Hi Woody, I use the Smoktech 3.2ohm cartomizers at 7 to 9W and usually the lower end of that 7.5 is where I am. There are factors that will play to this such as the device you are using it on, all devices are not the same in regards to output. The punched cartomizers we sell are the flanged ones so they do not come with the rubber cup piece (condom) you mentioned.
Sounds to me from your description of what you are after in terms of draw and experience you are a lot like myself. The SmokTech cartomizers have a bit of that raspy/smokiness to them which is why I use them. I find a long light draw both gives that kind of hit and is good for keeping synced with the tank. This is the one thing that is so different for everyone because every factor comes into play. You see you have to reach a balance in the liquid being vaporized and the liquid being drawn in but liquid viscosity, power level, cartomizer, holes and vaping style all come into play. Sometimes it takes a little experimentation to find that match.
Yes, the long thin "Refilling Drip Tip" is the tool you read about. There are other tools that some like more for various reasons but this one works good and is only $2.50 which is why we sell so many of them.