She did keep them on, but I will need to keep reminding her. I was using diapers and then switched to pull ups to see if she wouldn't take them off, for a while she didn't, but then she started taking them off too.

She's been training at daycare for four months and mostly doing well. Sh

I'm getting better at being firm, I had no discipline growing up so I'm not used to it, but I'm getting there. She's smart, but she's still got 2 year old behavior, she'll be 3 in Nov.

I can use all the parenting help I can get. Much appreciated!!

 

[Moonflame]

I remember the year my son was 2 1/2 (he'll be 18 in Nov.) we were having a party for my birthday. I put him down for his nap and took my shower and was putting on make-up to get ready for guests to get there in about 30 mins. I heard him moving around and went to check on him and he had taken off his diaper and spread poo over his entire body, in his hair, as high as he could reach on his door and the wall, over the carpet and on a bunch of his toys. I have no idea how it covered as large an area as it did. I managed to get him clean and the walls and carpet, retook my shower, and threw all of the toys in the tub and shut the curtain. The first thing hubby heard when he came home was "You get to clean up the rest of the poo!!! I'm done!" Of course then I had to explain why I was having a nervous breakdown, when I had been perfectly calm an hour earlier when he called before he left work. They always pick the worst possible times to pull a stunt like that .

 

[Key]

OMG!! I'm sorry that happened to you. Have you told your son about it?

I find it tough when she laughs after doing something bad.

 

[Stephaniems]

Do you have one of those toilet insert potty seats? My daughter was easy to train after I got one, she wanted to do it all herself but she had trouble getting up on and sitting on the toilet by herself.

 

[Key]

Dear Stephaniems,

I do thanks. I think I started too early.

How old is your daughter now?

There are far more cute things than there are accidents:

the way they say spaghetti
imaginary friends
the excitement of going on her first bus ride
dancing
singing bah bah black sheep bavou any whooo and
boom boom pow keep on rockin in the free world

and the best is "mommy, I love you too much in the world"

 

[HazelS]

Hi Key:

I'm new to too, I'm happy to had found a place to talk with people just like me, but now let's go to your question, I had not have a change to go and read all replies but I do work with insurance, recovery, liability etc., First step is as you already did call your insurance company, make sure you take notes, name of the adjuster that will be handling your claim, ask if there will only be one person handling your claim (some companies work with teams instead of only one adj. per case), in case you are not able to contact them who is their supervisor, make sure your ask how they will go about the handling of the claim will they send and appraiser for your damages and one for your neighbor or a contractor, claim number is super important, keep all information together, if the appliance was owned by you make sure that you have handy your guarantee or any other relevant ppwk.

By what you had on your post it seems as if you are liable, but your home owner policy should cover not only you but the damage of your neighbor too.

Make sure you are inquisitive and ask all questions as time that they will take to come and check out damages, will they contact your neighbor, who will take care of the repairs and independent contractor or a provider of your insurance company, if damages are higher than the estimate how will they work out the supplemental payment.

Make sure that you keep in contact with your appraiser and be patient but don’t let them toss you around, there are time limits for everything and you want to know ahead of time.

I hope this help you at least a little bit.

 

[Mary Kay]

Wow Hazel! That was very very good! Welcome to The Women's Room and also to ECF! Please look around and post where you find something interesting! You may have to join our group in order to do many more posts..that's no problem, just click on the link below my sig and click yes you want to join when the new page pops up!

 

[CZEdwards]

Key, I don't know about the insurance (when every US state has different laws, I can't even begin to comment on another country's) but call your agent. Work with them. Breathe. One day at a time. I'm really sorry. That sucks.

As for potty training... I don't think it's a boy-girl thing, and though this may get me thrown out of the behaviorist club, in my experience, parenting style is a factor. The once aspect of a child's life zie can remotely control (unless the parents give her the illusion of control) at that age is elimination. There are lots of variables and lots of factors. I mostly work with teenagers and adults, so I don't get into the intimacies of early childhood, but talk to your pediatrician about it.

In my family and experience, both boys and girls train or do not train so any conversation about one gender being easier is just an example of confirmation bias, but the common factor I've found in my highly anecdotal observations is parenting styles. (I'm not saying one style is more valid than another; they all have their pluses and minuses.)

My sister with the two boys is an authoritarian parent -- everything in her world is "my way or the highway". Yet, she's oddly uninvolved in her children. (She's an odd duck.) My elder nephew was a total piece of work about training, refused to be trained and it was clearly part of the power struggle with my sister; my younger nephew is doing the same. However, my sister also did that to my mother and my mother wasn't terribly authoritarian. (My mother had three girls, two of us trained very easily.)

However, my other sister is a more negotiatory parent -- the girls get choices (red shirt or blue shirt, skirt or pants, chicken or tofu -- but never a choice between not getting dressed and getting dressed or eating and not eating) and is much more tuned to my nieces' emotional lives. My elder niece trained herself -- got up one day at 19 months and called diapers icky. (Considering how feminine pads feel, I can't blame her.) My younger niece will probably follow the same pattern. She's 15 months old, and already very fastidious -- as soon as she wets, she's headed for a clean diaper, she just literally doesn't have the muscle control yet. A friend with a little boy, with a similar parenting style, had a similarly easy training process.

One key aspect my early childhood colleagues keep talking about is that diaper tech has improved to the point where children literally can't feel if a diaper is wet. A wet diaper is uncomfortable and gives a child incentive to not wear them. One that is perceptually dry doesn't trigger that feeling. It may be worth looking into what used to be called training pants. Wet pants are a negative reinforcement and a natural consequence.

 

[Moonflame]

I think part of boys being easier sometimes is that there are fun things to do with boys when training. With my son we tossed a few Cheerios in the potty and had him try to sink them. I tried reading to her while she sat on the potty, but she liked me reading to her so much we ended up staying in there for hours with the only result being my sore back and her with a red toilet imprint on her ..... I tried putting training potties in most of the rooms of the house. It finally took her deciding it was worth her time, she really wanted to be able to go to school . I do think it would have been easier if she'd had to wear the big thick training underwear with plastic cover pants like they had when we were kids. VERY uncomfortable, so kids tried to get out of them as quick as possible. I tried to find some when my daughter was perfectly happy to stay in diapers or pull-ups forever, but couldn't find them anywhere.

 

[Key]

Dear HazelS,

Thank you for all of those tips. I really appreciate it. The building management is having the work done to repair my neighbours unit. It's almost been a month. I really hope not to make a claim. I had washed a pillow before and not had any flooding, I think it was a combination of the water level being a bit high and the type of pillow that I washed.

This is a great forum.

Key