Kids say the darndest things thread....

[glowgirl]

So my 5 year old daughter climbed in my lap today and as she snuggled in she looks up at me with the sweetest big blue eyes and says "Mommy, I think you and Daddy are kind of old because when you smile your eyes are all crappily".

So what do the kids in your life say? Channel Bill Crosby and share the fun of a child's brutal honesty!

 

[daisyd]

My 4 yo told a man in the waiting room at the vet "Ronan's getting his balls chopped off!" The look on this guy's face was worth the embarassment.

 

[Devilooman]

When my kids were young my mom and dad took them to a crowded restaurant. One of them YELLED "Someone farted!" really loud while they were in line so my mom told him that we don't say that word that we say "someone passed gas." Later after they were sitting at the table he yelled "Someone is running out of GAS!"

My mom and dad both rofl to this day about that.

 

[topaz_stone71]

We have a house nearby for sale that was part of the Underground Railroad. I am just fascinated by the house and my daughter asked why. I started to talk about the Underground Railroad and how that gives a house bonus points for coolness (not to mention antebellum looks) and she says "Summer break just started and you are tying to teach me Social Studies? Stop Mom!"

 

[suddenly]

My 5 year old granddaughter recently saw the new version of "Alice in Wonderland" at the theater with her parents.

She spent the weekend with me and we saw an ad on TV for the movie and I asked her how she liked it.

She crossed her arms and said "Nana, That movie was not appropriate for little children like me."

I just about bust a gut laughing over that answer from such a little child. You gotta love her

 

[Happy Domino38]

Gotcha all beat..(although, the Romans getting his balls chopped off!!! put me on the FLOOR!!), Payton took a look at my computer screen when we were in the midst of the Angus Thread. I was looking at that picture of the guy in the kilt when she pokes her head around and saw it.

"That's hardly a picture suitable for 6 year old's Mummy.."

And removed HERSELF from the room!!

She's also been known to whisper, "Mummy! That guy said the F WORD!! You know, F-A-R-T!!"

In Scotland, farts are called 'poofs'. Bunch of American Potty Mouths...

 

[Happy Domino38]

AND, (sorry, but I just remembered THIS one), Brian was teasing Payton about dating boys. She said she would be dating at 16. Brian begged to differ. Payton says, "Well, okay Daddy, if you're still ALIVE by then..."



I wanted to slug her, but Brian managed to collect all his strength, (because he was howling laughter), to lift up his cane and stop my 'charge' at the child.

 

[daisyd]

She's also been known to whisper, "Mummy! That guy said the F WORD!! You know, F-A-R-T!!"

In Scotland, farts are called 'poofs'. Bunch of American Potty Mouths...

One of my 4yo's favorite sayings. "Girls don't fart, they floof!"

 

[Mary Kay]

When my oldest grandson was very little his favorite mobie (movie) was 'Star Wars" The three original ones.
He also had a lisp. he always subsituted the letter "B" for "V". as in: It's berry berry hot G'ma!
O.K...now he was sitting on G'pa's lap watching Star wars as usual when he heard the "Darth Vader" Music..Boom Boom da boom...so he turns to G'pa and asked "Where is Master Vader?" You do the letter subsitution.
Mike was laughing so hard he let the baby slide off his lap!

 

[Happy Domino38]

LOVE it MK!!

I used to have Brian's number ring with the Darth Vader theme on my cell phone. Payton and I are out grocery shopping and he calls me so.."dum dum dum da dee dum da dee dum..', right? So, I answer it, assure him we're NOT on our way to Mexico or somewhere else, we were merely up the street and will be sure to be home before the streetlights come on because, he's right, we DIDN'T have a note..

So, Payton pipes up and says, "Mommy, do you LIKE Darth Vader?"

"Well, obviously I do Payton, I MARRIED him, didn't I"

The lady beside us started choking on a grape. I told her that she wasn't supposed to be sampling anyway. (Joking)

 

[Moonflame]

I was staying with a friend about 20 years ago when her daughter was about 3 years old. She came up to me with M&M's in her hand and held them out saying "I have 2 green M&M's and 2 brown." Thinking this was a good time to start working on addition I asked her if she put them together how many did she have. Her answer -- "All of them." What could I say, she was right. I learned to be very specific with my questions after that .

 

[stover.p]

I had to share some of these are quite funny. #24 is my favorite

Larry's proverbs....................

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your .... tomorrow.

 

[Fudgey]

My favs are 21 -6 -
16 -I know some people like that

 

[suddenly]

I was staying with a friend about 20 years ago when her daughter was about 3 years old. She came up to me with M&M's in her hand and held them out saying "I have 2 green M&M's and 2 brown." Thinking this was a good time to start working on addition I asked her if she put them together how many did she have. Her answer -- "All of them." What could I say, she was right. I learned to be very specific with my questions after that .

Smart little wipper snapper wasn't she.
Sometimes I think kids are smarter than we are. We complicate the crap out of everything.

Farts are hinnyburps in my family. I have never said that word in my life for some strange reason. We won't go into the other words though

 

[Mary Kay]

Mt Little G'son wanted to go outside but it was getting dark so i told him "no, it's getting too dark". He replied "It's not too dark, it's only one dark!: We went outside!

 

[suddenly]

Mt Little G'son wanted to go outside but it was getting dark so i told him "no, it's getting too dark". He replied "It's not too dark, it's only one dark!: We went outside!

It is so hard not to reply to these. They are just too cute. I wonder what he was thinking when he said it was only one dark. We have either forgotten what it was like to be a child or too grown up, but I would love to live in a childs body for a day to see what they see.

 

[Fudgey]

My son told his 1st grade teacher that his grandpa jumped off of a cliff after his fishing pole and he caught the pole and the fish was * this * big. She was still laughing when she told me that at teacher conference. Kids have great imaginations.

 

[suddenly]

My granddaughter was a preemie so she has been in and out of hospitals quite a bit the first 3 years of her life.

She was about 3 and half the last time she was in the hospital. On the day she was to be discharged she told the doctor and anyone else in hearing distance(she is a very loud talker) that now Nana could have her bed because she all the time has to go poopy and needs an operation to close up her poop hole.

I was standing beside her and grabbed her quick and hugged her to shut her up. I was afraid of what she would say next.

 

[stover.p]

My granddaughter was a preemie so she has been in and out of hospitals quite a bit the first 3 years of her life.

She was about 3 and half the last time she was in the hospital. On the day she was to be discharged she told the doctor and anyone else in hearing distance(she is a very loud talker) that now Nana could have her bed because she all the time has to go poopy and needs an operation to close up her poop hole.

I was standing beside her and grabbed her quick and hugged her to shut her up. I was afraid of what she would say next.

poop hole..............that's not a term I haven't heard or thought of. How funny!

 

[Fudgey]

On the day she was to be discharged she told the doctor and anyone else in hearing distance(she is a very loud talker) that now Nana could have her bed because she all the time has to go poopy and needs an operation to close up her poop hole.

How red was your face?? LOL kids are so cute.